A Shot In The Dark
by TheRavynFire
Summary: Formerly Staying For Breakfast. A story about the love/hate relationship between two hunters. Being a hunter is hard enough but when you throw sex and feelings into the mix it just complicates everything even more. Dean/OC. ADULT CONTENT.
1. Angry Fights

**Okay this chapter has nothing to do with the previous chapter. Its just another PWP basically because it was demanded that I write another so I guess I could just turn this into a series of random smut if thats what you all wish! As usual this is not the writing I prefer so if it sucks then I apologize but it was demanded so there for I supplied! Enjoy and review if you wish!!**

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"You know what Dean Winchester, piss off!"

Sam heard the icy tone to the words and flinched in the back seat of the impala. He looked up in time to see Dean turn to the woman beside him with widening eyes and a low growl escaped his mouth. Sam tensed as he waited for his brother's reaction and just in time it came, loud and angry.

"God dammit, woman! Can you be any meaner? I was just trying to help _you_," Dean replied through clenched teeth. "And what the hell are you whining about any way Sam is the one who got hurt. You should be apologizing to him _and_ to me!"

The sharp intake of breath that Alex took made Sam roll his eyes because all Dean had done was fuel the fire. She only glared at the oldest Winchester as Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel and parked the impala right in front of their door. Alex went storming out of the car; slamming the car door shut with such intensity that Sam thought the glass of the window would break. As the car door slammed with a horrifying thud, Dean's eyes went wider if possible and he screeched almost girlishly and climbed out of the car after her.

Sam sighed and began putting his things back in his bag. Alex had only been with them for a few weeks and it seemed that all she and Dean did was fight. She was a damn good hunter which was why Bobby had set them up with her to begin with. But for some reason all she and Dean did was butt heads about everything. Their latest argument had been about their last hunt. Alex had been closing in on a shape shifter they had been hunting and Dean had stepped in the way believing that she couldn't handle it. Because of that not only did the shape shifter get away but he sliced Sam up the arm real good before he did. Now Sam knew that they would argue for the rest of the hunt and probably most of the way to the next hunt and he was getting pretty damn sick of it.

He climbed out of the car and caught the end of one of Dean's rants as he fumbled with the keys to the motel room. Alex stood beside him, arms crossed and looking irritated. "And if you ever slam my car door like that again I will leave your ass stranded here!" Dean finished.

"I would like to see you try, Dean Winchester," Alex retorted.

"Why do you always use my full name every time you get mad at me?" Dean replied sarcastically as he finally got the key in the lock and turned it. "What are you? My mother?"

"Don't go there with me, Dean!" Alex seethed. "God I can't stand you!"

She shoved past him pushing the door open and walking into the room. Dean stormed in after her, mouth open and already ready with a comeback and that was when Sam decided he had, had enough.

"Dean! Alex!" he shouted.

They both jumped and turned to him with surprised looks. "Look if we are all going to be working together then you two can't be fighting like this alright? I don't want to listen to it anymore and it affects all of us. So I'm going to go the library and when I get back you guys better have worked it out or I will."

Alex's jaw dropped as she watched Sam snatch the keys to the impala from Dean and go storming out of the motel with them. The door slammed behind him and moments later they both heard the door of the impala open and close then the rumble of the engine starting. She stood there stunned, her blood boiling and her mouth open in shock when Dean turned to her angrily. Her emerald green eyes met his hazel ones and she frowned at him.

"Now look what you did!" they both said simultaneously, which made them both hesitate.

"What I did?!" Alex said quickly before Dean could say anything else. "It was your attitude that made this happen. You don't ever let me do anything. You always get in the way! I know what I am doing Dean. I have been hunting since I was a little kid same as you and probably have killed more things than you! So the next time we are in the middle of a hunt and I'm about to make a kill- BACK OFF and keep your big nose out of it!"

Dean's whole face fell and his eyes burned with anger. "Look here _Alexandra_ I'll have you know that my nose is a perfect size for my face and not big at all. And secondly if you weren't always getting yourself in trouble then I wouldn't need to come save you."

Alex gasped, her fingers clenching into tight fists. She couldn't believe him. He was everything she hated in a man, arrogant, cocky, sarcastic and most of all a jerk. She didn't care how attractive he was with his perfect sandy blonde hair or his deep hazel eyes, nor did she care that she knew for a fact that under his leather jacket and dark shirt there was smooth skin with a muscular form underneath. She saw the way he wooed the girls at the bar with his cocky smile and his silky voice, knew that he was probably one hell of a lay and was nearly jealous every night he didn't come back to the motel room because he was with a bimbo from the bar. But that didn't mean she was going to bow down to him, he was still a jerk after all and right about now she felt like punching him in the face. And she did.

Her right arm cocked back far, coming across his face so perfectly that she felt the way his nose crunched as her fist collided with it. He stumbled backward a few steps from the force of it, his hand coming up to grip his face as he grunted in pain. His eyes burned with anger as he straightened and looked at her. She stood firm, crossing her arms and meeting his glare. He pulled his hand away from his nose and looked at it, checking to see that there was no blood and when he saw none he looked back at her with teeth clenched.

"Did you just-?"

"Punch you in the face?" she cut in with a triumphant smirk. "Oh yeah."

"You son of a-."

He charged forward making her tense, and she was expecting him to punch her back. Her eyes shut on instinct and her teeth clenched waiting for impact. She felt a firm hand grip her forearm and then she was being yanked against him. Her body hit his and she nearly shivered from the hard muscle she felt, his arm came around her waist to hold her there. She opened her eyes slowly and saw the fiery hazel green irises that burned her with a glare. She really shivered this time as he glared at her and her mouth opened as she searched for something, _anything_, to say. She found nothing and could only stare up at him. He remained still for a long moment until his head leaned forward and his nose touched hers. She was suddenly nervous, her body tensing as she looked up at him.

"Dean, I-," she blurted still unsure what to say.

"Shut up," he ordered.

His head turned and their lips met. Her knees buckled against him and she let out a moan that was completely involuntary. Her skin was suddenly burning and when her mouth opened and his tongue slid over hers she grabbed the material of his shirt and pulled him closer if it were possible. It felt to right for it to be wrong. She was immediately convinced that she was wrong about anything negative she had ever said about him, and she was taking it all back in a heartbeat as his lips wowed her with the best kiss she had ever experienced in her life.

She pulled away from him breathless and needy as he looked down at her determined, it was like he was a predator and she was the prey. He had locked her in his sights and was now determined to get her. She stood hesitant in his arms as she looked at him, unsure of what to do, unsure of what this change meant. She knew that if they went through with what their bodies had planned, nothing would ever be the same for her. She would be shaken by him forever. So many weeks of resisting and to finally give in would mean that she would be giving him a piece of her that she would never get back.

"Take off your jacket," he ordered in a voice low and husky. It wasn't a request, it was a command and she found herself immediately reaching for the lapels of her coat when she hesitated. How did he suddenly gain so much control? She wasn't going to let him have it all.

"No," she said quickly suddenly bold, even though her skin was still tingling from the kiss.

His face set in a scowl and he gripped her arm tight. "Take it off," he repeated, this time slower, but his tone was commanding and this time she didn't rebel.

She slipped her coat off of her shoulders and once it hit the floor he grabbed her again. She was crushed against his form and his mouth was back on hers. Tongues dueled and teeth scraped as he began stepping forward, pushing her backward until she was against the desk. His hands gripped her hips lifting her slightly so she could sit on the desk and wrap her legs around him while his arm moved out to swipe everything that had been on it to the floor. The lamp and telephone were the first to go, the bulb bursting shrouding the room around them in darkness, the only light coming from the bathroom light which Sam had left on earlier, and the phone hanging off the receiver so there was a consistent dial tone playing in the air. Sam's books and research papers were the next to go flying, and surely his laptop too had he not taken it with him to the library which saved it from crashing to the floor. But neither of them cared. Alex was more concerned with Dean's mouth and body pressed against hers and the way her body was opening itself to him completely.

She pushed his coat off his shoulders and his mouth sucked at the skin of her neck. He pulled away just for a mere second as he yanked her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor and then his mouth was back on hers. His hand pulled at her jeans, yanking them until they unbuttoned and slid down her hips. She wiggled until they reached her calves and Dean used his foot to push them off of her legs. She pulled his shirt off, stopping to admire god's great handy work as the material slipped to the floor. She smoothed her hands up his skin marveling at how soft it felt for him to be a man and let out a low sigh when his own hands rubbed up her stomach and brushed her breast. She didn't know that she had wanted him this much until that moment when her legs were wrapped around him and his hands were desperately trying to touch every inch of her. She had been denying it too long and she knew now that, that was a _big_ mistake.

"Dean," she moaned as she leaned back into the wall and his mouth traveled down her neck. She could feel his teeth scraping against her skin and it got her blood boiling as her heart pumped it through her veins. His hand tangled in her hair pulling her mouth back to his as she fumbled with his belt buckle trying to get it undone. He fumbled with them as well, their hands battling over who would finally get it done when Dean pushed her roughly back into the wall and glared at her.

"For once let me do it!" he said softly but there was an edge to his voice that made her nod in answer and wait patiently as she could as he unbuckled them.

She took over the rest pushing his jeans down his hips to reveal that he had thankfully gone commando that day. She hesitated as she looked at his manhood and then back at him to which he smirked proudly and she pulled his waist back to hers. Her legs rewrapped around him tightly and his hand reached between their bodies rubbing against her through her underwear, the friction of the fabric and the pressure of his fingers sending her spiraling into the depths of pleasure so quickly her brain could hardly keep up with all the feelings sweeping through her body at the mercy of his body.

"Jesus Dean don't make me wait anymore!" she groaned arching into him.

Dean smirked, knowing that she was at his mercy and kissed her slowly before pulling back. She bit her lip in anticipation as he slipped her underwear from her hips with an unbearable slowness that made her quiver and tossed them over his shoulder carelessly. He moved back into the open space between her legs grinding into her and making her moan.

"Dean!" she growled through clenched teeth.

"Be patient!" he growled in return grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her face to meet his. He kissed her once again as he slid into her without caution or ease.

She broke away from his mouth with a cry and arched into him at the mixture of pain and pleasure that swept over him. He hesitated allowing her time to adjust before he surged forward again and picked up a rhythm that had her moaning with each movement and getting lost in him. He groaned in her ear, his hand tangled in her hair as the other hand braced himself against the desk that rocked beneath them. She couldn't believe how amazing it felt, how he hit all the right places and moved at just the right angle. She was cursing herself again for denying herself from him for this long and swearing that she would never fight with him again when she felt it; the first spark of an impending orgasm that had her biting her lip and digging her fingers into his flesh. She was spiraling quickly toward an orgasm and tried to put it off, but the pleasure continued to build and build until she was throwing her head back and her body was tightening around him with an intensity that sent him over the edge simultaneously with her. Climax washed over them leaving her trembling against him and his hands gripping the desk so tightly it hurt.

"Jesus Christ," she sighed leaning back into the wall and trying to catch her breath as he leaned against her, his face pressed into her shoulder, his breathing matching her.

"We can't tell Sammy about this," Dean mumbled into her shoulder. "We wouldn't hear the end of it."

Alex nodded in agreement. "Definitely, this is totally just between me and you."

"Yeah, but you don't know how long I've been wanting to do that," Dean whispered lifting his head and looking into her eyes.

She blushed crimson. "What?" she said bashfully.

"Shut you the hell up," he answered. She frowned deeply and he immediately burst into laughter. "Calm down. I'm just kidding, but seriously the fighting and nagging has got to stop."

She sighed heavily and nodded. "As long as you stop acting like an arrogant jerk I can agree to not fight with you."

Dean chuckled. "Fine, but if you ever punch me again I swear you will regret it."

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him on the face where a nice bruise had begun to show itself. He would be remembering this encounter for the next few days. He kissed her again slow and soft, his body starting to reawaken within her again as she moaned into his mouth when they heard the unmistakable rumble of the impala's engine.

"Shit!" Dean muttered withdrawing from her quickly and pulling his pants and underwear up.

She muttered a similar curse and scrambled to get her clothes back on as Dean began picking up all the things that had been on the desk.

"Dean, where the hell are my underwear?" she questioned making him stop and look around for them.

"I don't know! Just put your damn pants on we can find them later!" he mumbled.

The roar stopped just outside the door where the Impala had been parked before and they heard the car door open and close just as Alex slipped on the last of her clothing and they heard Sam's key in the door. Dean launched himself on the bed and sat casually as Alex sat against the desk with arms crossed. Sam entered the room with a frown eyeing them both as they looked at him with nervous smiles.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean said cheerfully winking at Alex. "What happened to the library?"

"It was closed," he mumbled setting his laptop case aside. "Why are you two sitting in the dark?"

Dean and Alex shared a quick glance; they had forgotten that the bulb had broken in the lamp when it was swiped from the table. "I….err…bumped into the desk and knocked the lamp off," Dean said quickly. "My bad."

Sam raised an eyebrow but shut the door behind him and moved through the room to the kitchenette where he turned on the other light. "You do know that there is a light in here right?" he said looking at both of them.

"Yeah it just broke a minute ago so we hadn't turned it on yet," Dean continued as Alex nodded in agreement.

Sam hesitated. "Okay what's going on? You guys are acting weird? Were you fighting some more?"

Dean and Alex shared another glance, both of them blushing crimson as Sam studied them with his eyes. "Nothing, Sam," Alex said after a moment with a huff. "You're reading way too much into this."

"Into what?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Alex countered.

Sam chuckled. "Okay did you guys do it or something?"

"What?!"

"No way, dude!"

"That's just gross!"

"I can't stand her."

Alex threw Dean a glare at his last comment and he gave a quick apologetic look. Sam continued to eye them for a moment before turning his back on them with a shake of his head. Dean and Alex shared a relieved look before Dean flashed a cocky smirk. Sam turned again bringing both their eyes to him as he moved to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He opened it and took a sip, his eyes moving to the ceiling where he did a double take and froze.

"Uhh…okay if nothing happened then why are Alex's panties hanging from the fan?"


	2. The Green Eyed Monster

_**A/N: So I don't know about you guys but I was really taken with Alex's character and her relationship with Dean. Even though those two don't get along they seem to have really hot s*x lol…well atleast in my brain they do…so I decided to do a sequel to the previous chapter and bring Alex back for round two with Dean. Let me know what you guys think okay? Awesome. Enjoy.**_

"I hate him, Sam."

"No, you don't Alex. You guys just…don't get along."

"No, I really think I hate him, Sam."

Sam watched as Alex gave an assured nod as she picked up the shot glass and downed its contents. She grimaced as she put the shot glass back on the bar and Sam knew it was burning her throat, even he couldn't drink straight tequila. He sat beside her at the bar, sipping his own beer as they both watched Dean work his magic on some blonde chick across the bar. Dean was leaned against the wall, sipping a beer, acting mildly interested in whatever the blonde was babbling on about. Every now and then the blonde would laugh and place her hand on Dean's chest, which in turn made Alex grit her teeth so loud Sam could hear it. If Alex's eyes hadn't already been green, he was sure that they would have turned green as she watched Dean.

It had been a month since their sexual encounter, and she was still reeling from it. They hadn't so much as touched each other since then, and neither of them knew why it had to come to that when it had been so fantastic. Despite what she had hoped, things had gotten worse since they had sex. The fighting was nonstop, the bitterness at an all time high, and her self esteem was at an all time low. Dean had stolen a piece of her that she had not gotten back, and it had left her unsure of herself and completely pissed off. He seemed completely unsympathetic to her, and acted as if nothing had happened between them at all, which enraged her. But she swallowed down his rejection and arrogance the best she could and ignored him in turn unless it was absolutely necessary to speak with him.

They had decided to go out and celebrate their latest successful hunt which had been cleaning out a vampire nest which had killed six people in town. It was a small bar which could have passed as a club since it had a dance floor; they had passed by on the way into town and decided to come check it out. Alex had even decided to dress up, putting on a black miniskirt and strappy high heels with a skin tight v-neck black blouse to match. Dean had commented on her attire rudely as she came out of the bathroom brushing her hair, asking which corner she planned on working. Sam had to run and stand in front of Dean to keep her from ripping his head off.

"I slept with him," Alex said thickly as she picked up the next shot glass in her line of tequila shots and downed it bitterly. "I slept with him, Sam."

Sam smirked. "I know, Alex."

"Do you know what that means?" she asked looking at Sam as she set down the empty shot glass. "That means that we swapped bodily fluids. I swapped bodily fluids with…_that_," she said pointing at Dean.

Sam's eyes followed her finger and he saw that the blonde was now completely in Dean's arms, and his nose was touching hers as she smiled up at him. Alex groaned with disgust and picked up the next shot glass in line, which is when Sam reached out to stop her.

"Alex, come on," he said taking the shot glass from her and putting it back on the bar. "You are going to get totally shitfaced if you don't stop. I know he's my brother and all, but he is not worth this. So you guys had sex, so what? Don't let him get to you. You are a kick ass hunter, not some girl who whines over a jerk at the bar."

Alex blinked up at him, slightly inebriated and taken aback by his firm words. Big brown eyes looked down into hers and she couldn't help but smile up at him. "Sam…that was really sweet…I think," she said.

Behind them someone put a quarter in the modern day juke box and music blared through the semi crowded bar. It was some upbeat club techno mix that surprised most of the inhabitants. Alex groaned, but felt her blood get boiling. She hadn't danced in a long time, and now she was getting a sudden urge. Her green eyes lifted again and she saw Dean being pulled by the blonde onto the dance floor as he half heartedly protested. Once on the dance floor the girl immediately turned her back to him and grinded her back side against him to the rhythm which had Dean rolling his eyes in pleasure as his hands gripped her hips. The rest of the dance floor soon began to fill up and Dean and the gyrating blonde were blocked from her view.

Alex frowned deeply as she felt jealousy rush through her. Dean's hazel green eyes finally moved away from the blonde and met with hers, and he smiled smugly as the blonde slid her butt down his body and back up. She gritted her teeth as his eyes left hers and his attention was returned to the blonde. _Two can play that game Mr. _Winchester, she thought as slid from the bar. She nearly lost her balance, but Sam turned and caught her with strong arms.

"Whoa, where you going?" he asked with a smirk.

"Come dance with me, Sammy," she said taking the hands that he used to catch her and putting them on her waist. "I want to dance…and I want you to dance with me."

Sam's face fell as he shook his head. "Oh no, Alex. I don't dance," he said with a chuckle. "And I definitely don't dance in public."

Alex shook her head in refusal. "No, Sam Winchester. You are going to dance with me right now, because you care about me and don't want to hurt my feelings. So get your butt up and dance with me!"

Sam sighed heavily and took a long swig from his beer bottle, before sliding down from his stool. She smiled triumphantly at him and led him to the dance floor. She took his hand as they moved inside the dancing crowd until she could see Dean and his blonde clearly. She turned her back on them quickly to face Sam as she yanked his body to hers which made Sam gasp. He was all hard muscle which made her shiver in surprise as she ran her hands up his chest and too his shoulders. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Dean had noticed them on the dance floor and was watching them intently, the blonde in his arms completely forgotten as he watched Alex grind her hips into Sam's.

She turned her back to Sam so she was facing Dean and his little blonde friend, Dean's eyes locking with hers as she reached behind her and put her arm around Sam's neck. She smirked smugly at Dean as she pushed her butt into Sam's hips and slid down his body slowly, nearly touching the floor before rising back up, making Dean's eyes go wide. Sam let out an involuntary moan and she felt him tense against her, his hands reaching forward to take her hips. She saw Dean grit his teeth before Sam spun her around to face him again making her let out a surprised yelp. Sam looked down at her, his lips tight and eyes dark. His fingers dug into her hips as she rose on tip toe, wrapping her arms around his neck and continuing to move against him to the music.

Suddenly Dean was lost from her mind as she looked up into Sam's big brown eyes and he looked down at her. His arm came around her tight making her gasp again as he yanked her harder against him, leaving absolutely no space between them. She shivered again at the feel of his muscles bulging beneath his skin, and his hands began moving around her body, rubbing her back and moving down her hips. She bit her lip looking up at Sam as her brain tried to understand how the dance had gone from semi innocent to completely sexual.

"God, Alex," Sam whispered huskily, leaning down to say it in her ear. "You feel really good."

His words sent a fiery heat through her that surprised her. Was Sam Winchester really turning her on? She had never even looked at him in that way, but now suddenly she was. With him pressed against her so hard she could feel the hardness of him pressing into her stomach. She sighed in pleasure when she felt his warm hand slide around her waist and run over her butt cupping it fully in his hand and giving it a squeeze. His other hand smoothed up her side, running over her breast before cupping her neck. She threw her head back as he leaned down again his nose brushing the skin of her neck, she squeezed his shoulders tight sighing at how great he felt against her.

"Sam," she whispered unsure of what she was going to say, but sure she needed to say something. She felt like her skin was on fire and her blood was boiling. She was beginning to fill with want for him and she knew that soon there would be no turning back.

"Alex," he whispered in return, his lips brushing across her check.

His mouth was dangerously close to hers now and his breath was warm against her cheeks. Her eyes closed in anticipation as she felt his lips at the corner of hers when suddenly she was yanked backward from him roughly. Her eyes opened in surprise as she stumbled backwards a few steps and she found Dean standing angrily between her and Sam, who looked just as surprised as she was. The blonde was standing nearby looking at them all confused and surprised.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Dean said angrily through teeth clenched.

"Dancing," Sam said reasonably.

"It sure and the hell doesn't look like dancing," Dean spat angrily. "You guys may as well be doing it right here on the damn dance floor!"

"I don't see how that is any of your business," Alex said angrily. "Sam and I can dance with whoever we want and that includes each other so back the hell off Winchester."

Dean's eyes went wide as he looked down at her, his eyes nearly on fire. She felt heat lick her insides and she forced herself to turn her back on him. She was confused about the emotions waging within her. One minute she was hot and heavy on the dance floor with Sam and now she was feeling that same old fire for Dean as he gazed at her.

"Sam," she said quickly as she walked to him and took his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just going to go back to the motel, I shouldn't have….I'm sorry. I just need to be alone for a little while. Stay here and have fun alright?"

"Alex," Sam started squeezing her hand. "Come on you don't have to leave-."

"No, Sam, I do," she insisted shaking her head.

She moved past him, Dean, and the blonde grabbing her coat off the bar stool before storming from the club. It was raining lightly outside, making her slip her coat on and hug herself as she walked outside. She moved quickly, rounding the back of the building where Dean had parked the impala. It was dark behind the building which was the whole reason he had parked it there, he wanted to make sure no one messed with his precious 'baby'. She hesitated for a moment, considering kicking the big hunk of metal, but thought better of it. The impala had done nothing to piss her off, it couldn't help that its owner was a jerk.

She sighed and was headed towards the road that led to the motel when she felt a hand grab her arm. She turned quickly, bringing her arm back quickly to elbow her assailant in the face, when a hand wrapped around her wrist and spun her. She was slammed backward into the cold steel of the impala and looked up to find angry hazel green eyes staring down at her.

"Jesus!" Dean shouted in surprise holding her arm. "Do you ever quit?!"

She growled in frustration yanking her arm from his gasp and pushing him two steps away from her. "Leave me the hell alone, Dean," she said moving away from him and the impala.

"No," he said angrily grabbing her arm again and yanking her back towards his body. "You are going to tell me what the hell that was in there! Grinding all over Sammy like that and then nearly kissing him? What the hell were you thinking?"

Alex seethed in his grasp. "Oh my god! Who the hell do you think are? I can dance with or kiss who ever the hell I want! Just admit it, you're jealous."

Dean huffed angrily. "Yeah right," he said. "I know the only reason you were dancing all over Sammy like that was because _you_ were trying to make _me_ jealous!"

Alex frowned so deeply it made her face hurt. "As if Winchester, I know for a fact that I can't stand you!"

Dean stormed towards her, gripping her hips before yanking her body to his. "And I know for a fact that you're a god damned liar. You were jealous and you want me and I will prove it."

She trembled against him feeling his muscles pressing her into his body. Her mouth opened to retort and her brain willed her arms to push him away, but nothing happened on her part. His hand came up gripping her damp dark waves as he pulled her head to his, his mouth catching hers. The kiss was rough and his tongue delved into her mouth exploring and making her moan. He was so warm even with the cold rain sprinkling down on them, starting to soak their clothes and faces. He moved forward pushing her body into the cold steel of the impala as his hand delved into her blouse, squeezing her breasts roughly. She pulled away from his mouth gasping and panting as his mouth moved downward towards her neck. He bit into the skin of her neck hard making her gasp in pain, but even then she still couldn't stop him. His hands were holding onto her so tightly she was sure she would have bruises the next day.

She moaned aloud as his knee forced its way between her thighs, spreading her legs apart. One hand gripped the hem of her skirt yanking it up and pushing her lacy panties aside. His fingers were inside of her so abruptly that she called out his name in surprise.

"See," he whispered huskily into her ear pushing his fingers up further. "I don't hear you saying 'stop', Alex".

Her body pulsated around his fingers making him moan as he began to fumble with his belt buckle trying to multi task between pleasing her and releasing himself. When his jeans were finally undone he removed his fingers, one hand sliding around to grab her butt and lift her up slightly. With a savage thrust he was inside of her making stars erupt behind her eyes at the sudden mixture of pleasure and pain. His strokes were long and hard, her back against the driver's side door of the impala, the rain falling over their heads, it was almost romantic. Right and wrong had gone out the window, he didn't care that they were outside behind a building where anyone could come by and see, things just felt too good to worry about getting caught. He filled her completely making the pleasure build up reach its peak fast and she could feel herself about to orgasm. And judging from his grunts and the way his body began to tense he was too.

But she was confused, her brain surging past a ton of emotions and feelings. Between dancing with Sam and Dean's hot mouth and body pressed against hers, her body was in desperate need of some kind of release. But she was not going to let Dean Winchester have her so easily again after tossing her aside carelessly after the last time. Her wounds still stung from that encounter and they were slowly beginning to heal so she was not going to let him reopen them because he was jealous.

"No!" she said angrily shoving him away from her. Her body abruptly protested at the quick change to being filled by Dean and then suddenly empty. She almost grabbed him again, but she stopped herself. She pulled her skirt down and wiggled her butt a little bit until her panties slipped back into place. "No. This is not going to happen."

He stumbled a few steps backward from the force of her shove, his eyes wide in surprise. His lips were still swollen from kissing her as he quickly tucked himself, still hard and leaking, back into his jeans. She ran both hands through her damp hair as she tried to get her brain back in control of her body. She looked at him angrily as he looked at her still breathing heavily.

"I can't do this with you again, Dean," she snapped, shaking her head as she paced lightly back and forth. "One minute you want me and then all of a sudden you toss me aside just like I'm another one of your bar bimbos. For the past month you have ignored me and acted like a complete jerk, while I watched you blow your way through one woman after another. And just because you're jealous because I danced with Sam, I am not going to let you fuck me so you can feel like a man. I don't sleep with guys who don't really want me. What happened last time was a heat of the moment thing and I let you get the best of me, and now I can't get that back. And I refuse to give you any more of me just so you can stroke your ego and feel like you're wanted. If you don't really want me then keep your hands off me."

His face fell and the words seemed to sting him in a way that made him flinch. She felt tears stinging her eyes and put her head in her hands so he wouldn't see. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had made her cry, not that he would really be able to tell with the rain spattering on her face anyway. She was done with his games and done with him. She was not going to be another notch on his bed post. Adjusting her clothes one last time she turned again intending to head back to the motel.

"Alex," he said softly making her stop and turn to him with a sigh. He stepped towards her, reaching out to grab her arm, but she swatted his hand away. "Stop, Alex, let me say something," he said softly. "I want you okay? I've always wanted you from the very first day I saw you alright? And I'm not as smooth as the sensitive guys out there with saying feelings and crap, but you should know that I…especially since we...God, come on Alex don't make me say it."

She only looked up at him, her eyes pleading for the words he didn't want to say. He opened his mouth and closed it several times before he sighed and shook his head. She sighed as well, the pit in her stomach growing as she looked away from him and wiped at her wet face.

"I care about you, Alex," he blurted quickly making Alex look up at him with bright eyes, as he blinked down at her against the rain. "And I want you….a lot more than you know."

When his hand came up to caress her cheek, she didn't stop him. And when his lips came forward and brushed hers, her mouth opened in anticipation. The rush of heat she felt when his lips pressed against hers was nothing like the one she felt with Sam on the dance floor. This heat was like that of the sun, flooding her entire body and leaving her gasping and trembling in his arms. Dean's arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly as he tried to meld their bodies together permanently.

"Dammit, Dean," she sighed as she gave in and his mouth pulled away from hers traveling down her neck line. "I want you too."

His mouth returned to hers, making her moan into him. His hands slid down her body, warm hands moving to the inside of her thighs and up to the warmth underneath her skirt. It was such a change from his previous rough movements that it made her body tingle all over.

Above their heads the rain went from sprinkling to pouring and Dean pulled away from her mouth reluctantly as he looked up at the sky. He pulled away from her, digging in his coat pockets and pulling out his keys as he moved to the door of the backseat. He unlocked it and pulled it open looking back at Alex who stood watching him.

"You wanna get in?" he asked softly looking so vulnerable she almost hugged him.

Alex hesitated, she knew what was going to happen if she got into the backseat with him, and though her body was screaming for Dean to be inside of her again, her brain was protesting. He had admitted his feelings, but she wasn't so sure she was ready to give up that easily. She looked into his hazel green eyes as he stared down at her and sighed. She made her decision and moved towards him, sliding in to the backseat and lying on her back. Dean looked around making sure no one had come out and saw their little tryst and slid into the car above her. She gasped at the intense feeling that washed over her as his body lay above hers. She lifted her head to kiss him, but he pulled back.

"Hold on," he said sitting up slightly and pushing her coat off her shoulders. He lifted her shirt over her head and laid back over her. One hand traveled down to her waist, pushing her skirt up as Dean grinded the hardness of him into the warmth of her. She moaned as his hand slipped between them, his fingers pushing in between her underwear and slipping inside of her.

"Dean!" she gasped arching her back into him as his fingers slid in and out at an unbearable slowness.

"Alex," he moaned into her ear, his free hand leaving her breast to cradle her head. "I want you so bad. I want to feel you, kiss you, touch you, and taste you."

She grabbed his neck, yanking his face to hers as their mouths met and she sucked his tongue. She pushed his coat from his shoulders before her hands went south beginning to unbutton his jeans again. She was trembling beneath him, achy and needy for him. Her body was warm and wet around his fingers making him so hard that it began to hurt. The rough attempt at sex against the impala had left them both needy and close to orgasm, but Dean was determined to put it off even though Alex wasn't being so patient.

"I can't wait anymore," she moaned sliding his jeans and boxers down his hips.

She could feel him rubbing against her entrance making her raise her hips to try and bring him inside of her. He evaded her, continuing to kiss her and use his fingers on her until she was nearly convulsing beneath him, close to an orgasm. His mouth left hers licking its way down her neck to her stomach, as his hands gripped her hips and pushed her body up into a sitting position. She leaned back against the window as Dean went lower, his mouth finding her wetness and kissing it gently.

"Holy hell," she gasped gripping a handful of sandy blonde hair as his kisses turned to licks.

She arched her back against the window, one hand reaching out to grip the back of the front seat and the other still gripping that sandy blonde hair. She was moaning loudly not caring who could walk by and hear. She started shaking as his tongue worked her over, relentless and determined. She was gasping soon, her nails digging into the leather of the impala as her blood boiled and the pleasure build up reached an all time high.

"God, Dean, don't stop," she pleaded twisting and bucking. "Please just don't stop."

He obliged her request, continuing till the orgasm burst within in her and she cried out loudly inside the impala. He sat up with a smug grin as her body trembled through the aftershocks of it and she sighed heavily. Dean yanked her body back down into a laying position as he slid back over her, kissing her again.

"Don't get to relaxed," he whispered into her ear as he settled himself back in between her thighs, marveling at how perfectly he fit there, like they had been designed for each other. "I am not through with you yet."

With one well placed thrust he drove into her without hesitation or courtesy making her arch her body into him and moan his name so sweetly he nearly came. But he paused his movements, halting his orgasm and allowing her time to adjust to him before he picked up a smooth rhythm. The impala rocked with his movement, creaking on its hinges as he gripped the leathery seats beneath her and her hands gripped his hips as if he were the only thing anchoring her to her existence.

She felt so right in his arms with him inside her that he felt like a complete ass for the way he had acted in the past month. But what was he supposed to do? Try and start a relationship with her? He wasn't relationship material, and he didn't want to hurt her. So he blew her off, and that hadn't worked out as well as he planned it. He could barely stand to be in her presence every day and not kiss or touch her, and watching her on the dance floor with Sam had made him want to punch his little brother in his face for touching what was his.

"Oh Alex," he moaned into her ear as he drove deeper into her making her cry out with each thrust. "You don't know how much I missed this."

"Dean," she sighed in response throwing her head back, her fingers digging deeper into his hips.

"The way you feel," he sighed kissing her neck and tangling his hands in her hair. "The way you taste. I'm an idiot for acting that way to you."

Alex was too distracted by her impeding orgasm to fully appreciate his form of apology, but she made a mental note to thank him later. In the mean time she showed her appreciation by letting her orgasm rip through her with an intensity that had her shaking and calling out his name. Her walls clamped down around him and he began to tremble above her as the buildup in him reached its peak. His fingers dug into the leather of the impala and his whole body tensed as he spilled himself into her with a long grunt.

"Oh my god," he sighed collapsing on top of her smelling the damp leather of the impala and the sweet smell of her perfume.

She said nothing as he lay atop her, trying to get a hold of the feelings that had welled up inside of her from the encounter. Now what were they going to do? They had put themselves in another awkward situation and while the sex had been amazing as usual they were still at that 'what do we do now?' point.

He sat up on his elbows looking down at her with flushed cheeks before he kissed her slowly. He pulled back from the kiss slowly, running a hand over her damp hair and looking deeply into her eyes. She felt a rush of something warm within her and she swallowed it hard before she let herself fall for him again. She didn't want to give in to him when at any moment he could go back to his old jerk ways.

"Alexandra," he said softly surprising her. He didn't use her full name unless he was pissed off and wanted to piss her off as well. But now his voice was so serious and his eyes looked deeply into hers seeing parts of her that she wasn't ready for him to see. She was completely vulnerable to him in that moment and she nearly panicked.

"I'm sorry alright?" he continued closing his eyes and shaking his head. "You were right, I was jealous and I have been acting like a jerk…it's just...you know me alright? You know I am not good with this touchy feely crap so I avoid it. And that works for me. So-."

"Dean!" she said quickly surprising him as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. "I understand okay? Let's just go one day at a time. I'm not expecting to be your girlfriend or anything, I just…. No touchy feely crap…just don't act like a complete ass alright?"

Dean hesitated looking at her in surprise before a small smirk spread across his face. "Alright," he agreed.

TBC….Maybe….


	3. A Shot In The Dark

**A/n: So I figured that I was going to make this into a story…of some sorts… or just make it all about Dean and Alex...idk I will figure it out eventually. Heres another Dean/Alex chapter with a little bit of lemon…not to much but there will be more next chapter if things go right…or if I get enough reviews...just kidding...or am I????? anyway! Let me know what you think mkay? Awesome. **

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"Run Alex!" Dean shouted giving her a shove towards the entrance of the cave.

"Dean I can't leave you!" she replied grabbing his arm. "Come with me."

"Dammit Alex just go! I'll be right behind you I promise," he insisted pushing her again. His voice was so panicked and urgent she actually listened to his words and began moving toward the cave entrance. "Run, Alex, now!"

She could hear the screech of the wendigo as she urged her feet to move faster and she went running from the cave. The cold night air immediately hit her face and she gasped at the iciness of it. It made her lungs hurt to breathe in the cold air, but she ignored the bite of it and continued running because Dean told her too. She could barely see ahead in the dense woods and her flashlight was small and dim, not offering enough light to see even a foot in front of her. But she continued running as fast as she could away from the cave and away from Dean.

She didnt know how long she had run for before she collapsed against a large oak tree gasping for air and leaning against it. Her lungs were burning and her legs hurt from running and jumping over tree limbs. She looked up at the sky trying to find the moon but found it hidden behind the high tree branches leaving her in utter darkness except for the small light from her flashlight. She felt panic creeping up her spine and forced it down with a deep breath as she reached for her gun to give her a sense of safety. But when she felt nothing in the waist band of her jeans she gasped in surprise and looked around her feet.

_Shit! Did I drop it? Oh god I dropped it! I am the worst hunter in existence; no real hunter would drop their damn gun. What the hell is wrong with me? Oh god I am alone in the dark with no weapon!_

She turned around looking for the beam of Dean's flashlight and saw nothing which made her heart skip a beat. Where the hell was he? _I'll be right behind you. I promise. _That's what he had said and he wasn't there. She sighed and tried to force herself to take a deep breath and that's when she realized her lower back near her right side was burning and something warm was trickling down her back. _Am I bleeding?_ She thought reaching behind her to touch the burning area and flashing her light on her fingers, dark red liquid stained her fingers and she groaned. _Awesome, just fucking awesome, I am bleeding. _She heard a twig snap behind her and nearly jumped out of her skin and let out a yelp. She covered her mouth quickly and shined her light in the area of which she heard the twig snap. She could see nothing and hear nothing which frightened her more than actually seeing something.

_Oh god it's the damn wendigo. It ate Dean and now its here to eat me! And I have no fire and no gun to even hold it off. Oh god I am so screwed!_

Tears began to well in her eyes as fear crept up her spine and took hold of her completely. She started breathing heavily as panic came in second to sit with fear and she felt the tears begin to fall down her face.

_Great Alex first you drop your gun and now your crying to boot! Wonderful just wonderful!_

"Okay shut up," she whispered aloud to herself. "Just shut up. I am going to figure this out before I become a whiny baby who needs a diaper change. I just need to be calm and collected and think about this."

She knew that they head parked the impala on the main road that was east of dense woods where the cave that the wendigo was currently inhabiting sat. The cave had been a mile and a half deep into the woods which she and Dean had walked too. If she could just get back to the impala she could at least wait there safely for Dean and worse came to worse she could go get Sam for help. _Now which way did I run when I came out of the cave?_ She asked herself trying to think back. She couldn't remember which made her curse aloud.

_Okay it's no biggie. I can use the GPS on my cell…no better than that I will call Sammy and he will come and everything will be okay. _

She dug into her pocket for her cell phone and pulled up Sam's number. Dean had ordered Sam to stay behind at the motel and let them handle the wendigo so she and Dean could have some time alone. They hadn't been alone for more than ten minutes since they had had sex in the impala at the bar which had been three weeks ago. She and Dean had patched things up for the most part, although they didn't tell Sam what happened in the impala, and hadn't had sex since. Alex didn't want things to get weird between them all. It was bad enough that Sam knew about their first encounter he didn't need to know about their on going sexual activities. But she had a feeling Sam knew, the attraction between she and Dean was hard to hide and Sam had nearly walked in on them making out while he had been in the shower more than ten times in the past week. She and Dean both knew and understood that they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. And even though they had both agreed to not fight they did bicker back and forth every now and then, but for the most part things were fine. The sexual chemistry between them had seemed to intensify from their last encounter. Dean was beginning to get so frustrated from their lack of privacy and he had even told her that if they didn't get to spend some time alone together soon his balls were going to be bluer than a smurfs; but their cases had been back to back. They only had time to find out whatever it was killing or hurting people, kill or exorcise whatever creature it was, crash back at the motel and move on to the next case. And even in the down time it was too hard to try anything with Sam always being around. So when the wendigo case came up and they couldn't find any other case next leaving them with some down time, Dean figured he and Alex could go alone to kill the wendigo and then go out after.

_And that plan is totally screwed now because Dean is dead probably_, she thought.

She pressed talked and put the phone to her ear waiting to hear a comforting ring and then Sam's voice, but her ear was assaulted by a shrill beeping that made her jump. She looked at the screen and saw that the beeping was signaling that she had no bars, which meant no reception. The words **no signal**flashing on the screen which she read as: _You are so damn screwed right now._ Growling angrily she shoved her beeping cell phone back into her pocket and looked around for Dean once more. She didn't see a glimpse of him anywhere in the darkness nor did she hear the sound of his footsteps.

"Dean!" she called out loud.

_Oh yeah, call out like an idiot, like every typical person does in a horror movie and lead the thing that's trying to eat you straight to you. That's smart._

"Shut up!" she whispered through clenched teeth. But the little taunting voice in the back of her head was right. If Dean had been eaten by the wendigo and it was now after her, she probably just led it right to her. She knew Dean pretty well now and if he wasn't hurt or captured or dead, he would have found her by now. He would have been right behind her just like he said. The tears started well up again and panic and fear hugged her even tighter. She had no weapon, and no cell phone reception, and she was alone in the woods. She was a mile away from the impala, with no sense of which direction she was in.

"I'm going to die," she whispered to herself with an assured nod. "I am going to die."

In her hand the flash light began to flicker which made her heart skip a beat. _No! No! No! _It shut off completely blanketing her in darkness and she slapped it against her hand angrily. _The batteries are dead, the batteries can't be dead! _She sighed as the tears began falling freely down her face and she allowed herself to sob. She leaned back against the tree causing the burn in her back to worsen, but she ignored the pain and dropped the flash light covering her face with both her hands. _Its no use_, she thought._ I am going to be stuck out here and eventually eaten!_

She jumped when she felt strong hands grip her arms and she let out a scream. Her instincts immediately kicked in and she shoved whoever or whatever it was away. The person or thing grunted and stumbled backward a few steps before recovering quickly and grabbing her arm. She turned jamming her elbow in her attackers ribs and using her body weight to brush them off. They recovered even quicker and this time wrapped both arms around her, locking her in a tight grip and holding her in place. She squirmed and kicked until she heard the attackers voice loud and clear in her ear.

"Alex! Stop! Stop it! It's me, Dean! Calm down!" came Dean's voice thick with irritation.

She stopped immediately and he released her as she spun quickly to face him. It only took a second for her eyes to adjust before she could recognize that it was Dean's worried face looking down at her. She sighed with relief and couldn't ignore the urge to jump into his arm. He caught her with a grunt making him drop the supply bag he had been holding and wrap his arms around her. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist squeezing him tighter. She buried her face into his neck as she began to sob uncontrollably, kicking herself for letting her fear get the best of her. She hated showing all this emotion in front of him. He held her tightly, letting out a heavy sigh of relief.

"It's okay," Dean whispered into her ear. "I'm here. I'm here. You're safe."

"Jesus Christ Dean," she whispered pulling back to look into his hazel green eyes. "My phone didn't have any reception and I dropped my gun and I thought that you were…I thought…."

She couldn't even finish what she had been thinking. It hurt too much to think about it. She reburied her face into his neck and squeezed him tightly. She wanted him to hold her forever, so that way she knew where he was and that he would never leave her again. _God I have turned into a sappy idiot_, she thought. She knew that later she was going to be regretting this, she was showing far to much emotion right now which is not what they had agreed to back in the impala. It was supposed to be a casual thing, and here she was bawling in his arms because she thought he had died.

"I'm going to let you down for a minute alright?" he said making her look at him once more. She shook her head and whimpered. "Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here."

She reluctantly nodded and he set her down on her feet. She stepped closer to him on impulse, taking in his body heat and presence. She wiped at her eyes as he knelt down into his supply bag and pulled out another flash light, turning it on and holding it upward so they could see each other. She sighed again and made sure her face was tear free; even though she was sure her eyes were red and puffy. He reached out and caressed her cheek, making heat rush through her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly his hand moving up to run through her hair.

"I'm fine…I just…" she sighed heavily, looking up at him. No, she was far from fine, and suddenly she was getting pissed. "What the hell, Dean? Sending me out here alone?! I was lost dammit. I couldn't find you and I thought…" she broke off and looked up at him angrily unable to finish.

His face fell slightly at her words and he sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you got out of there while the wendigo kicked my ass. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she repeated reaching out and grabbing his arm. She wanted to anchor herself to him so she knew that he was not going anywhere. She realized she was shivering and it wasn't from cold, the fear and panic was still holding her just not as badly as before. She had been more afraid than she had ever been in her entire life. "I was just…really scared."

"I know," he replied. "You're shaking."

She nodded looking down at her trembling body. "Yeah."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked looking around unsure.

She hesitated looking up at him through the darkness. She wanted to say "get me the hell out of here", but when she opened her mouth those words did not come out. She had been terrified moments ago, but with Dean so near to her she had just wanted him to hold her. She hated wendigo's and hated hunting them even more. In fact she hated any supernatural creature that ate humans, because she had a horrifying phobia of being eaten alive, which didn't really make her hunting career ideal. When she had been in the wendigo's cave with Dean and it had knocked Dean out and was closing on her, her heart had nearly stopped in her chest. The thing was nearly taking a bite out of her when Dean knocked it out and ordered her to run. What she really wanted was to be back in their motel with a large burger and lights, where she knew both Dean and Sam would be and she would be safe. But she wanted to be alone with Dean just for the moment.

"Hold me," she said pulling him closer. "Hold me so I know you're here."

He didn't even hesitate as his arms came around her tightly and hugged her body to his. He shifted for a moment, placing the flashlight in his jean pocket so that it was still shining upward at them, before pulling her closer. She sighed against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her face into his chest and breathed in his scent. He smelt like sweat and generic soap, but it was like heaven to her nostrils. She had lain awake many nights imagining that smell in her nose and his body pressed against hers. If it was possible she could have stayed in his arms forever if it meant that he never left and that's when it hit her. The reason why she had been so scared, the way he never left her thoughts or dreams, the way that when he held her everything seemed so right. She was in love with him that was the only explanation, she was in love with Dean Winchester. This revelation came to her with a gasp and she looked up into his eyes. He looked down at her confused for a moment.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Maybe we should get you out of here-."

"No!" she said quickly cutting him off as he tried to move away from her. "Please…just hold me for a minute longer. I'm scared and cold and it's all your fault so hold me damn it."

He froze taken aback by her outburst, but rewrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She looked up at him as his eyes gazed down at her, trying to ignore the feeling of warmth at being so close to him spread through her like wildfire. She moved her arms up wrapping them around his neck as she urged him downward, wanting to kiss and taste him. He obliged and dipped his head towards hers. His lips met hers tentatively at first until her lips parted and his tongue slid in. She moaned into his mouth, her hands bunching up his shirt. The warmth continued to flood her entire body and pooled right at her core, leaving her hot and needy against him. He took a step forward pressing her into the tree and pinning her there with his body. The bark dug into her back making the sting of her wounds intensify but the discomfort of it was pushed somewhere to the back of her mind as his hands moved to the button of her jeans.

"Oh Dean," she moaned as one of his hands slipped inside of her jeans and brushed over her. "I was so scared...I thought you were dead."

Dean groaned as he slipped two fingers within her, his free hand sliding around her waist and bringing her body to his. "I know," he replied into her neck. "I was afraid I'd lost you out here."

Her skin was burning as his fingers worked her. She was panting against him, one hand gripping a low tree branch hanging above her head and the other holding onto his shoulder to keep her standing. This had been way long over due for the both of them and she wanted him badly right then and there even if it meant doing it in the dark woods. His mouth found the skin of her neck and sucked it into his mouth making her gasp.

She moaned gripping his shoulder tight. "I thought you were gone and I was so scared because I would have never gotten that chance to tell you-."

She stopped quickly, kicking herself mentally for what she was about to let slip. She couldn't tell him that she loved him now, that would be to awkward, more awkward then having sex against a tree in the middle of the night. It would complicate things far more than they already were and she knew that the three word phrase would send Dean running from her. He shocked her from her thoughts by moving his mouth lower and yanking down the top of her tank, exposing her lacy blue bra. With more grace then any man should have he used his mouth to move aside the material before taking a nipple into his mouth.

"Oh god," she moaned throwing her head back.

"What wouldn't you have got the chance to tell me?" Dean asked pulling away from her breasts and looking down at her. His face was serious, but his tone was husky and his fingers continued to work her over.

She shook her head licking her lips as the pleasure continued to consume her body, making it hard to focus on anything more than his fingers inside of her. "Nothing," she sighed as he pushed his fingers in a little more. "Nothing at all."

"Oh I don't think it was nothing," he replied leaning in to nip at her bottom lip. "Tell me Alex, I want to know."

She shook her head again moaning as he urged his fingers deeper and they brushed over her g spot. "Nothing, Dean. Just…forget it…god I think I'm gonna cum." Dean pressed his body into hers more, allowing her to feel the hardness of him pressing into her belly. His movements slowed making her moan in protest, but she was still close, she could almost taste it.

"Tell me or I'll stop," he said making her shake her head.

"No, please don't," she moaned opening her eyes and looking at him.

"Then what was it that you wanted to tell me?" he questioned pushing his fingers back in and moving them quicker.

She began to tremble, feeling the orgasm begin to tingle around his fingers. She was moaning and hanging onto him, praying that he wouldn't stop and finally let her orgasm around him. She bit her lip grinding around his fingers and squeezing his shoulder as her eyes shut tight.

"Alex," she heard him say in her ear. "Come on…tell me…"

"Dean," she gasped. "Please…just…I don't want to say it okay? Just don't stop please."

Dean shook his head. "Then I am going to have to stop because I want to know," he whispered into her ear pushing in his fingers a little more before nearly withdrawing them completely.

"No!" she moaned reaching down to grab his wrist and keep him in place.

"Then say it," he urged sliding his fingers back in and right over her g spot once more. He stayed there sliding his finger back and forth over it making her cry out.

"I was just....gonna say...that...." she started gasping in between the words as she felt the pressure of it all reaching its peak. "God Dean..."

"You were going to say what?" he prodded pressing further into him driving his fingers in as deep as they would go sending her over the edge. The orgasm came in a rush, taking over her whole body making her throw her head back and moan out the answer to his question loudly. She couldn't help herself, it was like everything inside of her burst with ecstasy and then she was moaning the three words into his ear, nearly relishing in the way they slid off her tongue so smoothly.

"I love you, Dean."

He tensed completely against her, withdrawing his fingers and stepping backward as he looked down at her. Her eyes snapped open and her face fell as she looked up at him, already wishing she had her gun so she could shoot herself for admitting her feelings. She tried to read his face, but it was utterly blank, and his jaw was tight. He didn't say anything for a long moment only stared at her.

"What did you say?" he asked looking at her.

"Dean," she started shaking her head. "I didn't mean…"

"You didn't mean it?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.

"No! I...think I did... I just-."

"We should go," he said quickly putting up a hand and cutting her off as he reached for the supply bag. He pulled the flashlight from his pocket and turned quickly beginning to walk towards the east where the impala was parked.

She could only stand there stunned, staring off at him as he and the flash light began to fade into the darkness. Tears stung her eyes and she resisted the urge to crumple into a ball and sob uncontrollably. She swallowed her hurt and readjusted her clothing to its proper places before moving slowly after him, keeping a safe distance between them, but near enough so she wouldn't lose him in the darkness. She didn't know how she was ever going to look him in the eye again.


	4. The Sting of Betrayal

**A/N: hey guys! First let me say thanks alot to those of you who reviewed it was much appreciated and I hope you keep reviewing and that I finally picked a time setting for the story!! Its the beginning of season three as the story continues you'll know just where in season three its set!!...now...some of you...or most of you may get mad at me for what happens in this chapter but just know that it is important for the plot and such!! okay? So dont throw too many stones and if you do please give me some warning so I can put some protective equipment on!...now...read...and review...just be gentle with me okay? lol**

**PS: There is smuttyness in this chapter...but I think thats what you guys want anyway so be pleased...**

**PSS: I will also being exploring Alex's character past more in the next chapter so you guys can get a better sense of who she is, why she hunts, and how she met up with the boys mkay? Plus the plot will begin to develop more but there will still be the smuttyness there of course. **

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"Damn, Alex," Sam sighed through clenched teeth. "These are going to need stitches."

"Great," Alex replied sarcastically feeling her eyes start to water. "Just freakin' great."

"Have you ever had stitches before?" he asked catching her gaze in the bathroom mirror.

She shook her head, running a hand through her dark waves. "No, I haven't…"

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Well it's gonna hurt like hell I'll tell you that. Maybe we should take you to the hospital so they can numb it up for you…"

She sighed and wiped at her eyes. She felt numb as she leaned against the bathroom counter, her shirt pulled up to just below her bra exposing the four jagged claw marks on her lower back. The wendigo had gotten her good, even though she hadn't felt the wounds at the time of the attack. She had asked Dean to look at the wounds for her once they made it back to the room safely and explained what happened to Sam, but he had only replied "Have Sam to do it" coldly without even looking at her as he turned on the television and plopped down on his bed. The words had stung her and she turned away him from quickly before he could see the tears welling in her eyes. He hadn't talked to her the whole way back to the impala or on the drive back to the motel. And she still didn't understand why he was so angry. Sam had offered to do it before she even had to ask and took her to the bathroom, shutting the door and lifting her shirt.

"No hospital," she said shaking her head and looking at him over her shoulder. "Just do it, Sam."

"Alex, you don't understand it's gonna hurt-," he replied looking at her with those big puppy dog eyes. She could see the concern there and was appreciative of it, but she didn't care about the pain. She felt numb on the inside, numb and vulnerable and maybe the pain would take that away.

"Sam, just do it already!" she ordered with a look of determination.

He hesitated taken aback by her outburst, before he nodded and straightened. "Take off your shirt and pants. You don't want to get anymore blood on them, put on some sweats or something. And put your hair up, you don't want any getting in the wound. I'll get the whiskey and aspirin," he said opening the bathroom door and stepping out.

She sighed heavily as he shut the door after himself and began removing her clothes with shaky hands. _I'm such an idiot. Telling Dean how I felt like that! God how am I supposed to work with him now when he probably thinks I am some love sick puppy dog? _She thought as she pulled her shirt over her head. _I mean I know he said he cared about me and all but what I said was way beyond just 'caring'. Stupid. Stupid._ She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her hips. She sighed again. _You know what? I am so sick of his emotional roller coaster, one minute he is fine and the next minute he isn't. I can't stand him! Well then fine, screw him. If he wants to ignore me, then I'll ignore him in return._

The bathroom door opened behind her and she turned seeing Sam stepping in. He stopped when he saw her standing in her bra and panties, his face turning beet red as he nearly dropped the supplies in his hand. He immediately turned his back on her and stammered. "I uh…I thought you had changed," he said quickly.

"Sam," she said walking to him. "I know you have seen a girl in her bra and panties before and if you haven't then we seriously need to get you laid. So you can turn around. Hell you have felt me up before, seeing me half naked isn't such a big deal right now."

She put her hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her, looking up at him as he gazed down at her. His eyes moved past her face, traveling down her body to her long legs before rising back up. His body hardened immediately as he gazed at her smooth flesh, and his eyes moved over the curves of her breasts and up to her face. She blushed crimson as she watched his eyes and took the large bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey from his grasp. She opened it and took a long swig grimacing as it burned down her throat. Sam raised an eyebrow at her as she took another long swig, before he handed her two extra strength aspirin and moved to sit down on the toilet seat.

"Go easy alright?" he said looking up at her. "I need you buzzed, not shit faced. I don't want you stumbling around while I'm trying to sew you up."

She nodded and took one longer swig before recapping the bottle and setting it on the long counter. She watched him thread the curved needle with suture and tried to relax as the whiskey spread warmth through her belly. She knew she was going to be buzzed real soon and couldn't help thinking it was a good thing, she didn't want to be sober. She actually wanted to drink until she couldn't remember anymore; she wanted to forget what had happened in those woods, hell she wanted to forget everything that had happened in the past two months.

"Okay," he said rising to his feet as she set the bottle aside and pulled her hair up into a messy bun. "Lean against the sink."

She nodded turning to face the counter right in front of the sink and leaned against it. Sam came up behind her, his body brushing against hers as he set the supplies he needed carefully on the counter and assessed the wounds one more time. She ignored the rush of heat she felt at him being so close and watched his reflection in the mirror. He reached around her and grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol making her whimper as she knew what pain was about to come.

"Just relax alright?" he said running his fingers down her back making her shiver. She closed her mouth so the moaned that welled up in her throat wouldn't escape. "This is gonna hurt though."

She felt him place a washcloth at her lower back and hold it there to catch the liquid. She shut her eyes tightly as she felt him pour some of the cold rubbing alcohol on her back. She felt it trickle down her back a few centimeters above the wound before it made contact and burned with an intensity that made her whole body tense. She gasped in pain and gripped the counter clenching her teeth as she cursed.

"God dammit," she growled. "That fucking burns! Shit, shit, and more fucking shit!"

Behind her Sam chuckled and recapped the bottle watching her squirm as she waited for the burn to die down. He set the bottle back on the counter and grabbed the needle and suture making sure it was threaded properly. Once she stopped squirming and made eye contact with him he held up the needle eyeing her.

"You ready for the first set?" he asked.

"How many am I going to need?" she asked reluctantly turning to look at him over her shoulder.

Sam took in a deep breath looking down at the wounds. "Um…about six…each," he answered truthfully with a shrug.

She moaned pitifully and rubbed her face. "Fine," she sighed. "Just be gentle…it's my first time."

Sam smirked and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I will be…as much as I can," he answered. "Just don't bite your tongue; it hurts more than the stitches. It happened to me my first time."

She smiled in return. "I won't."

Next to them someone cleared their throat and they both turned seeing Dean standing in the open doorway to the bathroom. Alex immediately felt her stomach sink as she locked eyes with him, reaching for a towel to cover her with, feeling embarrassed suddenly. Dean frowned as she pulled the cotton towel up to cover the front of herself and turned his eyes on Sam instead.

"You going to sew her up or feel her up, Sam?" Dean questioned looking at the hand placed on her shoulder, his gaze darkening.

Alex rolled her eyes and sighed cutting Sam off before he could answer. "What the hell do you want Winchester?" she asked angrily reverting back to calling him by his last name which she knew ticked him off. "You are interrupting my healing process jerk."

Dean ignored her statement and took a step towards Sam. "Let me do it, Sammy," he said, holding out his hand for the needle.

Alex shook her head, making the growing fog in her brain intensify. The whiskey had hit her hard and she was now starting to feel its effects. She swallowed hard as she felt herself about to hiccup. "I want Sam to do it," she said slowly gripping the towel tightly.

Dean ignored her comments once again and took the needle and suture from Sam. "I got it, Sam," Dean said with an assured nod, giving Sam a gentle shove toward the door.

Sam hesitated, his eyes on Alex, who sighed in defeat. "It's okay, Sam," she said waving it away, looking annoyed.

He nodded and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him as she turned her eyes back to the mirror and caught Dean gazing at her reflection. Dean moved towards the door and clicked the lock into place before he turned back to her. He took the few steps that it took to reach her and then his body pressed into hers, making her sigh in longing to feel the hardness of him touching her. She resisted the urge to reach behind her and touch him and instead dug her fingers into the cotton of the towel. Her breath caught in her throat as his hands gripped her hips.

"You can let Sammy see you in your bra and panties, but not me?" he asked looking at the towel through the mirror. She sighed as she felt his heavy hand slide around the smooth skin of her stomach and grip the towel, before yanking it from her fingers. She gasped slightly at the abrupt action and turned to face him.

"I have seen and felt parts of you that Sam has never seen…So how is that fair?" he asked huskily leaning down so his lips brushed hers.

She felt her knees begin to buckle in reaction to him being so close and she turned her head away from him before her mouth caught his. He frowned at her. "Dean, maybe you should just let Sam do-."

"Shush," he said making her stop mid sentence. He seemed so tense and angry that she didn't know what to expect. She didn't know what he was thinking or feeling. She only knew that he reacted coldly and now he was trying to stitch her up. _Emotional rollercoaster here we go again!_ She thought. "Turn around," he ordered with a nod looking into her eyes.

She hesitated looking up at him for a moment before he gripped her arm bruising tight and spun her before pressing his body into hers forcing her against the sink. She could see her tan skin turning a deep shade of red as his hand fell to her hip and he leaned down to inspect her wounds. She could feel his warm breath on her skin and it made her wet just to know that he was so close. She shook her head. _No, Alexandra, you aren't going to fall into his trap again remember? No more Dean Rollercoaster of rejection and depression. Just ignore the feelings and move the hell on. _She thought biting her lip. The voice was right. She had played Dean's games long enough and she was done now, she was going to take the bench and let the next bimbo take her place. She could still continue to work with them but her feelings would be pushed deep down where they couldn't bother her anymore and allow Dean to get the best of her. She was going to regret saying those three words to him no more.

"Look Winchester," she said suddenly bold as she looked at him over her shoulder. "Just put the damn stitches in or get out and let Sam do it."

Dean blinked taken aback by her statement, but gave a slight nod. "Fine," he said reaching forward to pinch the first wound together. "Just remember to breathe."

He gave her no more warning or courtesy as he slid the needle through her skin and to the other side making her call out in surprise and pain. She gasped against the counter, gripping it and moaning in pain as he repeated the process over and over again. The buzz she had going on didn't ease the pain as much as she hoped, nor did the aspirin.

"There," Dean said breaking the suture and tying the end for the next one. "One down; three to go."

She sighed heavily, and reached for the bottle of whiskey still on the counter. She opened it quickly and took three long swigs with a grunt. It warmed down her throat as she recapped the bottle and set it aside once more, reaching for the towel Dean had yanked from her and wiping the sweat that had begun to ooze from her pores off of her face. She caught Dean's eyes in the reflection of the mirror and found him regarding her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" she asked irritably turning to look at him.

"Nothing," he replied gripping her shoulder and turning her back around. "I just didn't know you could hit the sauce like that."

She let out a yelp as he begun on the next claw mark through her skin. She gritted her teeth through it, shutting her eyes and clenching her fists as she braced herself against the counter. Soon he was done and the pain dulled to a throb as he rethreaded the needle and prepared to do the next. She immediately reached sluggishly for the bottle and felt her buzz intensifying as she gulped as much down before the burn caused her to stop with a gag.

"Easy there sailor," Dean said with a soft chuckle as he watched her lazily attempt to recap the bottle.

Fog had clouded her brain and she gave up on trying to put the cap back on and set the bottle down on the counter. She looked at him through heavy lidded eyes and huffed. _God he is such an arrogant jerk. _

Dean frowned deeply. "What did you just call me?"

She jumped slightly. "Did I say that out loud?" she questioned slowly.

Dean rolled his eyes and placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her. "You're drunk," he said as if that were the explanation. "Hold still dammit. I am going to start the next one."

She did her best to remain unmoving as he started the next. The pain was not as bad as the first two and she attributed that to her intoxicated state, she watched Dean work through the reflection of the mirror. His eyes were steady and so were his hands as he sewed her up, his teeth biting at his bottom lip in concentration. She couldn't help, but stare at him. It was like looking into the sun, he was so magnificent to look at, but would hurt you in the end. And she had found that out the hard way. _Yeah the really hard way. I tell him I love him and he goes all stoic ice cold Casanova on me, _she thought shaking her head. _God why do I always fall for the commitment challenged ones?_

"Done," he said breaking the thread. "One more to go and then you're done."

She only looked at him through the mirror before turning to him suddenly, angrily. "You know what Dean and I am so sick of you. I hate you actually," she slurred poking him in the chest.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes again before shaking his head. "No you don't Alex. You are drunk and you are saying stuff you don't mean. Now turn around and let me finish-."

"No!" she responded poking him in the chest again, he took a step backward throwing her next intended jab off. She stumbled forward making him catch her so she wouldn't fall. "You boss me around. You say you care about me and then you work your…your…sexual mojo on me and get me all wrapped up in you and the minute that I…I tell you the way I…_really_…feel…about you, you just…walk away."

Dean frowned deeply, his eyes turning dark as he looked down at her. He set her back on her feet and moved away from her. "Alex, don't," he growled.

She was too drunk to care that he was pissed; she had let him get off so easily from telling her his emotions for far too long. She deserved an explanation and wanted one now, even if it meant getting a rise out of him to get it.

"No screw you, Dean," she said poking him again. "I deserve to know what the hell your problem is. I…deserve to…know how you feel about me! You said you cared about me the other night at the bar, was that just a lie? Just some way to get into my pants yet again? Do you think I am stupid?"

Dean's frown turned to a scowl and she saw the way his fists clenched. He took in a deep breath and shook his head. "Alex, I mean it, don't start alright? Now turn around and let me fi-."

"Get out!" she said suddenly pointing to the bathroom door.

Dean hesitated in surprise eyeing her in shock. "Alex, come on you are drunk. I'm not even done yet-."

"I don't care! Get out! I can't even stand to look at you!" she said fighting back the tears that began to well in her eyes. "Get out now!"

Dean frowned angrily, throwing the needle and suture on the counter with a flick of his wrist. "Fine, sew your damn self up then," he said before heading to the door and pulling it open. He slid through and slammed it closed behind him as she leaned back against the sink.

The tears flowed freely down her face and she sank to her knees leaning against the counter as she began to sob uncontrollably. It was like he had driven a knife in her heart and then decided to twist it, she had told him how she felt only to have him walk away and then have the nerve to come and try to play sexy doctor with her.

She was still crying when she heard the bathroom door open and close and felt a warm presence near her. She looked up with red puffy eyes to see Sam standing over her with apologetic eyes as if he already knew. He turned away from her grabbing some toilet paper and held it out to her. Alex sniffled as she reached for toilet paper and wiped at her eyes.

"Let me guess," she said with a small chuckle as she blew her nose. "Dean left huh?"

Sam sighed as he slid gracefully to the floor beside her and wrapped his arm around her. "He's a jerk, Alex," he answered with a sigh, that she took as a yes. "Don't worry about him."

She huffed. "Yeah…I wish it were that easy," she mumbled wiping at her eyes some more. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I keep falling for these assholes when I should be falling for guys like you Sam."

Sam blushed crimson and looked away for a moment. "Dean is just…going through a rough time…" he answered. "This is going to be a big year for him and…there is a lot going through his head."

"I told him I love him, Sam," she admitted looking up at him.

Sam gasped slightly looking at her in surprise. "You…told him what?"

Even he looked like he was ready to get up and walk away; maybe it was a Winchester thing. She shook her head and repeated herself. "I told him I loved him. We were fighting the wendigo…and we got separated…and I was lost and scared and I didn't have my phone and when he found me I was so relieved that I realized some things…and I admitted my feelings to him."

Sam nodded slowly, his eyes on the tiled floor. "And he said…?"

She wiped at her eyes again and tossed the tissue into the toilet. "Nothing, he just walked away. He didn't say anything to me again till we got back here. Really awkward silence ya know? He went back to complete asshole mode and then he came in here like everything was fine and dandy. Like he hadn't…ripped my heart from my chest and made me hate all mankind."

Sam shook his head and wiped his face before looking back down at her. "Alex when it comes to Dean…Love is a word that he hasn't heard often…I think he is just-."

"Don't Sam," she chuckled rising back to her feet, she nearly stumbled but Sam caught her as he rose to his feet. Once she found her footing and was leaned against the sink, holding on to keep herself standing, she looked at him over her shoulder. "Don't make excuses for him…it's not a big deal…Now just finish me up."

Sam obliged her request and reached for the needle. He was a lot more gentle and quicker than Dean had been. She was far past buzzed now though and was having more and more trouble keeping herself from swaying. Sam had to hold onto her shoulder to keep her from falling over. She didn't even make a peep as he finished up the last stitches and wiped the lingering blood clean with a damp wash cloth. He poured more rubbing alcohol over it which barely burned and stepped back. She turned her back to the mirror, looking over her shoulder to see the wounds.

"Good job, Sam," she slurred with a nod as she looked up at him. "I couldn't have done it better."

"You couldn't have done it period," he said with a huff. "Now we should get you to bed Missy. I think you and Jack Daniels have shared a little too much with each other."

He reached out and grabbed the towel wrapping it around her as she began to giggle. "Sammy…I love it when you go all over protective brother on me," she said trying to focus her eyes on him through the fog in her brain. "You're really cute you know that?"

Sam blushed, but shook his head. "Come on Alex, time for bed," he ordered wrapping his arm around her waist.

He slid her into his arms as she giggled some more and wrapped her arms around him lazily. She nuzzled into his neck breathing in his scent, making him hesitate. He ignored the throb he felt in his cock at her being so close and carried her from the bathroom, putting her on her bed gently. She smiled drunkenly up at him as he moved to her duffel bag. He searched through the material until he found a tank and some sweats.

"You going to dress me Sammy boy?" she asked with a chuckle as she took the towel that he wrapped around her and tossed it off the bed. "Most guys try taking my clothes off you know?"

"Come on sit up," he said with a chuckle moving towards her.

"Or maybe you should come down here," she offered with a half wink.

She reached forward and grabbed his hand yanking him down towards her. He landed right on top of her with a grunt, pushing himself up on his elbows immediately so he wouldn't crush her with his weight. She laughed up at him as he tried to get up, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. Sam's whole body tensed above her, he forced the urges that welled up in him down. This was Alex, his friend; she was like his little sister, not to mention he knew that she and Dean were an item of some sort. He wasn't going to interfere with that, even if he was attracted to her as well. They had nearly kissed in the bar which had gotten Dean very angry, if he were to come back and find him on top of her he would surely give him an ass kicking.

"Alex-," he started.

"You know what Sammy," she said cutting him off. "I don't know why I can't fall for a guy like you."

"Alex, come on let me go," he said looking down at her. "I wanna get you dressed and you need to sleep."

She shook her head, looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes. "See, you are so…sweet…and nice…and sexy…and _honest_," she breathed with a hiccup. "You….you don't…play head games…or loop me on some crazy roller coaster of emotion…"

Sam let out a small groan as she brushed his cheek with her fingers. "Alex, please…let me-."

"And that night in the bar," she continued licking her lips. "When we were dancing…"

Sam felt his cock throb again at the memory of her body swaying against his. He had gotten so hard just from feeling the friction of her body rubbing against his that he ended up with a serious case of the blues when Dean tore her away from him. He hadn't told her that of course, it would have been wrong. Although he was sure that she could probably feel it, and he had every intention of kissing her and doing more if she was willing in that moment. But Dean had come and ripped her away from him, and then the two of them had disappeared for two hours before returning with smiles on their faces. From then on the two of them had even stopped fighting and had gotten along. Sam knew what was going on, but he played dumb.

And now with Alex underneath him he was beginning to not care about Dean anymore. He was right between her legs and her fingers were brushing his cheek, her lips looked so full and kissable that he found himself leaning towards her. But he stopped himself; he wasn't going to take advantage of her in his drunken state.

"No," he said more to himself than to her. He reached up to pull her arms from around him. "Alex, stop it. We can't-."

"When we were dancing," she continued, squeezing him tighter as her eyes drifting closed, completely ignoring his protests. "I was so hot, Sam…hot for you... I actually forgot about, Dean…and I wanted you right then and there."

Sam bit his lip as his pants grew unbearably tight. "Alex…"

"And you felt….so _good_ against me," she whispered on biting her lip as she released her hold on him finally and ran her hands down his back making him moan. "Tell me your not like Dean, Sam....at least...you want me right?"

"Alex," Sam said feeling his resolve begin to slip away, he was now fully hard and if she continued there was no way he would be able to stop.

Her eyes opened at the sound of her name and she looked up at him sleepily. She didn't say anything as her hands cupped his face and she lifted her head up to meet him. Her lips were barely an inch from his as she whispered, "Do you want me, Sam?"

Sam felt the walls of his resolve go crumbling down. "Yes, Alex. God yes I want you," he sighed gripping a hand full of her hair and bringing her mouth to his.

* * *

Dean sauntered into the bar with his usual look of determination. He was pissed and irritated and he was going to drown that away with a lot of liquor and maybe a hot chick. He hesitated though when he saw that the bar was completely empty and frowned. Nonetheless he went to bar and sat down on of the stools. _Well liquor will just have to do,_ he thought adjusting his coat on his shoulders. A door behind the bar marked _employees only_ swung open and a young woman walked out wiping her hands with a towel. She jumped in surprise when she saw him, but she recovered quickly.

"What can I get you sir?" she asked moving towards the bar and looking down at him.

"Whatever is going to get me fucked up the fastest?"

The bartender smirked at him, giving him her best dazzling smile and nodded. "Coming right up," she said.

Dean watched the way she sauntered a little ways away and began making his drink, his eyes scanning up from her long legs to her dark black hair. She seemed to have this confidence about her that said she knew she was hot and had no problem using that to her advantage. She was no Alex, but she was damn close. She had the deepest brown eyes he had seen in awhile, and the first thing he had noticed upon seeing her was that she had a great rack. But yet again_ she was no Alex. _She would have been one of the ones he went after it Alex hadn't been in the picture, but Alex was in the picture. Deep in the picture.

He was beginning to get real annoyed with that girl. She had been nothing but trouble the minute she had tagged along with him on Bobby's orders. He knew that it would be a mistake to sleep with her, it would complicate everything but god help him, he loved her full lips and the way her body was curvaceous in all the right places. She made him so hard every time he touched and kissed her, and it was damn hard to resist her. And the minute that he had slept with her she had embedded herself deep with him and refused to be dislodged. He didn't want to get too attached to her since he was going to hell soon so he ignored her after that which only made it worse, then the bar incident happened with her and things seemed to be going smoothly.

_And then she had to go and ruin it with her _feelings_. What the hell? She loves me? She doesn't even really know me! Or that I am going to be in hell in a few months, literally. Besides why does she have to bring love into the picture? How come it couldn't be casual like she said in the car? Why did she have to go and complicate it? _

"Here you go," the bartender said snapping him out of his thoughts.

Dean looked at the double of whatever it was in the glass before taking it all back in one swallow. It burned down his throat just the way he liked it and he savored the burn with a sigh. He recognized the liquid immediately and raised an eyebrow at the girl behind the counter.

"Tequila?" he asked raising the empty glass.

She nodded. "It gets me going the fastest," she replied with a wink.

He smirked. "It's going to take a lot more than this to get me off my feet honey."

She chuckled lightly and leaned across the bar, giving him a clear view of that great rack as she looked at him with her deep brown eyes. "I think I can get you off your feet handsome," she said reaching out to touch his cheek.

Dean blushed slightly and opened his mouth to give her one of his best lines when he stopped himself. _She loves me. Alex loves me. And she admits it to me and I go acting like a jerk. Why? Because I am afraid? Afraid because someone actually cares about me? Why is it such a bad thing? _**Because you are going to hell in eight months you idiot. Push her away, and keep her away that's the best thing you can do. **

"Well I may have to take you up on that sweetie," he replied before he could think twice about it. He had made his decision. He and Alex couldn't be together. It just wouldn't work. "What time are you off?"

She chuckled lightly and looked around the vacant bar. Dean's eyes followed hers and took in the emptiness of the bar. He turned back to her with raised eyebrows as she smirked at him. He watched her move around the bar, shaking her hips as she walked to the entrance of the bar and locked the door. She turned back to him and beckoned him with a finger.

"I'm off right now, sir," she said sweetly.

* * *

Alex's skin was on fire. She was moaning loudly, her back arched and the sheets gripped tightly in between her fingers. She was gasping for air trying to find some kind of release to the pleasure build up rising from between her thighs slowly consuming her. She was drunk with ecstasy, Sam's mouth warm between her thighs; tongue deep, his thumb rubbing against her clit making her call out his name. She didn't know how things had progressed to this, but she damn sure wasn't going to stop him now. She was too drunk to care about the after math of what their actions would bring, it felt too damn good.

"Does that feel good?" she heard him whisper against her thigh, one large hand moving up to caress her stomach.

"Yes, Sam, don't stop please…" she moaned releasing the sheets to grip his brown locks.

He responded with a moan, his tongue sliding over her once more before he was sitting up. He moved quickly over her, his hands shaking as he unbuckled his jeans. She sat up quickly pushing his jacket from his shoulders and yanking his shirt over his head. She smoothed her hands up his toned chest making him groan before he was pushing her back down and thrusting forward. She gasped in pain feeling him stretch her walls before pulling back and surging forward once more.

"Oh my god," she moaned feeling his hands in her hair releasing it from the bun it had been in, as she begun to squirm beneath him as pain turned to pleasure.

He groaned above her capturing her mouth with his and sucking on her tongue. She tasted like whiskey and smelt like wild flowers. She was so tight around him that he had nearly came when he entered her, and it took all his resolve to not. He could feel himself stretching her walls and the way she had begun to whimper made him falter slightly. He slowed his long deep strokes and made them shallow barely sliding an inch into her.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked making her eyes snap open.

"No," she moaned shaking her head. "Please…more."

He surged forward again right to the hilt making her cry out and arch into him. Three more long strokes and she was gasping, digging her fingernails into his back. His gripped a handful of her hair putting his forehead to hers and staring into her eyes as she began to moan louder. He could feel her begin to tremble and knew she was close. He released her hair, his hands gripping her hips as he continued to look into her eyes and yanked her body to meet his going as deep as he could go. She shouted as the orgasm ripped through her making her nearly convulse beneath him. He rode it out continuing the same rhythm until she was squirming beneath him again.

"Sam…please," she moaned closing her eyes and throwing her head back. She came again on the next thrust tightening around him. One more stroke and he was following right behind her, feeling his whole body tense up before it roared through him and he spilled himself into her. He collapsed on top of her, both of them breathing heavily, bodies still tingling.

He rolled from atop her, lying right beside her as they both looked up at the ceiling, hearts pounding. A sick wave of guilt washed over Alex sobering her up completely, and she sat up with a small gasp pulling the sheet up to cover her body. _What the hell have I done?_ She thought avoiding eye contact with Sam as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and reached for her bra and panties. She felt numb as tears welled in her eyes and she heard Sam sighing behind her. She knew he was thinking the same thing, what the hell had they just let happen? How would they tell Dean? What would Dean think? _God this is so screwed up_, she thought.

"Alex," came Sam's voice from behind her, it was low and thick with the shame she was feeling. She turned slowly, catching those big puppy dog eyes and seeing the pained look on his face. "I…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have let that happen."

She shook her head quickly rising to her feet, pulling the sheet with her and wrapping it around her body. "No, Sam…it was me…I…just please don't tell Dean, okay?" she said feeling tears well in her eyes.

He didn't get the chance to respond before she was running to the bathroom shutting the door behind her with a small slam. He sat up slowly running a hand through his hair and trying to shake the feelings of guilt that had immediately washed over him once the ecstasy left his brain. He didn't know why he didn't resist her, why he hadn't forcefully removed her arms, gotten her dressed and put her to bed. She had just stood there and taken the blame, but he had been the one to kiss her.

_Do you want me, Sam? _Those words had sent an unimaginable fire through him and the next thing he knew he was kissing her as she rubbed his erection through his jeans. She felt like heaven in his arms and her skin was unbelievably soft against his, it had been so long since he had felt something like against him. Not since Madison or Jessica. He wanted to feel every inch of her, kiss her, touch her, and taste her. When his mouth finally slid down and he had finally tasted her she moaned his name with such passion that he knew there was no way he was going to be able to stop even if he wanted too.

Now there was the after math to deal with, the shame, the guilt, and where to throw the blame? He rose to his feet grabbing his jeans and boxers, pulling them on as he shuffled to the bathroom knowing he should try and comfort Alex. He knew that she would still feel guilty no matter what he said, but knew that he should still try. He pressed his ear to the door, hand on the doorknob, listening as she started the shower. He was turning the knob when he heard the first sob and the sound of porcelain hitting porcelain as she plopped down on the toilet seat. The sobs continued harder after that making Sam pull his hand away from the doorknob and move toward the couch where he would be sleeping that night, it was Dean's turn to take the other bed in the room.

He didn't know when Dean would be coming back, but he knew that he and Alex both would have trouble looking him in the eye. _Just please don't tell Dean, okay?_ He didn't know how long she had intended to keep it from Dean, but he knew that it would come out eventually. And there would be some hell to pay.

When she came out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, Sam was still on the couch pretending to be asleep to save her the guilt of having to face him. She didn't try to wake him or say anything to him as she turned off the light and climbed into her bed. Neither of them fell asleep for a long time; Sam just lay awake in the darkness listening to the sounds of her sobs.

* * *

Dean awoke to the sound of an alarm, shrill and beeping right next to his ear. It made him groan and curse as the pounding and pain in his head intensified. The sun light stung his eyes as he tried to open them slowly feeling the weight of the bed shift and a warm arm reach across him to make the sound stop. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, opening them to find the dark haired bartender from the night before staring down at him with a smirk. He looked at her with a squint, trying his damned hardest to remember her name. He couldn't.

"Morning, Dean," she said smoothing her hand up his bare chest.

"Morning…er…sweetheart," he said quickly sitting up on his elbows and looking around her bedroom.

It was bright and sunny in the room, their clothes strewn across the floor. He didn't remember much of the night before except that there had been a lot of booze and a lot of sex. Sex that wasn't with Alex. _Shit,_ he thought, _how the hell am I going to explain this late night out?_ He had decided that he wasn't going to be with her, but he didn't want to hurt her like this. _Don't tell her then, she can't hurt if she doesn't know and she can't skin you alive either. _He rubbed at his face as he sat up completely and reached for his nearest article of clothing which happened to be his boxers. Bartender girl moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Off so soon?" she asked softly biting the lobe of his ear.

_Here we go with the awkward goodbyes. _"Yeah, my brother will be looking for me if I don't get back," he answered with practiced ease. He dodged out of her grasp with enough grace that wouldn't hurt her feelings and pulled his boxers on. "I…uh had fun though."

He avoided eye contact with her as he slid on the rest of his clothes and then sat to pull on his boots. She rose from the bed pulling on a silk robe and moved to stand before him as he looked down at his watch and saw that it was only seven in the morning. He frowned he hadn't been up that early in a long time.

"Are you going to be in town much longer?" she asked making him look up at her.

He shook his head. "Nah, we're leaving tonight," he answered seeing the way her face fell.

She nodded slowly. "Oh okay…well… you'll call me right?" she asked perking up slightly as he rose to his feet.

"Of course," he said with a forced smile planting a kiss on her cheek. "This way to the front door right?"

He moved past her exiting out of her bedroom as she trudged behind him and met him at the door. He pulled open the front door quickly wanting to avoid any more awkward encounters and stepped through before she grabbed his arm. He turned back to her and tensed when her mouth caught his, kissing him deeply before she pulled back and looked him in the eye.

"Thanks for the good time," she said with a small wink. "I won't forget you, Dean."

_God, what the hell is her name? Ashley…Cindy….Samantha…._He looked around behind her quickly seeing if there were something in the vicinity that might have her name on it and found nothing. _Baby it is_. "I won't forget you either, baby," he said with a smirk. "See ya."

He moved towards the stairs quickly feeling her eyes on him as he reached the bottom floor and headed for the parking lot. He found the impala right where he had parked it the night before, he unlocked the door sliding in carefully. He sighed deeply wondering just how in the hell he was going to explain this to Alex, and get rid of his pounding headache. He looked up into the rearview mirror catching his bloodshot eyes before noticing the dark marks on his neck.

"Shit," he groaned, turning his head to expose his neck in the reflection and seeing two dark hickeys on the side. _There goes the 'I slept in the impala' lie. _He sighed. _Well what difference does it make? You decided last night that you weren't going to be with her, so this is exactly what she needs to see so she can move on. _Dean's gut wrenched at the thoughts, but he put the impala in reverse and pulled her out of the spot. _Alex is going to kill me._


	5. The Truth Hurts

**A/N: Hey Guys!! Thanks again for the reviews to feed the muse within me!! I know I said I was going to dive more into Alex's past in this chapter...but it didnt work out that way unfortunately. Next chapter I will though. She is long over due for a background check haha**

**Also there is no smuttyness in this chapter :( But there will be more... I promise. There was just no room in this chapter. **

**Let me know what you think please as usual! Enjoy!!**

**oh and I am in desperate need for a beta for this story so if anyone is interested PM me. Okay? Thanks!**

* * *

"Alex! Alex, wake up."

She groaned as Sam's voice infiltrated her brain and brought her to consciousness. Her back was killing her and her head was pounding, making her groan again in pain as she tried to open her eyes. She couldn't, her eyelids felt like they each weighed a ton. She felt warm hands on her arms and she forced her eyes open slowly seeing Sam's big brown eyes gazing down into hers. He looked scared and concerned which made her panic slightly; he was sitting on the bed beside her both hands on her arms as if he had been shaking her.

"Sam? What's wrong?" She asked, her throat hurt terribly and her voice was hoarse.

"Thank god," he sighed reaching up to caress her cheek. "You scared the hell out of me."

She blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"You're bleeding," he answered. "A lot."

She gasped slightly, urging her body to sit up quickly. She did with a lot of effort and nearly fell back down; Sam wrapped his arm around her pressing her body into his to keep her up. Her eyes fell on the once white sheets that were now stained burgundy red with her blood. Her eyes went wide and she reached for her back, the minute her fingers made contact with her sticky shirt she hissed in pain.

"Sam…what the hell happened?" she asked looking at him.

"You must have popped some stitches," he answered. "Lie down, let me see."

She did as she was told, lying face down carefully. Her head was still pounding and she felt a weak. She could feel Sam's hands grip her tank top and he moved to lift it up when she let out a yelp.

"Crap," she heard Sam sigh. "Your tank is stuck to your wounds by the dried blood. We are going to have to redo these. We need to get you in the shower that is the only way we are going to get this shirt off of you with minimal amounts of pain. If we wet it, it will come off easier than if I yank it and reopen the wound that way."

She sighed. The wendigo hunt repercussions just kept adding up. "Okay," she replied sitting up slowly.

He rose to his feet helping her to the bathroom. She sat down on the toilet as he turned on the shower and let the water warm. Her forearms were covered with her dried blood and she could feel her clothes sticking to her back. Her memories of the night before were hazy, and she didn't know how she had popped the stitches, but she knew now that it hurt worse than they had the night before. Her head was still pounding and she figured she had a bad hangover.

"Come on," Sam said taking her hands and pulling her to her feet. "Let's get these pants off."

She blushed crimson as his hands fell to her hips and the minute his fingers gripped the material and began to slide them down her hips memories flashed through her brain.

_Alex's skin was on fire. She was moaning loudly, her back arched and the sheets gripped tightly in between her fingers. She was gasping for air trying to find some kind of release to the pleasure build up rising from between her thighs slowly consuming her. She was drunk with ecstasy, Sam's mouth warm between her thighs; tongue deep, his thumb rubbing against her clit making her call out his name. She didn't know how things had progressed to this, but she damn sure wasn't going to stop him now. She was too drunk to care about the after math of what their actions would bring, it felt too damn good._

_"Does that feel good?" she heard him whisper against her thigh, one large hand moving up to caress her stomach._

_"Yes, Sam, don't stop please…" she moaned releasing the sheets to grip his brown locks._

She gasped in surprise making Sam stop and look down at her. "What's wrong?"

"Oh my god, Sam," she said quickly feeling her eyes begin to water again. "We had sex last night?"

Sam hesitated, his cheeks flaming red as he looked down at her. "Alex…please don't beat yourself up about it. I know it was a heat of the moment kind of thing…"

She felt tears come down her face as the rest of the memories came back in a wave. She had tossed and turned all night long having nightmares about Dean's reaction to their betrayal after she had cried herself to sleep. It didn't matter that it had happened as a heat of the moment kind of thing, nor did it matter that it probably meant nothing, she was still ashamed and guilty. And judging from the look in Sam's eyes he felt the same.

"Alex, don't cry," Sam said softly as he straightened and his arms went around her gently avoiding her wounds. "It's…going to be alright."

"Sam, Dean is going to kill us," she sobbed into his chest, soaking his t-shirt with her tears. "How could I let that happen?"

Sam pulled back looking into her eyes, shaking his head. "Alex, stop it," he said almost sternly. "Yes he is going to be pissed, but you know what?"

"What?" she asked wiping at her eyes.

"Who gives a rat's ass?" Sam replied. "We'll deal with it later alright? He never even came back last night and he's not here now. Now come we have to get you cleaned up and the wounds re-stitched before they get infected okay?"

She wiped at her eyes again and nodded slowly. "Okay, but I think I want to go to a hospital Sam. This really hurts," she whispered wincing as she reached back to touch her back once more.

Sam grabbed her hand again, holding it firmly. "Okay, but stop touching it. I'll call Dean and tell him we need to take you in. Just hop in the shower."

She nodded and he stepped out of the bathroom, grabbing his cell phone. He shut the door quietly and dialed Dean's number, cursing when it went straight to voicemail. It was unusual for his phone to be off, Dean always had it on unless it died. Sam felt a pang in his gut, his first thought when he woke up and found Dean's bed empty was that he had gone out, gotten shit faced and woke up in some chick's bed, but he still would have his phone on. _He's fine. He probably just forgot to charge it again. _Sam thought shaking his head.

"This is Dean. Leave a message."

"Dean, it's me. Alex popped her stitches. I'm going to take her to the ER. Remember that hospital we saw on the main road? Meet us there. Hurry up dude," he said quickly before hanging up.

He dialed 411 and got a number to a cab company near by. He was told one would come in twenty minutes and Sam quickly changed his clothes while Alex finished showering. She came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam moments after he pulled his shirt over his head and slipped on his coat. She had changed into jeans and a tank that she had tucked into her bra so it wouldn't touch the wound and her hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail. Her skin was still pale from the loss of blood. She looked around the room expectantly and frowned at Sam, he already knew who she was looking for and spoke before she could ask.

"He's not here. His phones off too. I don't know where he is. I called a cab," he answered putting his cell phone in his pocket. As if on cue, a car horn honked outside. "That must be them."

Alex hesitated a moment, her eyes ticking to the clock on the wall. It was nearly nine. "Do you think he is in trouble?" she asked walking to the bed and slipping on her shoes. "Should we go looking for him?"

Sam shook his head. "Let's take care of you first. While you get stitched up I can worry about Dean."

* * *

_You just are going to have to tell her. What's the worst that she can say? You aren't her boyfriend or anything. She will understand… she will be beyond pissed, but she will understand. You two aren't tied together._

Dean sipped his coffee and let those thoughts comfort him. The little voice in the back of his head was right. He and Alex weren't together and he had never once promised to be faithful to her. _But she loves me, god dammit she loves me._

He gritted his teeth and took a bite of his cold bacon, chewing slowly as he looked around the diner. He knew it was early and he was dog tired and hung over, but he wasn't ready to face Alex just yet. He hadn't come up with a good explanation for the hickeys on his neck and wasn't sure that there was anyway he could get around not being honest with her. One part of him wanted her to see and get angry, that way she would leave him the hell alone, save her a lot of heartache in the next months. While the other part of him wanted to scrub the skin off of his neck viciously so she would never know the acts he had committed and not be angry. He didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to see the look in those green eyes that said 'how could you?'.

Sighing he pushed his empty plate away and rubbed his eyes. "Quit being a wimp and just go back to the motel, Dean," he said to himself softly looking down at his watch. It was almost ten. He had been sitting in the diner thinking of what he was going to do for hours. Alex and Sam would be worried about him.

He followed his own orders and slid out of the booth, pulling out his wallet and dropping some bills on the table. He exited the diner, walking to the impala and pulling out his phone to check for missed calls. The screen was completely black and Dean hit the end button to try and turn it on only to find that his cell had died.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled climbing into the impala and turning her on.

The drive back to the motel was only five minutes from the diner, and he hesitated as he parked the impala and turned her engine off. His eyes glanced back up to the rearview mirror, eyeing the evidence from his encounter with the bartender chick. _She is going to kill me, she is never going to want to speak to me, and she won't love me anymore._ He climbed from the impala, shutting the door behind him as he walked to the motel room. His hand hesitated on the knob after putting his key in, hesitating as he turned it and the locks didn't click. Why wasn't the door locked? Sam always knew to keep the door locked, Alex did too.

He reached into his back pocket, pulling out his colt 1911 before pushing the door open quickly. The room was empty, both Sam and Alexis gone. He frowned stepping into the room slowly as he gazed around. When his eyes fell on Alex's blood soaked bed his gut caved in and his heart sank. _Oh my god. Is that blood?_ He thought rushing to the bed and touching sheets, some of it was dried and some of it was still fresh, leaving smears of it on his finger tips. _Oh my god, she's dead. Alex is dead and I was out screwing around all night. Shit. _

He reached into his pocket pulling out his phone and cursed when he remembered it was dead. He was rushed to the wall where his charger was still plugged in and connected it to the phone, holding down the power button. He waited impatiently as the phone turned on cursing underneath his breath until it was fully powered and immediately alerts began to pop up. There were 3 new voicemails and five texts from Sam. He didn't bother opening them, he dialed his brother's number quickly and put the phone to his ear, Sam answered on the second ring.

"Dammit Dean, where the hell are you?"

"What the hell happened, Sam? Where's Alex? Is she okay? Please tell me she is alive," Dean replied ignoring his brother's question. His heart was still pounding in his chest.

"She is alive," Sam answered with a sigh. "She popped her stitches last night because she was tossing and turning; she even opened the cuts deeper making them bleed out. I brought her into the ER. She's a little weak from the blood loss, but the doctors are redoing her stitches and she should be fine with a little rest. Did you get my voicemail?"

Dean bit his lip, hard, nearly hard enough to make it bleed. His gut was still rocking, and he felt sick and ashamed. _Tossing and turning. She was probably doing that because of me. _He could imagine her lying in bed waiting for him to return, having nightmares of him with another girl which made her toss and turn as she slept, opening her stitches and creating a pool of blood beneath her. She could have bled to death if it was really bad and it made him feel terrible. He would have never got to tell her….

"What hospital?" Dean asked.

"Go about 15 miles down the main road, you can't miss it," Sam replied.

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Dean left his cell phone on the charger, rushing from the motel room and slamming the door shut behind him. He climbed into the impala starting the engine with a loud rumble and speeding from the parking lot. He sped down the main road, cursing at every stop sign and red light. His heart was pumping in his chest and his gut still felt as if he was going to puke. He needed to see her, had to know that she was okay. Seeing her blood on the sheets and knowing that she was hurt had hurt him more than he thought it would.

He parked in the first parking spot he saw not caring who or what it was for and rushed into the ER waiting room immediately find Sam's tall form sitting in the corner. Sam jumped up when he saw Dean, his cheeks turning red immediately. Dean ignored it and looked around.

"Where is she?" he asked once he reached Sam. "Is she okay?"

"Dean, calm down she's- is that a hickey on your neck?" Sam questioned leaning in and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes Sam, it is, but that isn't really important right now damn it," he said making Sam blink in surprise. "I'm going to the window. I want to see her."

He moved away from Sam who remained where he was standing and went to the window gazing in at the nurse. When the small brunette looked up and saw him her eyes brightened immediately and she smiled. Dean was used to this reaction and ignored it. He demanded to see Alex and after the nurse found out who he was talking about she buzzed him into the back.

"Third curtain to your right," she said pointing him down a long hallway.

"Sam, I'm going back, wait here," Dean said loudly catching his brothers eyes before turning down the hallway.

* * *

Alex was sitting on the hospital gurney, her back still numb from the anesthetic. They had just finished her up and told her to wait in her "room" to be discharged. She was still a little weak and tired from the blood loss, but she knew she would be fine. She heard quick footsteps coming down the hall and expected it to bed the doctor to discharge her, but instead she found Dean standing there looking concerned and terrified. She felt her eye widen in surprise and then he was moving forward.

His arms wrapped around her, pulling her upward and against his body as his hands slid up to her hair. His mouth came crashing down on hers, rough and hard at first until it softened and his tongue slid into her mouth making her moan. She was too surprised to push him away or do anything, but kiss back. There was so much fire and passion in the kiss, more so than any other that they had shared, that she was in shock. When he filled pulled away looking deeply into her eyes she felt like fireworks had just erupted within her. He still held her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks to make her face tingle.

"Dammit, Alex," Dean said softly as he shook his head. "I was so scared when I got back to the motel and saw your bed covered in blood…I thought you were dead…I thought…"

He trailed off, his voice trembling, making her whole face drop in shock. _He cares about me, _she thought, _he really cares about me…and he's probably just now realizing it. _

"I love you too," Dean blurted making her eyes go wide. "I know that now."

His mouth was back on hers before she could reply, kissing her deeply as his arms hugged her gently to his body. She felt her heart explode in her chest at his admittance and tears stinging her eyes as he kissed her. Finally the only words she had wanted to hear in return being said to her. She could have jumped for joy, but she didn't. She knew that she was going to have to tell him what had happened between her and Sam. If he found out any other way he would be devastated, more than actually knowing what had happened.

"Alex," Dean whispered pulling his mouth away, his forehead pressing against hers as he looked deeply into her eyes. She shivered from his gaze, still panting from his kiss. "Please…forgive me…"

"For what?" she replied looking confused.

"I…I…" he shook his head pulling back from her and that's when she saw it. The dark red marks on his neck, unmistakable hickeys that proved just where he had been all night long. She felt her gut sink deep down within her and a sickening feeling washed up in her throat. Tears hit her eyes again, this time falling freely down her face. _He slept with someone else…_ she thought. _And I'm no better because I did too…with his own brother…_

"It's okay," she said quickly reaching up to touch his face. "I'm not mad…I can't be…"

He looked back down at her in surprise, already knowing that she knew exactly what he was going to admit and surprised that she was okay with it. She looked up into his eyes and he could see shame and guilt in the emerald irises, her cheeks flushed immediately and Dean remembered the look on Sam's face when he had waked into the ER waiting room. It was the same as he was receiving now and he felt anger rising up in him.

"No," he said pulling away from her completely as he gathered his own conclusions about just why she couldnt be mad. She had slept with someone too, someone really close to him. "You didn't. Tell me it isn't true."

Alex broke down into tears and put her head in her hands and Dean's jaw clenched. His hands tightened into fists and he felt tears stinging his own eyes. "My brother, Alex?" he said quickly, his voice laced with anger and hurt. "My _brother_? How…how could you do that? How could the both of you do that?"

She lifted her head, tears streaming down her face like little rivers. "Dean…I'm so sorry…It didn't mean anything…I was drunk-," she started reaching for him.

Dean huffed stepping out of her reach which made her freeze. "I can't believe you…" he said softly shaking his head. The disgust and anger in his voice was almost to much to bear. "Stay the hell away from me."

The words made her flinch as if she had been shot and he turned before he let his feelings for her get the best of him. His own tears began to fall down his face as he stalked back down the hallway and into the waiting room. Sam rose to his feet again when he saw him, his own face falling as Dean came closer to him. Dean knew that Sam already knew just from the look on his face.

"Dean…dude…I'm sorry-," Sam started.

Dean brought his fist back, pushing it forward to collide with his brother's face so hard he felt the way Sam's nose crunched as his fist made contact. It made him feel good to hear Sam's grunt of pain, watching his younger brother stumble backwards and fall on his back. Everyone else in the waiting room gasped, their eyes wide as they gazed at Dean. Dean remained unmoving as he looked down at Sam who lay on the ground, holding his nose blood pouring out in-between his fingers. Sam's eyes said he was sorry and Dean knew he was, but it didn't change a thing. He turned away from Sam without a word, storming out of the waiting room, leaving Sam to watch him go in shock.


	6. The Secrets We Keep

**A/N: Hey guys!! Sorry about the little lull I was experiencing some writers block with this story. But I am back with an update for my faithful readers!! Yippie!! Now unfortunately for you guys this chapter is strictly _informational_. Meaning that I go over the aftermath of Dean finding out, give you Alex's background, and also she finds out about Dean's deal (uh oh!! *cue dramatic music here*) so that means that there is NO SMUT :(....**

**Hey! Wait! Stop...where you going?! Come back...move the mouse away from the little X button in the corner...dont close the window when I'm talking to you!! JK**

**But Seriously there is no smut....but come to my little crossroads and I will make a deal with you...if you promise to read and review I will provide some wonderful smut filled deliciousness for the next chapter. Sound good?? It does? Well Great!! And uh I dont kiss strangers so lets just take each others word for it alright?? Awesome!! Now enjoy the read and remember our deal!**

* * *

"You sure this is something you and the boys can't fix?"

Alex foolishly let her eyes drop back to the side view mirror, watching the boys and the impala fade into the distance as she and Bobby sped off down the road. _There's nothing for you back there,_ she told herself. _Just a hunk of metal and two men that you don't even know anymore. _She sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she turned her eyes to her Uncle Bobby and offered a small hint of a smile. She hadn't told him what had really happened between her and the boys; she didn't want him to know that she had let them get the best of her like that. Especially when he had specifically warned her about getting _too_ involved with the boys before she had even left with them. She had just merely stated that she was sick of being with two men constantly and wanted to move back home and take a breather from hunting. Bobby had come to pick her up within the hour and she didn't bother trying to say her goodbyes to Dean, who hadn't even spoken to either of them since he stormed out of the hospital. He almost looked hurt when she stated aloud that she was leaving and not coming back, but still said nothing. She hugged Sam goodbye and told him to stay in touch and then climbed into Bobby's Nova and buckled in.

"Yeah, I just want to go home and take a break," she said with a nod. "I think that's best Uncle B."

He only stared at her for a moment before shrugging and looking back at the road. "If you insist, Alexandra. You know I love having you at the house."

Bobby Singer wasn't really her Uncle, not by blood anyway. He had been her father's closest friend for over twenty years and had taken Alex in when her father passed away and she had no where else to go. She owed him everything, and loved him like an Uncle even though he was not a blood relative.

Alex came from a long line of hunters. Her father, Alexander Sheppard, was a hunter; and his father and so on and so on. She was the first and only girl born into the Sheppard line, and was an only child. Her father had saved her mother, Sarah Burrows, from a poltergeist and they fell in love. Her mother went out on the road with her father to be his companion even though she did not hunt and even though she got pregnant with Alex she still couldn't convince Alexander to settle down. Alexandra had lived on the road all her life and even though her mother didn't want her only daughter to be a hunter, Alex felt as if it were in her blood. Her father began training her at a young age and she had an immediate knack for it. She loved to hunt with him and even though it worried her mother to death, she felt that it was her purpose. Her father meant the world to her, he was everything that she could classify as a hero and he loved her more than she could have ever known. She wanted to be a great hunter like him some day. She wanted to save the world.

When her mother was killed by a demon when she was ten, she didn't expect her father to handle it so well. Of course he was distraught by it and blamed himself, but he remained the same man she knew. He was proud, brave, loving, and strong and he didn't let her mother's death break him. It only made him stronger and he hunted down the demon with a vengeance. He brought her to Bobby's after that and asked if she could stay with him for a month or two while he hunted the demon down. Bobby reluctantly agreed and even though Alex didn't want too, she stayed. She and Bobby grew close in that time and she willingly learned anything he had to teach. Two months went by with no sign of the demon and her father returned for her, taking her back out on the road with him. _Well get him, baby girl_, he promised as they sped down the back roads. _I promise your mother's killer will go back to hell. _

He captured the demon by the time she was thirteen and brought her to the exorcism. She remembered standing before the demon that was inside a young man, black eyes staring at her as she held her fathers hand tightly.

"_This is him, Alex," _her father had said through clenched teeth_. "This is the demon that took your mother away from you. And now you are going to send it back to hell where it belongs."_

That was the first time she ever exorcised a demon, and it had terrified her even though she had killed vampires, and chupacabras, and werewolves before. She hated demons from then on, and tried avoiding them like the plague. She knew they existed, but she hated them with a passion and wanted nothing to do with them. If she came across them on a hunt she exorcised them of course, but she didn't doing it. It scared the hell out of her for some reason.

Her father was diagnosed with prostate cancer when she was fifteen. He deteriorated quickly, leaving him bedridden and unable to take care of himself alone with six short months. She stayed by his side, taking care of him and working two jobs to be able to pay the rent so he could be in one safe place. He refused treatment for the cancer saying that if it was his time to go then there was nothing they could do about it. When things got real bad she called Bobby, when he arrived Bobby promised to take care of her after her father was gone. She refused to believe that her one and only hero was going to die, but he passed the next morning. She had never felt so alone in her entire life.

She went to live with Bobby after that. She was withdrawn for the first few months, wanting nothing to do with hunting or schooling, staying inside of her room for days on end and barely eating. Bobby didn't push her too do much, knowing that she was in pain, but he did force her to eat. When the day finally came that she walked out of her bedroom, dressed in regular clothes and a hint of a smile on her face, Bobby was shocked. She told him that she was a little better now and she wanted to get back out there and save people. She lived and hunted with him until she was eighteen, before Bobby got her a car and she went out on her own. She always came back for holidays and their birthdays to celebrate with him so he would not be alone, and called him at least once a day to let him know that she was alright.

He had hooked her up with the Winchesters a little after her twenty-sixth birthday, telling her that she could help them with the things that got out through the Devil's Gate. She was reluctant to work with them, because after all they had been the ones to let the gate get open and that of course meant they were stupid, and they were just as reluctant to work with her, but Bobby insisted. _She can help you Dimwits,_ he told them. _Especially with Dean's impending problem._ She didn't know what Dean's 'impending problem' was and didn't ask. She merely followed her uncle's orders and went along with the boys.

_Worse mistake of my life_, she thought gazing at the trees that whipped by. _I hate men. _

* * *

"Dean, she loves you."

"Sam, shut up."

"No, you are being an idiot right now. You slept with someone too."

"I didn't sleep with her sister. And don't think you are off the hook little brother, you have at least three more punches to the face coming before I can even think of forgiving you."

"Hit me all you want, Dean, but you are making a big mistake. She was drunk okay? And I was…well I was horny alright so we ended up doing it-."

"Sam, please shut the hell up. I don't want to hear this."

"And it was just a heat of the moment thing and we _both_ feel **terrible**about it alright."

"Sam-."

"And now you are going to let her go, knowing that she loves you. Not like. Not hate. Not semi-okay with being in your presence. She _loves _you. Very much."

"Sam, I swear-."

"AND if you let her go, Dean, you are an idiot. She loves you for Christ sake and she knows damn near everything about you except that you are going to hell- which we both should have told her by now anyway- but just think about how she will feel if you die and this is how you ended things. Do you really want this to be the end of it?"

"Sam. Stop it."

"Do you?"

"Sam, just shut up."

"Dean, do you really want this to be the way you spend your last months on earth? Knowing that there is a girl out there who _loves_ you and wants to be with you and you are avoiding throwing her away because of a mistake that you _also_ made?"

The tires of the Impala screeched as Dean swerved off the road and parked on the side making Sam's entire body jerk to the side and smash into the door. He groaned in pain, but didn't get the chance to even recover before the car was in park and Dean was climbing out. He walked quickly around the other side, yanking the car door open and snatching Sam from inside before shoving him against the side of the Impala. Dean's face was a mask of fury and his hazel green eyes burned with anger.

"Yes, Sam I know she loves me okay? And no I don't really want to spend my last few months on earth alone, but she hurt me okay?! There I said it. She hurt me and you hurt me and I can't look her in the eyes anymore, because I am just as bad! It's not just about what she did; it's about what we both did! I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to hurt her. Nor do I want to break her heart even more by forgiving her and spending these last few months with her and then just dying on her!! How great is she gonna feel after that? Huh?!"

Dean released him with an angry sigh and shook his head. "This is what's best, Sam. It's not just because she slept with you or because I am afraid for her to love me," he admitted with water brimming his eyes. "I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hold her in my arms at night and know that in eight months I am going to be rotting in hell and she is going to be up here alone with a broken heart. I don't want her to fall even more in love with me which will only make it hurt more in the end for the both of us. So just leave it alone alright? _Please just leave it alone_."

Sam watched him move around the car and climb back inside the driver's seat with a shocked expression. He had no idea that, that was the way that Dean felt which made him feel worse.

* * *

Alex felt blood splatter across her face and she cringed in disgust before shoving the headless body of the vampire away from her and rolling to her feet. She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her face off with a sigh. The blood was warm on her skin, making her feel like her skin was crawling, and she knew that she had only smeared it in with the handkerchief.

"I seriously need to start carrying wet naps," she mumbled to herself, stepping over the body and heading back towards her car.

The job had been an easy one. The vampire was traveling alone and had only killed two people, before she got there. She figured he was a newbie who hadn't found a nest yet and judging from the sloppy killings no one had taught him how to cover his tracks from hunters. He was easy to find and had barely put up a fight which made things easier on her.

It had been four months since she had watched Dean and Sam fade into the distance of Bobby's side view mirror. She didn't hunt for the first two months; she hung around with Bobby and brushed up on research before crying herself to sleep at night and dreaming of Dean. Bobby never questioned her any further on what had happened with the boys, but she knew that he could hear her crying at night. Could see it in her eyes the next morning when they were red and puffy. She decided to start hunting again when the third month rolled around and she decided that she was going to put Dean Winchester in the "Fuck off" file in the back of her mind. She wasn't going to let him break her, hell her father had lost the only woman he ever loved to a demon and hadn't let that break him, so why should she be any different?

She remained at Bobby's when she wasn't hunting; slowly turning back into the old Alex he knew and loved. He purposely didn't tell her anything about the boys and when they called she made sure she left the room while he talked to them. She didn't want to hear or know anything about them. She maintained a vague correspondence with Sam. He would text her every few days with the words "We're alive. Are you?" she couldn't help, but smile and she would always text back with "Yep. And I plan on staying that way. You should do the same." It was nothing more or less than that and she liked it that way. That was just the perfect amount of correspondence that she wanted with them.

When she finally made it back to Bobby's after killing the vampire she found him sitting at the kitchen table, his face blank as he sat with a book open in front of him. She immediately knew something was wrong and felt her stomach sink. _Oh god. Its Dean or Sam. One of them is dead…or both._ She forced her thoughts to the back of her mind and set her bags down.

"Bobby…what's wrong?" she asked.

He turned his brown eyes upward to her and sighed heavily. "I know you don't want to know anything about the Winchester's, but you have to know this. It's Dean."

Her heart shattered in her chest and she immediately broke off into a sob. She couldn't help herself. Pain erupted around her chest and she felt as if she couldn't breathe, as she began to gasp for air in between sobs. She clutched her chest as the tears rolled down her face and Bobby looked at her in bewilderment.

"Alex," he said jumping to his feet and helping her into a chair. "Calm down, he ain't dead yet."

She forced the sobs back down and wiped at her eyes as she looked up at him. "He isn't?" she breathed.

Bobby shook her head. "No, he isn't."

She sighed heavily and tried to calm herself before she was looking back up at him confused. "What do you mean 'yet'?"

She sat quietly as Bobby told her what had happened to Sam and about Dean's deal. She didn't say a word until he was finished and even then she sat silently for the first few minutes. "Dean's…going to die in four months?" she asked slowly looking at him.

Bobby nodded. "Unless we find a way to stop it. This is why they need some help."

"Where are they? I have to see them," she said quickly.

Bobby shrugged. "I will call and find out."

She didn't say another word as she rushed upstairs to her room to pack. She showered quickly and changed her clothes before making sure she had everything and rushing back downstairs with her bags. Bobby was waiting for her with a slip of paper in hand.

"They are at the Conquistador Motel in Massachusetts, room 5, working on a witch case," Bobby informed her. "They don't know you are coming though. So hurry."

She nodded and kissed him on the cheek before taking the address slip and rushing out the door. "Thanks, Bobby!"

She drove straight through the day and the night, stopping only to get gas, use the bathroom, and grab some food or coffee. She stopped once she reached Massachusetts to take a little nap so she wouldn't be completely exhausted and woke up just as night was beginning to fall. She found their motel with minimal amounts of effort, and as she pulled into the parking lot she spotted Dean. He stood outside talking to young looking blonde girl, which made Alex put her foot on the brake.

_This was a dumb idea_, her brain thought as doubt began to fill her. _He clearly he isn't hung up on you anymore, he's already back to his old ways. So just go ahead and turn the car around and go back to Bobby's._ She pulled the gear into reverse and looked over her shoulder to begin backing up when something stopped her. She hadn't come to just to try and patch things up with him; she had come to save him from hell. She didn't want him to die, and if helping him meant knowing that he was sleeping with other people she would have to grin and bear it. She couldn't lie and say she didn't miss him and Sam, or say that she wouldn't be devastated if Dean died, and she hadn't drove all this way for nothing. She turned back to look at Dean and found him standing alone, his eyes on the ground. _Go to him now, he's alone for the moment._

She parked the car quickly and urged her body to climb out before she could hesitate any more. She slammed the car door shut making him look up and moved around the vehicle so he could see her. His eyes went wide at the sight of her and she saw him catch his breath as he looked at her in surprise. She took careful steps toward him as he continued to say nothing. When she finally reached him, she ran a hand through her hair nervously looking up into his hazel green eyes.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" he asked, his shocked expression turning to a frown.

She tried to hide the hurt from her face and swallowed it down. _Remember what you are here to do,_ she told herself. _This isn't about you and him; it's about saving him from the deal. _She crossed her arms defensively and lifted her chin. She wasn't going to allow him to see how much this hurt her.

"Heard you are in some trouble, Winchester," she said noticing the way his frown deepened when she called him Winchester. She did it just to piss him off. "Bobby told me about your deal."

Dean's face fell for a split second, showing her all she needed to see. She realized then that he hadn't wanted her to know, which pissed her off. He was just supposed to randomly die and she would never know it was because he was giving up his life for Sam? The nerve.

"Yeah well Bobby needs to learn to keep his mouth shut," he said angrily, his scowl returning. "And you have no business here so go back to wherever you came from."

She felt her face drop as he turned away from her and began stalking back to room number 5. Anger rose up in her and she rushed forward, grabbing his arm and shoving him into the wall of the motel. She placed her arm across his chest to hold him in place as he looked at her in shock for a moment. He recovered quickly and anger washed over his face, his eyes burning as she looked up at him.

"God damn it, Dean! I didn't drive all the way out here for you to tell me to just go home alright?" she said angrily. "I came here to help you even though you are a selfish, egotistical, hypocrite and also an asshole. You did the same thing that I did, yet I am the only one getting any punishment for it. I said I was sorry and I said it didn't mean anything and I swear to you that both of those things are true. Being away from you for the past four months has been killing me and then I find out that you are going to die?! And you weren't even going to tell me when you know that I freakin' love you? That is beyond selfish, Winchester. To think that I would be okay with you dying and not knowing why or never even being able to say goodbye. That is completely selfish."

His face fell once again as she finished her rant continuing to look up at him. Silence hung in the air around them as she let her words sink in and he only stared at her unable to find anything to say. She felt tears welling in her eyes and pulled away from him, turning her back on him so he would not see. She wiped at her eyes quickly before letting any of them fall. She heard him sigh heavily behind her and she turned back to him with a frown.

"Let's just cut the bullshit alright?" she said suddenly serious as a single tear slid down her face. "I know you're still mad at me and I'm still mad at you, but I don't want you to die. _I want to save you_. So let me."

The pleading in her tone was nearly too much to bear. Dean would be lying if he didn't say that he hadn't missed her and that having her near again made him want to kiss her. He truly thought he would never see her again and here she was, running to his rescue even though he had hurt her the last time he saw her. More proof for what he already knew. _She loves me._ He shook his head. She still couldn't save him, whether he wanted to or not.

"You can't save me," he said softly, his eyes dropping as he pushed himself off the wall. "If I try to break the deal in anyway, Sam drops dead. And I don't want my baby brother dead. So I am going to go to hell for him because I love him and I know he would do the same for me. And I could never completely forgive you for what happened because it was just a little to close to home for me."

She felt her heart sink again and more tears slid down her face. She wiped them away quickly and sighed, she turned to go back to her car, finding her time there completely wasted. She gasped when she felt a hand grab her arm and turn her around. Dean looked pained, as if he was holding something back that was ready to come bursting out of him. She said nothing only stared up at him as he gripped her arm tightly.

"But I love you, damn it," he said quickly as if he were forcing it to come out when it did not want too. "And I don't want you to go."

Alex sighed heavily in relief and felt her heart nearly leap from her chest. She couldn't stop the tears that came streaming down her face, and when Dean opened his arms to her she fell into them. He wrapped his arms around her and he pulled her close allowing her to bury her face in his chest. She forced herself to stop crying and she pulled her head back to look up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dean," she whispered again shaking her head. "I-."

"Stop," he ordered shaking his head, using his hand to wipe away her tears. "Just forget it okay?"

She nodded slowly and sighed again. "What are you going to do, Dean?"

He sighed heavily and his head dropped. "I'm going to die," he admitted looking into her eyes. "I'm going to die for Sam."


	7. The Only One I Want

**A/N: Greetings!! I have returned with another update....now since most of you kept up with your end of the deal I will not steal your souls and send hell hounds after you. Yay. And there is some smuttyness in this chapter so I am keeping up my end as well. So read and let me know what you think as always. There will be more smut next chapter if that is what you wish all you have to do is ask hahahaha! Enjoy!!**

**(sorry if I am a little crazy these days I am a little sleep deprived...good for you guys cause it leaves me time to write of course!)**

* * *

"Sam…I can't breathe!"

"Oh! Sorry!"

Alex let out a hefty sigh as Sam released her, looking up into his big brown eyes with a frown. She had to admit that she had missed them both, including Sam. And although she had seen the way Dean frowned when they embraced she couldn't help but jump into Sam's arms. He was like a brother to her after all; a brother who she thought was dead sexy and had ended up having a drunken one-night-stand with, but still a brother. And Sam seemed to miss her just as much judging by the way he had hugged her so tightly once she had entered the motel room.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that you missed me, Samuel," she said sarcastically giving him a wink.

Sam blushed slightly and shrugged. "I did…probably not as much as Dean here, but I did."

At Sam's words, Dean's own cheeks flamed and he frowned at Sam. Alex chuckled lightly realizing just how much she missed them and how good it felt to be back. She felt like she was home with them and was happy to be in their presence again no matter what she had been telling her self the past four months. She was going to stay by Dean's side even though that meant being prepared for him to die, but she didn't care what he said, she wasn't going to let him die. She would find some way for them to break the deal and leave both Sam and Dean alive.

"Should I go?" Sam asked looking between them and pointing to the door.

Dean and Alex shared a confused glance. "What?" Dean said raising an eyebrow.

"Well I uh…I figured you guys would want…to be alone?" Sam stuttered looking at the both of them.

"Oh..._Oh_…Sam, no stay," Alex insisted grabbing his arm. "I want to hang out with the both of you. Let's order a pizza and watch some pay per view or something. Then tomorrow you guys can fill me in on what I missed these past four months that you dimwits have been alone."

Sam smirked and looked to Dean who shrugged as well, a smirk sliding across his face. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

They ordered two large pizzas one with cheese and one with loads of meat before they ordered a horror movie. Dean and Sam went out for beer while she stayed to take a shower and freshen up from her long drive. She combed her hair and changed into her pajamas just as Dean and Sam returned and they settled down to watch the movie. Dean found a spot on the floor and Sam lay across his own bed, while Alex took over Dean's bed. They laughed at the supposedly horror film while eating their pizza and drinking their bee. And even though s he was having fun she just couldn't stop staring at Dean. She wanted to cuddle with him, wanted to hold him in her arms since she knew that soon he would be gone and she would one day never again get the chance too, but she kept her distance. She was lucky enough that he wanted her to stay and that he was willing to forgive. She didn't want to press her luck.

Midway through the movie when things quieted down Dean rose from the floor and turned off the lamp before climbing onto the bed with her. She didn't say anything as he made himself comfortable on the bed and then pulled her into his arms. She sighed as she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around him. The movie suddenly seemed less interesting as the sound of Dean's heart beating drowned out the noise of the movie with a steady comforting _thump-thump thump-thump_. She closed her eyes and focused completely on the sound, relaxing as she allowed it to soothe her completely. Soon she felt herself drifting off to sleep with the warmth of Dean against her and the steady rhythm of his breathing and his heart filling her ears.

* * *

Alex awoke in darkness, which made her panic slightly because she was afraid of the dark, and when you knew what came out of the dark like she did, she had every reason to be afraid. She instinctively reached underneath the pillow and felt not her usual hunting knife, but a gun instead. She hesitated in surprise and then it all came back to her, she was in the motel room with Dean and Sam and there should be no reason to be afraid.

She blinked a few times allowing her eyes to adjust and soak in as much of the moonlight pouring in from the windows as she could. She must have fallen asleep during the movie because the television was off and there was no sound in the room. She lifted her head slightly and saw a large lump on the other bed, which she assumed was Sam. He was fast asleep, snoring lightly with his back turned to the bed she lay on. Noticing Sam brought her to Dean who was absent from her side which made panic rise up in her at full throttle. She sat up quickly just as she heard the sound of a toilet flushing and then the bathroom door opening. The bathroom light blinded her as she turned to look at him. He was alive and well and had stripped down to his normal black t-shirt and his boxers. She sighed in relief as she realized he was okay and let out a hefty sigh.

He didn't say anything as he shut off the bathroom light and moved towards the bed, retaking his place that he had once been. "You okay?" he asked softly looking concerned as he climbed under the covers with her.

She nodded slowly and lay down beside him, her head resting on his arm. "I just woke up and you were gone. I don't even remember falling asleep," she whispered.

"You and Sammy both passed out on me," he replied with a smirk. "I was just going to the bathroom."

She nodded and sighed again. "I'm just feeling a little panicky knowing that you are going to die soon…Demons lie Dean what if they come to take you before the time they promised."

Dean shook his head. "They won't. The deal was sealed and if they break it Sam dies and I don't go to hell and for some reason it seems like they really want me to go down there so I don't think that will be happening."

She sighed again beginning to play with a loose string on his shirt as she felt his eyes gazing at her through the darkness. Silence hung in the air around them, thick as a blanket as she tried to force the thoughts of his impending death to the back of her mind. She tried to only focus on the fact that she was there with him, but she could not stop the evil thoughts from creeping up from the back of her mind.

"Stop it," he whispered snapping her out of her thoughts.

She released the string she was playing with. "Sorry."

"I'm not talking about the string," he replied. "I see your brain going a mile a minute. Cut it out. We both know how it ends so don't kill yourself trying to figure out some way to stop it. There is no going around it and I'm fine with that."

"Well I'm not," she frowned looking at him. "I'm not fine with the fact that you are going to die in a few months."

"Well it's happening and there's nothing you and I can do about it," he replied softly. "And if you sent me back in time I would just do it again."

She groaned softly in frustration and sighed. _If this is really it then I am just going to have to spend every waking moment I have with him while I can. _"Dean…" she said in a hushed whisper making him look at her.

"Yeah?"

"Can you really forgive me for what happened with Sam?" she asked.

He hesitated, his eyes looking everywhere but at hers for a moment before he shook his head. "No…I can't…just knowing that there was another man inside of you that wasn't me kills me every time I think about it," he admitted. "But I love you and I want to be the only man you want for the rest of your life…even if I am going to hell in a few months."

"You _are_ the only man I want, Dean," she whispered reaching out to caress his cheek. "How can I prove that to you?"

Dean sighed and shook his head, his eyes moving to the ceiling. She waited for some sort of response. He didn't answer; instead he grabbed her by the wrists and placed them both over her head, holding them firmly with one hand. She gasped in surprise, opening her mouth to ask him just what the hell he thought he was doing when he kissed her.

His kiss was hard and bruising, right down to her very soul. She tried to move her arms, but he held her wrists firm leaving her to whimper as he finally pulled his mouth away from hers. His eyes were on fire and she could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Liquid pooled at her core and soaked her underwear as his hand slid down her chest and to her stomach, creating a trail of fire.

"You have to be quiet," he ordered in low whisper as his free hand undid the strings to her pajama bottoms. "We can't wake, Sam."

She nodded in response, licking her lips as he leaned in for another kiss. She wanted him right then and there, she didn't care that Sam was asleep on the next bed, didn't care that he could wake up at any moment and see what they were doing. Maybe that's what Dean wanted, maybe he wanted Sam to wake up and see him inside of her, to prove the further point that Alex realized. She was Dean's through and through, she wanted him, loved him, needed him, and he felt the same in return. Her heart would be his forever and till the end of time, and nothing would ever change that.

"Do you want it?" he asked, pulling away from the kiss and dipping his head to whisper in her ear before sliding his tongue along the side of her ear. "Do you want me?"

She nodded, biting her lip, fearing that if she spoke it would be too loud and she would wake Sam. She gazed up at Dean's moonlit face and tried to speak all her emotions through the pained expression on her face. It wasn't good enough for him, he wanted to hear the words moaned from her lips and she knew it.

"Say it again," he whispered biting her ear lobe. "I want to hear you say I'm the only man you want."

"You're the only man I want Dean," she whispered quickly, her tone pleading for more of him. "Please…touch me."

The hand resting outside side of her pants obliged her request and slid inside, circling around her clit for a few seconds. She bit her lip again, quieting her moan until he withdrew his hand which made her frown. He released her wrists finally, his body sliding atop hers as he looked into her eyes. She could feel the hardness of him pressing into her stomach, his fingers sliding into her hair as his mouth found hers again making her moan. She couldn't help but grind her body upwards causing friction between them that made him groan into her mouth. Her hand moved next, sliding down his side before slipping into front of his jeans, making him lift his body a little to grant her access. She gripped him tight making him pull his mouth away from hers and clench his teeth as he sucked in a sharp breath.

She pushed against his chest, making him roll off of her before she climbed on top of him. Dean smirked, his eyes moving to check that Sam was still asleep before reaching up to grip her neck and pull her back down for another kiss. She slid her tongue over his, making him moan as she began pushing his boxers down his hips. He lifted his body, allowing her to slide them down easier before she released his mouth.

"I'll prove it to you, Dean," she whispered leaning in towards his ear. "I'll prove it to you all night."

Dean groaned softly at her promise, throwing his head back into the pillow as her tongue traveled down his collar bone to his chest. He was achingly hard and if her mouth was going where he hoped it was, he was sure he would kill Sam if he woke up and ruined the moment. But Sam didn't make a peep as Alex's tongue trailed down his abdomen to his pelvis and she disappeared beneath the covers. He felt her warm breath on him and it made him throb, his hands balling into fists before her mouth even found him.

"Holy shit," he moaned as her mouth slid over him wet and hot. His teeth clenched as she slid her tongue up the underside before swirling around the tip and then she slid back down to the base. "Oh god!"

On the other bed, Sam stirred making Dean lift his head to watch his brother until Sam went motionless again. His eyes then rolled to the back of his head as Alex repeated the same process once again, leaving him gasping as he gripped a handful of her hair. He was dangerously close to finishing right in her mouth, feeling himself pulse and throb against her tongue. Every muscle in his body tensed and the hand in her hair gripped tighter.

"Alex…" he groaned licking his lips. "Wait…stop…Fuck that feels good…No! Stop…I'm gonna-."

She pulled off of him slowly making his whole body shiver. The ache in him grew as she slid back up his body with a smile as his eyes rolled back into their proper place. There was no stopping it then, his cock was aching to be within her and he had every intention of being and he didn't give a damn if Sam happened to wake up. He smiled at her as he ran a hand through her hair, grinding himself upward into her body.

"Jesus Christ," he moaned against her mouth as her tongue licked at his bottom lip. He took one of her hands, bringing it down to the hardness of him. She gripped it tightly making him groan. "Do you feel what you do to me? I want you so bad."

"Do you believe me now then?" she asked softly rubbing her nose against his. "Do you believe me when I say you're the only man I could ever want, Dean Winchester?"

He rolled, pinning her body back underneath his as he recaptured her mouth with his and slid his tongue over hers. His hands slid up her shirt desperately searching for warm flesh and kneading whatever they found. She moaned into his mouth gripping the hem of his shirt and sliding it up, wanting to feel the warmth of his bare skin against her. He finally pulled his mouth away from hers, sitting back on his heels so he could lift his shirt over his head. She sat up as well removing her shirt and tossing it aside before pulling him back down on top of her. She felt as if she was going to burst if he didn't make love to her right then and there. She wanted to feel him all over, inside and out.

"Yes I believe you," he finally answered looking into her eyes.

"Dean…god…," she pleaded in his ear as his hand slid down her body once more before finding the center of her warmth. "Please I need you." She hadn't tasted the saltiness of his skin, or felt the way his muscles rippled beneath her fingers in so long she had nearly forgotten what it was like. She vowed to never leave him again and gasped aloud as his two fingers slid into her. She bit her lip instantly as she heard Sam shifting on the other bed, praying that it wasn't him waking up.

Dean had ignored the sounds coming from his brother's bed, not caring anymore if Sam awoke or not. He planned on pleasing her all night long until the sun came up and then again after they showered and ate breakfast. He had remained abstinent for four months because every time he looked at another woman all he saw was her face, and he knew that it just wouldn't be the same as the real deal. He felt like an idiot, knowing that he should have listened to Sam and went after her a long time ago, but he believed it was best. But now with her body underneath him and her heat throbbing around his fingers he knew that was a horrible mistake.

"Dean," she moaned in his ear making him throb once more. "Please…"

He knew what she was begging for, hell he wanted it too. He wanted to thrust himself inside of her and never stop, but he held back. He didn't want to make it fast; he didn't want to just get it over with. He wanted to savor the moment; he didn't know how many more like it he would have. He wanted to be able to remember this night forever and that meant appreciating every moment of it.

"Patience," he whispered against her cheek, pushing his fingers in deeper. "There's so much more I want to do to you."

She shivered at his words and he couldn't help, but smile. He kissed her again before his mouth began to move, licking down her neck before nipping at her collarbone and then finding a nipple. She gasped when his mouth closed over her breast, beginning to squirm beneath him as his fingers slid in and out with an unbearable slowness. His tongue swirled around her nipple before he bit at it gently and released it from his mouth as he removed his fingers at the same time. She groaned softly in protest catching his eyes in the darkness.

"Now?" she questioned feeling her body ache without him touching her. She was desperate and needy and she didn't care. She would do whatever it took to get him inside of her, and have some kind of release. "God Dean I'm gonna explode…"

"Shh," he whispered leaning in close. "I said to be patient now didn't I?"

She nodded slowly biting her lip. "Yes…but-."

He shook his head, making her fall silent instantly. "I want to taste you first," he whispered.

Her eyes went wide as he brought his fingers that were wet with her juices up to his lips. She let out a low sigh when he slid them into his mouth with a moan before sliding them back out slowly. He shut his eyes as he licked his lips and slid his fingers back within her, making her moan. He leaned in close, his tongue licking up the side of her jaw until he reached her ear.

"God you taste so good," he moaned into her ear.

His fingers slid over her g-spot making her gasp once more. Her walls tightened around his fingers like a vice making them both moan as he pushed them upward brushing her once more. She shut her eyes tight, trying to drown out everything else but him and the feeling of him within her. Her blood slid through her veins hot as lava and she was barely breathing. She felt him sliding down her body, his mouth on her stomach, then just below her navel before he was opening her legs wider for him.

"Yes," she moaned in a whisper arching when she felt warm breath against her. "Please…Dean…I need you…"

His mouth was on her thigh first, sucking gently before it began to move inward and soon he was kissing her other lips. She bit her lip hard sparking pain, but not enough to distract her from the sensation of his mouth. His tongue moved quickly sweeping upward towards her clit making her gasp before he pulled it into his mouth. He sucked and licked over her clit as his fingers picked up rhythm sliding in and out of her in time to match his licks, leaving her to squirm more and more, moaning and panting as she reached down to grip a handful of sandy blonde hair. She tried her best to be quiet, biting her lip harder to keep the noise down, but as the pleasure built and built she found her lips quivering.

"Oh god…Dean…yes…don't stop…please," she moaned as soft as she could. She reached for the extra pillow she wasn't laying on, pulling it over her head just as the dam within her broke and pleasure swept through her like a tidal wave. Her cry was drowned out by the pillow over her face and she arched her pelvis into Dean as he continued on, riding out her orgasm and lapping up the taste of it.

Her brain was still in a post orgasm fog as he slid back up her body and moved the pillow from her face before he captured her mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue, making her moan. He slid into her with no warning or hesitation making them both moan against each other. Neither could wait anymore, the ache in them both to much to bear. Dean nearly came at the first thrust, but he held himself back, wanting to savor the feel of her warmth around him.

"Oh my god," she sighed into his neck, her fingers digging into his flesh as he surged forward once more. "Don't stop, Dean…god…it feels so good."

Her words sent a fire through him that consumed him completely making him moan into the pillow as she begun to tremble beneath him. "I won't baby," he groaned as he kissed her ear. "God…I missed you…so much…holding you…kissing you…tasting you…feeling you cum around me…"

He surged forward again, sliding right in to the hilt making her shiver beneath him from the ripples that rose in her. She was close again, so close that she could taste it, and she knew that with a few well placed strokes she would be spilling herself around him. She lifted her hips in time with his thrusts gasping as the feelings increased and brought her even closer.

"Shit…Dean…I'm gonna cum….please….more," she pleaded not caring anymore about being quiet as she opened her eyes to look into his. "Please….I want too…"

"Shh," he whispered his eyes darting to see that Sam was still fast asleep and unmoving. He kissed her again to muffle her moans, his tongue dueling with hers as he picked up a rhythm that made the mattress squeak softly beneath them. Her squirming and the throbbing around him intensified and even his mouth could not stifle her moans completely. Her fingers dug deeper into his skin and he could feel his own pleasure build up reach its peak.

"Oh god, Alex," he moaned pulling his mouth away from hers and burying his face in her neck. He brought his hand up, covering her mouth to quiet her as he bit his own lip.

The orgasm hit them both like a ton of a bricks making her tremble and shake beneath him. Her last cry was smothered by his hand and he got off with a soft grunt as she tightened around him and he spilled himself into her. He removed his hand from her mouth allowing her to sigh heavily as he rolled off of her and lay at her side. Both of them looked to the other bed instinctively and found Sam still asleep.

"I swore he was going to wake up," Dean whispered shaking his head as he pulled her close.

She didn't say anything as she laid her head on his chest and slid her hand down his arm until she found his hand and locked fingers with him. Silence sat in the room for a long moment before Dean felt her sobbing against him and could feel the wetness of her tears pooling on his chest. He released her hand, gripping her chin and turning her face to meet his. He could see the tears streaming down her face in the moonlight and felt his stomach sink.

"Alex…baby…what's wrong?" he whispered caressing her cheek.

She shook her head and wiped at her eyes as she sniffled. "I just…I'm going to miss you so much, Dean," she sobbed against him. "I…I don't want you to die…please…don't leave me…"

Dean felt his heart break in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her tighter and brought her in closer. She continued to cry against him as he held her and caressed her, knowing that he could bring her mild comfort. He didn't want to admit to her that he was afraid to die too, or that he didn't really want to die to begin with. But Sam meant the world to him and his life had greater value to Dean than his own. _He's my baby brother,_ he thought. _Now what kind of big brother would I be if I didn't give up my own life so he could live?_

"Alex…" he whispered into her hair. "It's going to be okay….I promise."

She stopped crying for the moment as he held her, even though he knew that she knew that he was lying. It wasn't going to be okay. He was going to die and she was going to have to live without him just like Sam and there was nothing either of them could do about it.


	8. You Can Do Whatever You Want

**A/N: Good Morning faithful readers!!! (well...its morning where I am at...change it to afternoon or night to fit your location) I have returned with another update because you guys are awesome and I like to please you! **

**So I felt that Dean and Alex were robbed of some good hard core sex in the last chapter. Sam was in the room after all so they did have to be quiet which was not fair because they have been apart for four months!! Jeez!! So this chapter makes up for it....now its a little more kinkier than my usual style but I had to think in my head WWDW? (What would Dean want?) and the Dean in my head is one kinky sex god so I wrote him as such!! I hope you are all okay with that...So here it is and enjoy it!!! **

**The beginning of it is just pure smuttyness and it starts to deal with more of a plot towards the end. Sorry to give you two doses of smut, but I get the feeling you wont complain...hahahahaha!! Be sure to leave a review and let me know what you think mmmkay?? Awesome!!**

* * *

"_We're on the highway to hell!"_

Alex awoke with a start as her cell phone buzzed and sung ACDC's _Highway to Hell_, which happened to be one of her favorite songs. But now it was annoying as hell. She reached over to the bedside table where she had left it the night before. She groaned reaching one hand up to wipe at her eyes as she rolled away from the warmth at her back. It was a text message from Sam. She blinked in confusion and lifted her head to see that Sam's bed was empty and the room was vacant of his presence. She opened the message and blinked past the sleep gunk still in her eyes to interpret the words.

_Hey, just wanted to let you guys know I was okay. Didn't want to wake you. Went out to breakfast and after that gonna hit the library to get some research done. Call me when you guys want to meet up. _

She smirked as she checked the time and found that it was early, only a little past eight am. She was beginning to worry about little Sam, what man in his right man would get up before eight am on a Saturday and _plan_ to go the library and do _research._ Sam really needed to get a girlfriend. She set her phone back on the night stand and rolled over to face Dean who was still fast asleep behind her, completely unphased by the ringing of her cell phone. His mouth hung open slightly as he slept, his snores spilling out softly. He lay on his side, one arm lying out in front of him which she had just been laying on and the other on his side. He looked absolutely adorable and Alex couldn't help, but smile at him.

"Dean," she whispered, scooting closer and placing a soft kiss on his shoulder. "Dean… It's time to wake up…"

He moaned in his sleep, rolling over onto his back and placing the arm that had been at his side over his eyes. "Mmm…five minutes…more….sleepy," he groaned sleepily before licking his dry lips.

This action made heat rise in her, watching his wet tongue drag over his full lips made her think about that very same tongue between her thighs. She shuddered at the thoughts of it, feeling wetness pool between her thighs. She slid even closer, pressing her body against his as she slid her hand up his chest making the warmth turn into a blazing fire. Her movement was met with a moan from Dean as he shifted a little in his sleep.

"Dean...." she whispered leaning in close to his ear as her hand slid beneath the blankets and sheet covering his lower half. He had put his boxers back on and she had put her pajamas back on after their little sex fest, not wanting Sam to wake up and find them both naked which would make things awkward. Her hand slid past the waistband and found him slightly hard already. She gripped him hard, squeezing the flesh which coaxed a heated moan deep from his throat.

His hips lifted pushing himself further into her grip as she began kissing her way down his chest until she reached the waist band of his boxers. She tugged on them making him lift his hips slightly so she could slide them down to his thighs before taking them completely off. He was fully hard now and throbbing right in front of her very eyes, but the rest of him was still motionless, his arm still covering his eyes, his breathing even. As far as she knew he was still fast asleep, but she planned on changing that. There was no Sam to keep her quiet and their movements slow, she was free to be as loud and as wild as she wanted and she had every intention of doing just that.

She gripped him at the base of his shaft, blowing warm air on him that made his cock bob in her hand. She smiled and licked up the underside of him, right to the tip before taking it into her mouth; she felt his body tense beneath her in response. She slid her mouth all the way down to the hilt of him, some of him spilling into the back of her throat. She suppressed her gag reflex and sucked at him hard making him let out a long groan. She swirled her tongue around him, sucking simultaneously until his hips started grinding into her mouth. She continued on, pulling off him a little so she could wrap her hand around his base again and squeeze as she continued to lick and suck the upper half of him. His groans turned to moans and one hand traveled down to take a handful of her dark hair.

"Fuck Alex," he moaned above her making her eyes look upward to find him gazing down at her sleepily. She smiled around him and increased the pressure of her mouth making him throw his head back and moan louder. "Shit baby….don't stop…that's good…that's really fucking good…"

She continued sliding her mouth over him, licking and sucking until he was panting above her, moaning her name and thrusting even harder. "Alex…holy crap…don't stop…please baby don't stop," he ordered gripping her hair tighter.

She didn't have any intention of stopping, she had never been up for giving blow jobs and Dean was actually her first, but she had of course watched porn before and got the general gist of what to do. _Lick, suck, lick, add a hand, lick and suck all at once, and when the grand finale came… swallow it._ She hadn't made up her mind of whether or not she was ready to take _that_ much of Dean into herself, when his whole body hardened around her and he thrust upward once more. He spilled himself into her mouth with a loud groan, his hand holding her in place and the other gripping the sheets beneath him. She hadn't really had much of choice about what she wanted to do so she did what she sat the girls in the porn do, she swallowed it. She sat up after he was all spent, catching his eyes as she licked her lips clean of him seductively and crawled back up his body before straddling him. He gazed up at her in wonderment as if he had never seen anything like her before and grabbed her pulling her down on top of him as his mouth found hers.

Her tongue danced with his and his hands gripped her hips, his body coming to life once more just from kissing her. "Jesus baby…what was that for?" he asked softly when she pulled away from his kiss.

She shrugged nonchalantly and smoothed her hands up his chest. "I just want to please you, Dean," she said softly. "I want these last months to be the best four months of your life."

His face fell slightly, but he looked up into her eyes and a smile returned to his face. "Well you are off to a damn good start," he said with a soft chuckle.

She smiled in return and leaned down to whisper in his ear as she reached down to grip him once more. He was already half hard and once she squeezed her hand around him again the blood in his cock thickened and he was near full hard with a groan. "Sam is gone…we are all alone…and we have nothing but time baby," she said huskily. "And you…can…do..._whatever_…you…want."

Dean's eyes went wide at her words and she smiled at him as she sat back up and lifted her shirt over her head. His eyes went wider if possible at the sight of her bare chest and she felt his breathing stop. It only took him a second to recover before he was sitting up, one arm wrapping around her waist to hug her close as his other hand gripped her right breast and brought it to his mouth. She moaned aloud tossing her head back as he sucked her nipple into his mouth and lapped at it until she was grinding against him. He was completely hard now and his mind was reeling with the possibilities of knowing that he was allowed to do whatever he wished. His mouth traveled to her other breast showing it equal attention before he was lying back down, staring up at her with eyes full of lust.

"I want to taste you," he said with so much want it sounded like a demand. It made her shiver and more liquid pool between her thighs soaking through her underwear. "Sit on my face."

She hesitated, the lust in her draining as she looked down at him confused. "What?" she said raising an eyebrow.

Dean's lust filled looked didn't falter. He spoke slower this time though as he repeated his command. "Take your pants off and sit on my face."

She hesitated a second longer before rising to her feet on the bed and sliding her pants and underwear down her legs. She kicked them off before straddling him once more, completely nude all for him to see. She blushed shyly as she looked down at him hoping that he would understand she needed some direction. He caught on and cupped her ass before urging her to scoot up his body. He scooted down a little stopping when her thighs were on either side of his head. He pushed on her butt making her lift her body until she was kneeling over him and she could feel his warm breath on her.

Her knowledge of sex was _very_ limited. She had only slept with three guys her entire life and that included Dean _and_ Sam. She was used to the straight to the point missionary sex or-on the rare occasion-her being on top, and oral sex. So this was a whole new level of kink for her, but she was glad that it was Dean who was giving her, her true sexual awakening. He already made her feel things she never felt so it made sense for him to show her things she had never experienced. She held her breath as she didn't know what to expect and waited with anticipation to feel him.

He lifted his head a little and she felt his warm tongue slid over her, long and thick making her cry out. She was worried that she would lose the strength in her knees and crush him so she gripped the ancient head board to hold herself up as his tongue stabbed deep. She could feel his tongue probing against her walls as his hands caressed her ass. She couldn't help but swivel her hips around his tongue increasing the feeling and bringing more deep moans out of her throat.

"Yes, Dean…right there…" she moaned digging her fingers into head board so hard it hurt. "Please…don't stop baby…yes….more…"

His tongue went deeper, brushing right over her g-spot with one good long lick making her arch her back as an unexpected orgasm roared through her. She shook with the force of it, his name rolling off her lips in a loud cry as he rode her orgasm out, continuously licking her until she stilled above him with a hard sigh.

Dean smirked as he rolled her, making her fall next to him on her back. Moving with more speed and grace than any man should have. He was on top of her in seconds, one hand in her hair and the other dipping low to slide his fingers inside of her. She was still in post orgasm bliss and his fingers inside of her made her gasp in surprise. His mouth was on hers, his tongue licking hers before sucking on it and then nipping her bottom lip.

"Did that feel good?" he questioned sliding his fingers in and out of her slowly. "Because it tasted damn good."

"Yes," she moaned rolling her hips around his hand. "Yes…Dean….god I need you…please…."

Dean continued his movements his smile growing. "You said whatever I want right?" he asked playfully making her look at him.

She licked her lips as she nodded. "_Anything…_" she moaned so sweetly his cock bobbed in response.

"Then I want to play with you," he responded as if it was so simple. "I want to touch you until you are squirming and begging for me to be inside you."

She huffed, she was already at that point. She would do whatever he wanted, including beg and squirm. "Okay," she moaned in response. "Touch me Dean…please touch me…more…harder."

He let out a low groan at her request and thrust his fingers in her harder making her arch into him. "You like that?" he asked looking at her as if he were a hunter and she was his prey. "Does it make you want to cum?"

"Yes…don't stop….please Dean," she pleaded thrusting onto his hand. "Please…I'll do anything…"

He pushed his fingers in deep until they were at the knuckle, wiggling his fingers as his thumb came up to rub her clit. She gasped in response, arching her back and gripping the bed sheets beneath her as she moaned loudly, so loud she was sure that whatever neighbors they had could hear. She didn't care, the pleasure was beginning to be too much to bear and she felt her walls closing in around him as more of her fluids gushed past his fingers.

"Oh yeah," he moaned licking his lips as he felt her growing wetter and tightening around him. "Yeah that's it…cum for me Alex…I want to feel it…come on baby that's what I want…"

She followed his orders, her walls clamping down on his fingers as she screamed her release. Her body trembled and her legs shook as she rode out the orgasm still grinding on his fingers until the intensity of it died down and she was left feeling exhausted and satisfied. He removed his fingers from her and lifted his hand, making sure to catch her heavy lidded eyes as he brought them to his full lips and sucked them into his mouth. She watched him suck her juices off his fingers before pulling them out slowly, making her grow wet all over again.

"Don't think I'm done with you yet," he said softly, his eyes showing that he meant every word he was saying. "I am just getting started."

She whimpered in need at his words, unable to stop herself from thinking, _oh god I have created a sex monster_. He sat up and moved away from her a little so her body was in full view of him. "It's your turn now," he said with a nod.

She blinked in confusion sitting up on her elbows slightly. "What?" she said breathlessly.

"I want to watch you please yourself," he said leaning forward to kiss her lips softly. "I want to hear you moan as you tell me what you want."

She hesitated again, this definitely would be a first for her. She felt her cheeks flame, but remembered what she had told him. _You can do whatever you want. _She lay on her back and balled her fists breathing slowly as she felt his eyes on her. "I don't know what to do," she admitted after a few quiet moments. "I have never done anything like this."

"Just close your eyes," he said softly, his voice smooth and comforting. She listened to his command and let her eyes close. "Just listen to the sound of my voice…there's no reason to be embarrassed because it's just me…"

She took in a deep breath and put both hands on her stomach, kneading her flesh carefully as she felt heat rise within her. She heard Dean's voice again. "Just touch yourself in the same way you would want me to touch you," he said huskily. "Imagine your hands are mine….show me what you want…"

She took another breath and let her hands travel upward slowly until they found her breasts and she began to knead them. She moaned at the tingles it brought up in her and imagined that they were Dean's hard hands squeezing them as he looked at her with those hazel green eyes ablaze. She knew he would only knead them for a few moments before sliding one hand down to caress her clit, so that's what she did, slid her left hand down to circle her clit. She let out a low moan as she played with herself and squeezed her breast, feeling the pleasure build up more and more.

"How does it feel?" she heard him ask low and soft.

"It feels so good, Dean," she moaned raising her hips into her own hand.

"How good?" he questioned further. She felt the weight of the bed shift and the warmth of him draw closer.

"So good….like…fire rushing through me….I wish they were your hands baby…touching me….teasing me…" she groaned as she dipped her hand lower and slid one finger into herself as her other hand continued to tease her nipple. "I wish you would touch me, Dean…god…" she brushed a spot within her that made her shiver. "Yes right there…Oh Dean…I want you to…to….oh my god…make me cum."

She opened her eyes as she heard him let out a troubled groan and found him staring at her with so much lust behind his eyes she thought he would burst with it. His hand reached for her, but he stopped himself clenching the hand into a fist and putting it back at his side. Instead of touching her, he nodded in urging licking his lips as he gazed at her.

"Yeah baby…you're so damn sexy," he said softly holding her gaze. "Make yourself cum for me…I want to see it…"

It was like his very words controlled her body, one more stroke within from her fingers had her arching and panting against her hand. The pleasure build up overwhelmed her and she threw her head back with a loud cry as it burst out of her in the form of Dean's name. She felt herself clamp down on her fingers, gush against her hand, and went limp on the bed once again spent from a climax.

Dean finally came forward looking as if he was satisfied as well, his hand gripping the one still in between her legs and bringing her wet fingers to his mouth. She moaned as he licked her fingers slowly, savoring the taste of her with a moan before sucking them clean.

"Mmm….it tastes even better on your fingers…" he moaned after releasing his fingers. "Come on….get up."

She sat up like he commanded, his arms coming around to kiss her as her body tingled from the orgasms. His tongue dueled hers for a long moment as his hands caressed her before he was pushing her down on all fours. She sat on her hands and knees as he positioned himself behind her and rubbed his cock against her. She moaned in response feeling her body prepare itself for him once again. She was still hot and needy, wanting to finally feel _him_ within her.

"I want you to cum for me," he said smoothing his hands up her back making her arch into them like a cat. "I want to hear you scream my name and beg for more."

She nodded looking at him over her shoulder as he bent over to kiss it gently. "Please Dean…make love to me…please…I need you," she whined pushing herself back onto him.

He finally obliged her request, sliding the tip of his hard length in which made her let out a small cry. He held her hips firm as she tried to rock back onto his full length, wanting to tease her even more, knowing she desperately ached for him. He slid into her slowly, inch by inch until he was all the way in to the hilt, making his eyes roll in his head. He felt her walls pulsating around him, tight and wet from all the orgasms, ready for more. She moaned in protest as she tried pull off of him, wanting him to thrust but he held her firm.

"Stay still," he ordered.

"Dean….please….baby…fuck me-."

"You said anything I want Alexandra," he said very seriously, surprising her at how well he could keep his composure. "And I _want_ you to stay still."

She groaned in frustration, but obeyed his commands, holding still just like he asked. He began rocking his hips forward into her, creating a ripple effect within her as he moved but never pulled himself out. She moaned in time with his motion, feeling so full with him that she didn't think she could take much more. She felt another sweep of pleasure building, the pulsating of her quickening around him as she felt another orgasm coming. She wanted more, needed to feel him sliding in and out. She desperately reached behind her, placing her hand on his stomach and pushing him away from her body as she pulled forward. He slid out of her with the force of it and she rocked backwards on him hard making him grunt loudly. She cried out with the force of it, hoping he would get the rhythm going himself, but he growled softly and placed his hand in between her shoulder blades forcing her upper body to lay down. She tried to move, but he held her there, sliding out of her leaving her feeling empty.

"Dean!" she cried angrily.

"I said not to move didn't I?" he asked, she couldn't see him but she could imagine his face looking amused, one eyebrow raised as he looked down at her.

"Dean I am sick of the teasing," she growled. "Just fuck me already!"

"You said whatever I want Alex," he answered.

"Dean," she begged. "Please…god I need you…make me cum…please Dean, please."

There was a brief moments of hesitation from him before he finally gave in and thrust forward, right to the hilt. He brushed just the right spot to make her call out his name in a pleasure and pain filled moan. He picked a fast rhythm, still holding her down with one hand while the other steadied her hips as his own slammed into her with enough force to make the headboard bang into the wall. It hurt and felt good all at once, an exhilarating mixture of pleasure and pain that had her hips rising up to give him just the right angle. She felt close again and began panting with anticipation, her fingers balling up the sheets beneath her as a string of wants and needs came out of her mouth.

"Yes Dean...right there...harder...more...please.."

He gripped her hips tighter, his rhythm picking up at the sounds of her moans increasing. "Yeah baby…that's it…cum for me just once more….God Alex…" he groaned.

He surged forward once…twice…and they both were cumming with loud cries of each other's names, bodies trembling and on fire with an intensity that neither had ever felt. Dean pulled out of her panting and still shaking as he fell onto the bedside her and she collapsed face down on the bed. Neither spoke for a moment as they tried to steady their breathing and slow their heart beats back to normal rhythm.

"Alex," Dean said looking at the ceiling, still panting.

"Yeah?" she asked sleepily, looking at him through heavy lidded eyes.

"I love you," he said surprising her.

She hesitated for a moment. "I love you too, Dean," she said softly a small smile spreading across her lips. That was only the third time he had ever said how he felt about her and she hoped it wouldn't be the last.

* * *

"So Alex can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you pregnant?"

Alex choked on the toothpaste that was swishing around in her mouth, it came spewing out and sprayed all over the mirror in front of her. She turned large green eyes on the man standing in the doorway to the bathroom and raised her eyebrows at him. The question had taken her by such surprise that she didn't know if he really said it or her imagination had taken the real words he had said and turned them into some farfetched question.

They both had taken a little nap after their little sexcapade and then awoke to get dressed and go meet with Sam. Alex had already taken her shower and gotten dressed and was taking care of her daily hygienic needs while Dean took his turn at the shower. He had just gotten out of the shower, still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist, leaving the bathroom to go get dressed when he had stopped in the doorway to ask her the question.

"What do you mean?" she asked wiping her mouth and looking at him cautiously.

"I was just thinking how we never use protection and I know I have blown a load in you more than once," he replied nonchalantly with a shrug. "I just want to know why you aren't getting pregnant."

Alex raised an eyebrow at him, feeling offended by his word usage. "Blown a load in me?" she repeated with a frown. "You make me sound like some sort of receptacle."

"Oh stop you know that is not what I meant," he said with a frown as he walked to her and removed the toothbrush from her hand. His arms went around her hugging her close as she continued to frown. "I'm sorry okay? How about: I know I have "ejaculated" in you a few times."

She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn't stop the small smile that spread across her face. "I'm on birth control," she answered. "I didn't have sex often before I got involved with you but I didn't want to take the risk of any accidents. So I take the pill."

"Oh," he replied, his eyes dropping a little. "That's good."

She hesitated feeling an odd emotion creep up through her as she looked at him. She asked the question before she could stop herself. "Do…do…you want me to get pregnant?" she asked softly.

Dean's eyes jerked up immediately at the question, she could see the hope and fear and doubt that rushed through them. His face gave it away as well and she could imagine what he was thinking. He was only in his late twenties and he had nothing to leave behind for him but his brother and a car. He had never been in a meaningful long lasting relationship and he didn't have any kids to carry on his name. It made sense for him to start thinking about kids as his death came closer and closer. It was all spoken right there on his face for just a few seconds before he recovered and wiped it from his face. He immediately turned it into a joke, his usual defense mechanism.

"Ha!" he huffed. "There's only room for one Dean Winchester in this world and me in miniature form? Not good, trust me."

He pulled away from her, moving to leave the bathroom but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back. She looked at him seriously. "Dean…if you want to have a child I would give you one," she said softly, her eyes dropping. She meant it with all her heart, but was too afraid to see what kind of reaction he would give.

He put a hand on her cheek caressing the skin there before lifting her face by her chin. He looked completely serious as he gazed into her eyes and smiled weakly. "Alex…I wouldn't want to plan something like that out," he said just as soft as her tone. "I would want it to be a…happy surprise. I wouldn't want it to be a forced desperate act just because I am going to die in a few months. If it happened I couldn't lie and say I wouldn't be happy, but…." He shook his head. "Let's not try to force something like that."

She nodded quickly and offered him another weak smile as she picked up her toothbrush. He winked at her as he left the bathroom and she continued to brush her teeth. She washed her face and moisturized it before doing her hair and then reaching for the plastic case that held her birth control pills. It was her normal time to take one, she took it every day after brushing her teeth and washing her face, but now she hesitated. She knew what Dean wanted, a happy surprise, and if she just so happened to stop taking her pills and get pregnant in the last few months before he died wouldn't that be a happy surprise? She would have a piece of him to live on with after he was gone and Sam would always have a piece of his brother to spend time with. She could stop hunting and settle down with little Dean and live the normal life that Dean always wanted.

_Stop it Alex, you are being silly. Take your pill and go on with__** your**__ normal life. You are a hunter,_ the little taunting voice in the back of her mind said. _You have never even held a baby or spent even a few seconds alone with one so how on earth could you raise one by yourself? _

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and followed the little voices orders. If there was a baby to come from her and Dean's relationship it would have to come from the miracle of God's grace because she was going to continue taking her pills. She swallowed the tiny pill with a sigh and put the plastic container back in her toiletry case.

When she walked out the bathroom she found Dean standing shirtless in just jeans as he dug through his duffel trying to find another shirt. His brow was furrowed in concentration and his muscles rippled as his arms dug through the contents of his bag. She froze for a moment marveling at all the perfection he was. Tan skin over toned muscle and even with the various scars, he still had the body of a god and nothing could change that. She felt heat rise within her and flashes of sexcapade that took place only hours ago flashed in her brain. She didn't know how she could feel so horny just at the sight of him, especially not after the multiple orgasms that he had given her already that day.

He finally found a dark t-shirt and pulled it on hiding his spectacular body from her finally which didn't dampen the heat in her much but it kept her from tackling him for round three. He caught her watching him and blushed slightly before smiling at her.

"What?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing…nothing at all…" she said softly with a smile.

The door to the motel room opened quickly surprising them both as they turned and saw Sam entering the room. He looked flushed in the face as if he had been running, and his breath came out in heavy pants.

"Sam…Dude…What's up?" Dean asked raising an eyebrow.

"It's Bobby," Sam answered looking grim. "He's in a coma."


	9. Heat of the Moment

**A/N: Hello again!!! Two updates in one day? OMGEE aren't you guys lucky???!!! Well anyway this is a combination of the episodes "Dream a little dream of me" and "Mystery Spot" which were crucial episodes in season three I believe so I had to write Alex into them somehow. The summary for DALDOM is short of course, but I knew I had to write it because I want the beginning of this story to follow along with the plot of season three for the most part which means writing Alex into Season three somehow even though its a little AU...just please bear with me!! Anyway there is mild smut in here, but let me know what you think anyway. This chapter was also kind of rushed so I apologize. Next chapter will be better. I promise. **

* * *

"I'm really not too fond of your friend Bela," Alex admitted packing her things back in her duffel.

Dean frowned heavily and zipped his duffel closed before kissing her on the cheek. "Me either, come on babe we gotta get out of here."

A week and a half had passed since they had found out Bobby was in a coma due to a "psychotic sandman" as Dean called him. Jeremy Frost had not only almost killed the one man who was like a father to her, but also Dean and Sam. And during the course of it all she had gotten to meet the notorious thief that Dean and Sam had told her was trying to make their lives a living hell. She played nicely with Bela although she could see the way Bela's eyes squinted in anger when she realized just how important to Dean and Sam Alex was. Alex admitted that she felt a hint of jealousy when she spotted the English chick that came walking into the motel room, but when she saw the way Dean acted coldly to her, her jealousies subsided. She knew that Dean had nothing but contempt for the woman. And when they found out she stole the Colt from right under their noses she knew exactly why.

She hadn't taken the dream root with the boys, it freaked her out a little to know that they would all be together trapped inside their own heads, so she opted to stay awake and watch over them. She noticed how visibly shaken was after Dean awoke, but said nothing not wanting to bother him. She had no idea that he had been dreaming of a demon version of himself, taunting him about what he would become.

"What did you see in Dean's head, Sam?" Alex asked zipping her duffel and following Sam and Dean out to the Impala. "24/7 porn?"

Sam shrugged with a smirk as Dean frowned. "Nothing, Jeremy kept me separate from Dean. Easier for him to beat my brains out I suppose. What did you see Dean?"

They both noticed the way Dean's face faltered by the slightest of an inch before he shook his head. "Nothing. I was looking for you the whole time," he replied shutting the trunk and rounding the car to climb into the impala.

Alex and Sam followed suit, Sam climbing into the backseat as Alex took the passenger. Dean hesitated as he shifted through his keys and then sighed before turning to look at Alex and Sam. "Guys?" he said softly his eyes dropping.

"Yeah?" Sam said leaning forward against the front seats.

"I've been doing some thinking…and I don't want to die," Dean admitted looking at Sam and then Alex. "I don't want to go to hell…I don't want to leave you guys."

Alex felt relief swarm through her with such an intensity that it came out of her in a heavy sigh. She looked to Sam who shared the same look of relief on his face. He reached forward and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "We will find a way to save you Dean," Sam said with so much confidence in his voice that Alex even believed him. "We aren't going to let you die."

Dean smiled weakly. "Okay good…"

* * *

**_One week later_**

"_Heat of the moment!"_

Alex never wanted to hear that song by Asia again. It would forever remind her of the worst seven months of her life. Being stuck in an infinite time loop with Sam, both of them watching Dean die in some new way every day, over and over and over again. She couldn't stand knowing the way he looked as he took his final breath, couldn't stand seeing the light go out in his eyes day after day after day. Sometimes Sam would be the one holding him as he died or it would be her, cradling him as her tears spattered across his face. She and Sam realized that it would continue to happen over and over again, but each time she cried, it never failed. Sam grew resilient to it, expecting it each time they both woke up to the sound of Asia, but she could never get used to it. She always hoped that _that_ would be the day the horrible loop stopped and that it would be Wednesday.

When they found the trickster outside of the diner she thought her prayers had been answered and when she woke up beside Dean with no Asia playing her heart nearly leapt out of her chest. She and Sam shared a knowing glance as she hugged Dean desperately and kissed him so passionately he grew hard against her. Dean sent Sam out off for a "long" breakfast while he and Alex ravaged each other, he didn't know why she was in such a good mood or why she clung to him so desperately, but he didn't care. When Sam returned they packed their things and planned on leaving the god forsaken town and never coming back, until they heard the gunshot rang out from the parking lot. She and Sam tripped over each other as they both bolted for the door, but she was the one to reach him first. She hugged him too her body, sobbing uncontrollably as Sam stared into Dean's dead eyes in disbelief.

"_Close your eyes, Alex," _he said shutting his own quickly. _"We will wake up and this will be all over with."_

But they didn't wake up. It felt as real as any other day and Dean was still dead. They buried Dean in a hidden plot in the backwoods of the town, calling Bobby who came to help them. Bobby offered to take her home to let her have a break from hunting, but she didn't want to leave Sam. She was afraid of what he would do if he was left alone. She stayed with him as he hunted, neither of them having fun or trying to enjoy life anymore. A month went by of Alex waking up and hoping it was at least Tuesday again, not caring if she heard the dumb song as long as Dean was there and she could have him in her arms once again. But when she opened her eyes there was only another dull motel room with Sam either asleep in the other bed beside hers or already awake and dressed.

She tried to keep her emotions in check, knowing that if she let them get the best of her she would break. But there came a night when they overwhelmed her and Sam found her crying on the bathroom floor when he returned from getting food. He carried her to her bed, strong arms wrapped around her tightly as he looked at her with water brimming in his eyes. She clung to him like an anchor as he ran a hand through her hair and shushed her. _Its okay,_ he whispered in her ear caressing her back. _I am going to find that damn trickster and we are going to get Dean back. I swear Alex, I swear it._

She let those words comfort her even though there wasn't a single ounce in her being that believed him. Even if they did find the trickster who was to say that he would even bring Dean back just to please Sam? But she nodded in his arms looking through her tears into his now cold brown eyes, all the light and kindness in them completely gone. She wanted to push him away then, wanted to crawl under her covers and drift off to sleep where she could dream of having Dean in her arms and his mouth on hers, but she didn't. She buried her face into Sam's neck as she squeezed her tighter against him, wanting to find some comfort, _any _comfort in him.

Soon his mouth was on hers, kissing and biting at her lips as she whimpered against him. She lay limp against him at first, her mind not made up about whether or not she wanted to do this. She gave in as his mouth became more eager, biting at the skin of her neck hard enough to spark pain. She grabbed him by his face roughly and kissed him, teeth scraping and biting as their tongues dueled against each other. There was no love or romance in it at all, just anger and hate for a being they could not find, and that was channeled into sexual energy. His hands held her so hard he left bruises, and the scratches from her nails bled out on his back. But that's what they both needed and wanted, physical pain to outweigh the emotional pain of it all. She egged him on as his fingers slid into her roughly, opening her wider for him.

"_Yes Sam…fuck me…more…please Sam, make it hurt."_

He slid into her without ease or caution. He was much bigger than Dean, his cock ripping and tearing at her as he bent her over the bed and thrust into her with no abandon. She felt tears still streaming down her face as the complex mixture of pain and pleasure burst through her, rolling and spinning, filling her and draining her all at once. He fucked her like he didn't know her, twisting and turning her into any position that he wished at the time, his hand pulling her hair hard, his teeth digging into her skin, talking to her in dirty slurs that thrilled her and offended her all at once. Soon the feelings in her reached their limit and she burst with them, his name rolling off of her lips only because she knew that he wasn't _Dean_. He didn't stop; he continued to bounce her on top of him as she straddled him in the reverse cowgirl position, his fingers digging into her sore hips as her hair brushed against his chest. It didn't take long for him to feel his balls tighten as he slammed home once more and spilled himself into her with loud grunt. It felt good and painful all at once, her body pulsing around him until she climbed off of him with a soft sob and lay down beside him. Neither of them said anything for a long time, both of them falling asleep, waking up the next morning to find themselves in each other's arms. She moved quickly, trying to dislodge herself from his arms, but he held her firm forcing eye contact.

"_I'm sorry, Alex,"_ he whispered allowing emotion to show on his face for the first time since Dean's death. _"I didn't mean to…be so rough…I didn't want to hurt you I just…It won't happen again. And we will never speak of this again…it just…it hurts so badly."_

She nodded in answer, brushing a meaningless kiss across his lips before running a hand through brown locks. _"I know, Sam…its hurts me too…in more ways than you realize. Let's just find this damn trickster and bring Dean back."_

Four months later Bobby called and left a message saying that they had found a way to get a hold of the trickster. They both didn't let their hopes get up as they drove to meet Bobby, the rain spattering on the windshield of the impala as Alex stared out the window. They hadn't had sex again just like Sam had said and they hadn't spoken of it either, as far as they were concerned it hadn't happened and it didn't mean a thing. When they found Bobby in the old apartment performing a ritual, Alex had no idea that Sam knew it was really the trickster. When he plunged the stake into Bobby's back she had felt her heart sink into her stomach and tears fill her eyes. She was turning to Sam to promptly kick his ass when Bobby's body disappeared and the trickster appeared with a laugh.

"_I'm just fooling with you guys!" _He said with a bright smirk. _"Jeez Sam who ever said Dean was the dysfunctional brother clearly hasn't seen you with sharp objects in your hand. Whoa…full metal jacket."_

"_Bring him back!" _Sam shouted stepping forward. He sounded angry and demanding which made Alex step forward and place a hand on his shoulder as the trickster frowned at him. She let the tears fall down her face as she looked the creature in the eyes.

"_Please bring him back," _she said softly, hoping he would see the hurt and pain in her eyes and bring him back again.

"_Who? Dean?" _The trickster asks incredulously. _"Dean is dead sweetheart. His soul is rotting away downstairs as we speak."_

"_Then please just take us back to Wednesday when this all started," _Alex pleaded instead.

"_No,"_ The trickster said with a frown. _"I don't think I should. There's a lesson to learn here. Sam, this obsession you have with saving Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes from it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. Bad guys know it too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you gotta just let people go…And Alex…honey…just think of what your daddy would think if he knew this is what you had become after he gave up his life to save you and bring you peace."_

Alex felt her stomach cave in at the tricksters words. _"What…what do you mean?" _She questioned. _"My dad died from cancer…"_

The tricksters smile widened. _"That's what you think missy…your dad is in the same spot that Dean and John Winchester are in….hell."_

Alex's mind reeled at the implications the trickster was making. Sam felt for her, but he did not want to waste the whole reason of why they had come and lured the trickster there. _"He's my brother," _he continued stepping forward again.

"_Yup and like it or not this is what life is gonna be like without him. You two alone…hunting and living on the run…occasionally screwing each other even though you know its wrong, but you just can't help it."_

"_No!" _Sam shouted grabbing him by his shirt. _"Please…just please…"_

The trickster rolled his eyes in with a sigh. _"I swear it's like talking to a brick wall with you two. This all stopped being fun months ago. I'm over it."_

Sam and Alex blinked in confusion. _"What does that mean?" _Sam questioned.

"_That's for me to know and you two to find out," _the trickster replied with a snap of his fingers.

* * *

When Alex and Sam awoke again it was too the sound of _Huey Lewis and the news._ They both sat up, looking at each other as they shared shocked glances. They looked to the bathroom, seeing Dean standing in the doorway staring at them both with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth gazing at them both curiously.

"You both just gonna sleep all day?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "I know, no Asia. This station sucks."

"It's Wednesday," Alex said with a large smile looking at Sam who nodded in agreement.

Dean frowned at them. "Yeah. Which usually comes after Tuesday. One of you turn thing off," he said motioning to the radio.

Alex and Sam ignored his order and rushed out of their beds, both reaching Dean at once and hugging him tightly. Dean grunted as they made impact but wrapped his arms around them both, looking at them weirdly. Alex rose on tip toe as his face turned to hers and kissed him quickly, one hand going into his hair before she and Sam both pulled back.

"Whoa…how many Tuesdays did you guys have?" Dean asked.

"Enough," Alex and Sam replied at the same time. Then they both blinked in surprise.

"Wait… You remember?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah….well I remember you both being whacked out yesterday and I remember catching up to the trickster. That's about it."

Sam and Alex shared a glance as Dean went back into the bathroom. Neither of them had to speak to let the other know that they would never tell Dean about those six months where he was dead to them, how they each had to live alone without him and the things that occurred. It would be their little secret, never to be spoken again by either of them. They both just wanted to get the hell out of the town and move on. The one thing Alex did want to look into is what the trickster had said about her father, but it could wait until Thursday when she could make sure they weren't in the loop still.

"Let's get the hell out of this town," Alex sighed.

Sam nodded in agreement. "Yes, NOW."

"No breakfast??" Dean whined looking at them both.

"No breakfast," they answered at once.

Dean sighed. "Fine…I'll pack the car."

"No you won't," Alex ordered. "You pack your things up here and we will all leave together. You aren't leaving our sight."

"It's the parking lot, Alex," Dean replied giving her a look.

"Just trust us," Sam answered.

They packed their things quietly; making sure nothing of them was left behind before they were ready to go. They were heading out the door when Dean stopped them both. "You guys okay? Neither of you look that good," he asked. "Something else happen?"

Sam and Alex shared a glance looking at him before they both shook their heads.

"I'm fine," Alex lied heading out the door.

"Me too," Sam offered. "I just had a weird dream is all. A _really_ weird dream."

Dean nodded. "Clowns or midgets?"


	10. Crossroad Deals

A/N: Greetings!! Sorry it took me so long to update but here you go. This just another info chapter so there is no smut…sorry!! But there will be some next chapter if I can work it in. Let me know what you think!! Thanks.

* * *

"Alex…hey Alex! Wake up!"

Alex sat up with a start, pulling her gun from her belt and aiming it before her eyes had even focused. She hadn't remembered falling asleep, which made her a little bit more panicky than usual when she was woken up. She looked up to find Dean staring down at her, a frown on his face and his hands up in defense. She dropped the gun with a sigh and looked around the library, thankfully all the seats in her immediate area were empty and the few stragglers that were around were to busy to notice her pulling a gun on the love of her life. She placed it back in her belt underneath Dean's large button down she was wearing over her tank and smiled apologetically at Dean.

"You okay?" he asked dropping his hands and raising an eyebrow.

She sighed again and nodded. "Yeah…just a little jumpy…what time is it?'

"Almost ten," Dean said checking his watch. "The library is about to close. Me and Sam were worried about you. You've been gone for five hours."

She frowned and checked her watch. He was right. She had been there since five o' clock, when the boys finally let her leave the motel room. It had been a week since she and Sam had gotten the trickster to send them back to the Wednesday where Dean was alive and since then she had been on a desperate search for answers. She wanted to know what the trickster had meant about Alexander, there was a growing void within her, widening every day that she did not know what Alexander had done. She had, had her head in book after book after book, searching for some way to summon the trickster or speak to the dead without creating a zombie. She had even gone to a few psychics in the local town, but all of them had turned out to be a hoax, which didn't surprise her. She hadn't told Dean or Sam what she had been working on, knowing that Sam would disapprove because he thought the trickster was a liar and telling Dean would mean telling him about those six months where she and Sam were alone without him. And she wasn't ready to do that just yet. She was barely sleeping or eating which concerned Dean and Sam and had them constantly asking her what she was researching so desperately to which she always answered "_I am searching for the a way to save Dean"_. She had lost hope after the first few days thinking she would never know, but she had finally made up her mind about what she was going to do. She would go to a crossroads herself and ask a demon if a deal by Alexander had been made.

Dean and Sam in the mean time had been busy searching for Bela. They both knew that she had the colt which was their only chance of saving Dean at the moment and they needed to get it back. They were hot on her trail and had finally pin pointed her location in the very town they were in. Sam suggested they wait until nightfall to go and ransack her motel room. Alex had decided to go to the library to pass the time and when it was nearing closing hours and she hadn't returned or called Dean went looking for her and founding her sleeping, her head in an open book.

"Alex…" he said softly sitting in the extra chair at the table and scooting closer. "I'm starting to get worried about you…You aren't sleeping, you aren't eating, you're at the library every chance you get or you got your face in the lap top…I don't want you to lose yourself in this search to save me…if there really isn't any way to save me then I don't want my last few months with you to be wasted because I barely see you."

Alex sighed again, rubbing her sore eyes. She felt bad lying to him about everything, especially when he was being so honest and caring with her. She wanted to come out and tell him everything, about the six months where he was dead, what the trickster said and what she intended to do to find her answers. But she wouldn't. She knew he would be angry, and she knew that he definitely wouldn't let her go to a crossroads alone.

"I'm sorry, Dean," she said softly reaching out to caress his cheek. "I just…don't want to lose you."

Dean sighed and took her hand, squeezing it with his own. "I don't want to lose you either, baby; especially not if I am going to be gone in these last few months," he said smiling weakly.

She tried to smile and hoped it showed on her face. She shut the book she had been reading and leaned over to kiss him, just as Sam came walking around a book case. "Hey," he said walking toward them as they turned to him. "You found her…"

Dean nodded and rose to his feet. "Yeah…now we can go and get my colt back from that bitch," he said through clenched teeth.

"We gotta hurry," Sam said with a nod. "She might skip town."

"Yeah, come on babe," Dean agreed turning to Alex.

She hesitated as she looked at both of them, seeing this as one of her only opportunities to go to the nearest crossroads alone. Dean didn't even like to have her out of his sight, if they were wrapped up with Bela at the time she could go and get her answers and be back before they even noticed she was gone.

"I think I am going to sit this one out," she said making them both frown.

"Why?" Sam asked before Dean could say anything.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I want to catch up on some sleep," she said faking a yawn. "I know you both can handle a small British chick. There are two of you and one of her after all."

Dean and Sam's frowns deepened and they shared a glance. "You have wanted to kick Bela's ass since the first day you met her and now you have an opportunity and you aren't going to?"

She shrugged again. "It's not that big of a deal. I am a firm believer in karma," she said rising to her feet and shutting the various books that lay open. "I know you can handle it. I just want some sleep that's all…this whole no sleep thing is really kicking my ass."

Dean and Sam shared another glance again before Dean shrugged. "Fine," he said looking at her still frowning. "You sure you're okay?"

She nodded again trying to reassure him. "I am fine," she repeated. "Just tired is all. You guys can head to Bela's from here. I'm just going to catch a cab and head on back to the motel, take a shower and hit the hay."

Neither of them said anything for a long moment, both Dean and Sam just stared at her curiously before Dean spoke. "Okay…" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Call me if you find something alright?" she said walking to him and kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean replied, his voice quieter than normal. He wasn't used to saying those three words in public just yet.

She waited for the few awkward moments as they stood there to pass and then the men were walking away glancing back at her before they both disappeared behind the rows of bookshelves. She turned back to the table, sitting down and flipping through the pages of one of the books she had been researching just to make sure the boys didn't come back to check up her story. Fifteen minutes passed and then she rose from her seat, walking to the librarian who was a small old woman who looked up at her expectantly.

"Hi, I need a map please."

* * *

With her luck there wasn't a crossroads for fifty miles. She called a cab and went back to the motel packing her extra duffel with protection equipment. When she was finished, she went out to the parking lot of the motel and took her pick of the cars. She had picked a black Honda, something that didn't start too loud and looked inconspicuous. She had every intention on putting it back where she found it, but she couldn't take a cab to go see a demon.

When she finally reached the crossroads, she found herself in the middle of nowhere on a dirt and gravel road. There was only a small empty run down shed near the crossroads and not even a cell phone tower in sight. She walked to the center unsure if there would already be a tin box with everything she needed to summon the demon below the earth, but used her hand to dig and see anyway. She was lucky enough in that regards. She pulled the box from the dirt and opened it, immediately reaching for the aged picture within. She pulled it out and gazed at it, and after a moment of taking in the features her eyes went wide.

"You must be Alexandra Sheppard."

She jumped at the sound of the deep voice, rising to her feet quickly and turning to find a man in a suit standing behind her. He was tall and young looking, his eyes blue and his hair a dark wave across his head. He was handsome which surprised her and the smile across his face could have been mistaken for "kind" if she didn't know what he really was. She tried to calm her racing heart and not let the panic show on her face. She couldn't act scared in the face of a demon, it would only surely mean death, and he had already startled her.

"Yes….and you are?"

His smile widened. "So polite…My name is of no importance," he said. "I assume you are here for answers. You are here a lot later than I anticipated…but you have still come nonetheless."

She hesitated. Was he reading her thoughts? How did he know what she had come for? And why was he expecting her? She put on a determined face and her eyes dropped back down to the picture that had shocked her. It was a picture of Alexander. It was ripped in half, but she could still see a slim arm draped around his shoulder which she knew belonged to her mother. She knew because the other half of the picture that showed her mother was in her duffel bag back at the motel in a journal that she had kept since her mother died. His young face smiled up at her, his green eyes bright, and joy on his handsome features. He looked exactly the way she remembered him before the cancer had set in. She tried to fight back the tears and held up the picture for the demon to see.

"You made a deal with my father?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

He turned blue eyes onto the picture gazing at it thoughtfully for a moment before he looked back at her. He blinked and when he opened his eyes they were a deep blood red that made her flinch. She swallowed hard as he took a step toward her and reached for the picture. She allowed him to take it from her hand and his eyes fell to it once again.

"He was a very demanding man," he said looking back up at her. "But yes I made a deal with him."

She clenched her teeth. _Daddy….what the hell did you get yourself into?! What could have been so important that you wanted to sell your soul to the damn devil?_ "What was the deal for?" she questioned, trying to sound determined.

He laughed at her show of spine and tossed the picture at her feet. "I am afraid Ms. Sheppard that, that information is confidential," he said shaking his head. "I cannot just disclose that sort of information for free."

She felt her gut tighten and something inside of her told her to just leave. _This isn't right. He was expecting you. You didn't even put your damn picture in the box and suddenly he was there. Get out of here. Go back to Sam and Dean where it's safe. DO NOT MAKE A DEAL, _the voice shouted at the back of her head. Her fists clenched and she locked eyes with the demon that was waiting expectantly. The voice was right; something about the situation didn't feel right, more so than the fact that she was even talking to a demon. She should have run then, should have gone back to Dean and Sam and told them the truth of everything. But instead she looked the demon in the eye and spoke with a voice full of demand and determination.

"What do you want?"

He chuckled and began to walk in circles around her, looking her up and down. "You know…I really like you Alexandra," he said with a nod as he rounded her back and came up to her front. "You have a lot of…spunk."

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't have all night," she said through clenched teeth. "You want something so spit it out."

The demons grin widened and he rubbed his hands together as he regarded her. "I want a taste of your blood," he said slowly his eyes sweeping up her body.

She blinked taken aback by his request. "No!" she quickly before she could even consider it.

The demon frowned at her response, his eyes flashing red again and she could physically hear his teeth clench. He regained his composure quickly, the sly smile spreading across full lips again as if he knew some private joke in his head about her. She hesitated, trying to decipher why he could possibly want to taste her blood when he stepped closer to her.

"I don't want to kill you Alexandra," he said softly. "Believe me you are far more valuable to me alive. I just want a _small_ taste."

"Why?" she questioned looking at him suspiciously. "I'm a normal girl like everyone else. There is nothing special about my blood."

He chuckled again and started to walk around her once more. "Now how do you know that, _that_ is true?" he asked softly.

She felt a chill as he circled behind her and then came into her view, his eyes red again as he gazed at her. She didn't understand what he meant, didn't get what he was trying to hint at it and it was starting to piss her off. She frowned at him and spoke through clenched teeth.

"What the hell do you want to taste my blood for?" she asked. "I am not going to agree to anything until I know _why_."

He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I'll explain after the deal is made….how about that?"

She frowned deeper and pulled her gun from her belt aiming it right between his red eyes. She knew it wouldn't kill him, but it would hurt like hell and she had no problem causing him pain. It would distract him enough so that she could run back to the car and grab the holy water and say an exorcism, but she was thrown off by how he began laughing. Loudly.

"Alexandra," he said shaking his head. "You should not poke a bear with a stick. That cannot harm me.''

She shook her head in agreement. "Yeah, but these are salt rounds pal. Which means it will hurt you like hell."

"I'm not your average demon, Alexandra," he said. His gaze darkened intensely and she felt a chill run up her spine.

She hesitated. "What do you mean?"

"This may just be a crossroads, but this is a special crossroads," he explained slowly. "This is where the desperate ones come…to speak to me."

"And who the hell are you?"

His eyes turned darker if possible and his smile widened. "I am the holder of the contracts…the boss demon if you will…I say whether there is a deal or not and when my pets come to collect the souls they are brought to me. It is power given by me that my employees use to make the deals. I am the center of it all. I am the original and first crossroads demon and the most powerful."

She felt her stomach sink in and she dropped her arm, the gun hanging at her side as she gazed up at him in shock. He continued to smile at her as she stared at him.

"What did my father want?" she asked. "Was it my mom? Did he come to ask you to save my mom?"

He shook his head. "I can't tell you that without making a deal. I don't give out freebies sweetheart. I am a demon of many rules that I follow closely. So if you want information you are going to have to give me something that I want."

"And you want my blood?" she finished slowly, her eyes dropping.

He gave a single nod. "Just a taste…I won't harm you and you won't have to sell your soul."

She shook her head turning her back on him as her mind raced over the pros and cons of the situation. The most powerful crossroads demon wanted to drink her blood and she had no clue why or what it would do to him. She wanted to know what Alexander made the deal for and why and the only way of every truly knowing rested with the demon. She wasn't of a trusting kind, especially not when it came to demons, but if she wanted answers something told her that this was the only way. She turned back to him as he waited expectantly and sighed.

"I'll do it."

He was on her in seconds, one arm around her tightly as his other hand gripped her hair, yanking her head back. His lips found hers, hard and bruising and when she gasped in surprise his tongue snaked into her mouth. The minute his tongue touched hers a flood of images burst through her head making her eyes shut tight. They moved so rapidly at first she couldn't decipher any of it until it all slowed down.

* * *

When she opened her eyes again she was standing alone in the crossroads out of breath and confused. She spun around looking for the demon, cursing when she didn't lay eyes on him. She was about to call out for him when she heard the familiar rumble of a truck that made her heart skip a beat. Turning slowly she spotted large headlights coming her way and as she brought up her hand to shield her eyes from the light she realized that she recognized the truck. She hesitated putting her gun in the back of her jeans before rubbing her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. She wasn't. She watched in awe as her father's truck came to halt a few feet from her. It was a huge ford truck, rusty and blue and lifted high off the ground with big wheels. She remembered riding and living in that truck when she was younger, she loved to sit in the front seat, the wind whipping through her hair as the engine rumbled beneath her. The truck still sat in Bobby's salvage yard; she could never bring herself to get behind the wheel.

The engine halted and the driver side door opened and a man jumped down making her catch her breath. She could only see a pair of legs for a moment before the door shut and Alexander stood before her very eyes. He looked young, just the way she remembered him from her child hood, before the cancer. He was tall and ruggedly handsome, his hair dark and his eyes green like hers. He looked tired, and his eyes were bloodshot as if he had been crying. He came walking toward her and Alex opened her mouth to speak to him when he passed right through her as if she were a ghost. She gasped in surprise realizing that she must in some sort of memory inside the demons head. She turned to finding her father kneeling at the center, his hand digging through the dirt. Once he found the tin box within he pulled a folded picture from his pocket, he stared at it for a long moment before he ripped it in half quickly and placed a piece of it inside pocketing the other half.

By the time he had risen to his feet, the demon was there. He was in the same host that she had seen him in and there was that same sadistic smile across his face. She walked quickly toward them standing near the demon so she could see Alexander's face. He was crying again, silent tears streaming down his face as he looked at the demon with an angry frown.

"How can I help you Mr. Sheppard?" the demon asked politely as he crossed his arms.

"I know you know why I am here," Alexander said through clenched teeth. "I don't want to play any games. I know you are the strongest of them all and you can do what I want. You can have my soul; I don't care, just do it."

_Oh no,_ she thought watching Alexander stare the demon down. _He must have come here to save mom. _Obviously the deal must have gone wrong or the demon refused because she never saw her mother again after the day she died. But just the fact alone that Alexander was that desperate to come to a demon for help surprised her. Alexander never seemed like that kind of man. A desperate man. And he didn't act as if the loss of her mother had affected him so much.

The demon remained quiet for a long moment as if considering the demand before he put his fingers together like a steeple and looked at Alexander. "I really don't think you are in any position to make demands, Mr. Sheppard," he replied finally his smile widening. "I know plenty of demons who think your suffering is as sweet as candy, now why would I want to change that?"

"Because you can have _me_," Alexander replied quickly stepping forward. "You guys want me and I am offering myself up. Just bring them back, let me kill the demon and in ten years I am yours for the taking."

Alex hesitated. _Them?_ Who was them?

"I can't do that," the demon replied shaking his head. "I am a reasonable demon, but to allow you to purposefully kill one of my kind _and _give you ten years? That is far too generous of me."

Alexander's face fell slightly, but his stern look returned seconds later. "How long?"

"Two," the demon offered.

Alexander shook his head. "No deal, that isn't long enough. Eight."

"Three."

"No," Alexander shook his head again.

"You still think you have something worthy that I want," the demon said with a frown on his face. "I can kill you right here and now, and take your soul. I don't need to wait ten years to take it. You are trying to take advantage of my generosity."

Alex turned surprised eyes on Alexander and watched his eyes drop as he contemplated it. _This is it,_ she thought. _This is why mom never came back. He refused the deal. _

"Six," Alexander offered looking back up at the demon. "Six or I walk here and now."

The demon sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine…six years. That's all."

Alex looked to Alexander in surprise seeing the small relief that swept over his face. She didn't understand why her mother wasn't alive if this is what he had made the deal for. Where had something gone wrong?

"I can only bring back one," the demon continued snapping her out of her thoughts. "You decide which."

Alexander's face fell and this time he didn't regain his composure back as quickly. He stared stoically at the demon and when he opened his mouth the demon shook his head, cutting him off.

"There is no negotiating this one," the demon said sternly with a frown. "You chose _one_. And that is it."

The realization of it all hit Alex like a ton of bricks. It brought tears to her eyes instantly and she shook her head talking to herself aloud. "No…this didn't happen. This did not happen," she whispered.

Alexander spoke confirming everything she had just realized, making her heart sink in her chest. "Bring my daughter back," he said softly. "I want my little girl to live."

The demons smile returned. "Excellent choice..."

"I have one more request," Alexander said softly holding up one finger. "I don't want her to remember this, and I don't want her to ever find out about it. So please don't send the hounds after me. Make me suffer if you will, but make her think I died of something natural so she never ends up here."

The pleading in Alexander's voice was too much to bear; she began to sob as she watched the demon hesitate, but nod after a moment. "Fine…I will get creative with your demise," he said with a nod.

Alexander took a deep breath and nodded. "Good…now how do we seal it??"

The demon stepped forward to take Alexander's face in his hands and kiss him for a long moment. Alexander didn't struggle, just stood absolutely still with a demons lips pressed to his own. When he withdrew, Alexander wiped his mouth and spit on the ground.

"Bring me the girl," the demon said nodding towards Alexander's truck.

Alexander hesitated, looking at his truck then back to the demon. "Why?"

"You want me to bring her back don't you?"

Alexander frowned but walked quickly to the truck and pulled open the back seat driver side door. Alex felt her stomach cringe as she watched Alexander pull a small limp body from the car. She recognized herself immediately lying pale and still in Alexander's arms at the age of ten. Her own small eyes were still open in a dead stare and as he carried her closer she could see that she was covered in blood with a gaping wound across her throat. Alex gasped and reached for her throat. She had died that very same day her mother had and Alexander had made a deal to bring her back. It all made sense now, what the trickster had said that day about her. Alexander had given up his life to save her, the same way that Dean was giving up his life to save Sam.

Alexander placed her ten year old body at the demons feet before straightening and backing up a few steps. The demon knelt beside her, touching her pale face that was still covered in blood before reaching behind his back and grabbing a knife. Alexander came rushing forward immediately, but the demon held out a hand making Alexander freeze, his muscles tight as he struggled against the invisible hold.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked through clenched teeth.

The demon raised an eyebrow as he smiled. "I have been waiting to find someone like your daughter for a long time and thankfully you brought her right to me."

Alexander's face fell in confusion and Alex's did too. "What the hell do you mean?" he asked, a scowl crossing his face.

The demon ignored his question, dragging his knife across the skin of his wrist right above her mouth. She could do nothing, but watch as the demon brought his bleeding wrist to her mouth and blood poured in as he began to chant quickly. It was in ancient language that he did not know and he spoke to fast for her to even try and guess what he was saying. She watched as the color returned to her ten year old face and the wound closed and healed over. Ten year old Alex sat up with a gasp reaching for her throat, her eyes wide before she was looking around.

"Alex!" Alexander yelled.

The demon released him and he dropped to the ground with a thud, only taking a second before he was on his feet again and running to his daughter. He swept her into his arms, hugging her tightly to his chest before backing away from the demon who straightened with a bright smile.

"What did you do to my little girl?" Alexander questioned.

"What you asked me to do," The demon answered. "And a little more…You have a very special little girl there, Alexander. Don't worry she wont remember any of this tomorrow. I'll see you in six years."

* * *

Alex came out of the vision with a gasp, shoving the demon away from her as she did. She had tears rolling down her face and she had to force back a sob as she gazed at the smiling demon that was licking his lips.

"What the hell did you do to me?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"What your father asked me too," he replied.

"No!" she shouted angrily stepping forward. "You gave me your blood you sick son of a bitch. Why?! What did you put in me?"

His smile only widened as he looked at her, unphased by her anger. "You will find out soon enough, Alexandra," he said softly. "Now it is time for you to hold up your end of the bargain."

He reached behind him withdrawing a knife much like in the vision and it made her take a step back. He hesitated, anger rolling over his face for a second before he tilted his head. "You aren't trying to back out of our deal now are you?" he asked slowly, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

She felt a chill run up her spine right before she heard a low growl behind her. She froze instantly as she felt warm breath on the back of her jeans and her eyes went wide. She didn't need to turn to know that it was a hell hound and she didn't really want to turn to find out.

"If you don't fulfill your end of the bargain then that voids your contract and your soul is mine for the taking," the demon continued.

She hesitated weighing the options of trying to run. The hounds would be after her for the rest of her life and probably end up killing her and dragging her to hell with Dean. She stepped forward and held her hand out to him. He took her hand in his carefully and gripped her wrist, pushing the sleeve of Dean's over shirt up to reveal her forearm. He brought the knife to her skin, slicing her right across the plump flesh of the underside of her forearm making her wince. He cut deep and it took every ounce of will she had not to cry out.

His eyes flashed red as he brought her arm to his mouth and his tongue snaked out. She winced as she felt his teeth scrape her skin as his mouth made contact and then he was sucking, hard. She felt her skin crackle with energy and a rush of it swept through her before he was pulling away from her with a sickened gasp.

"All that power inside of you and you have no clue that it's even there. Power that _I _gave you," he said slowly, almost sounding angry as he looked down at her. "You will be far more valuable than any of us anticipated."

"What did you turn me into?" she demanded putting pressure on the cut. "Why did you give me your blood? What do you want me for?"

The demon said nothing as he gazed at her for a long moment and then he disappeared into thin air right before her very eyes. She stood stunned, staring at where he had been bleeding and confused. She didn't know what to think or feel. She had died at the age of ten and was brought back to life by demon blood. And now they had a plan for her, and what that plan was she had no idea.

* * *

When she made it back to the motel room, she parked the Honda right where she had found it and hoped that the owner had not called the cops yet. She wiped her prints from the car and then trudged to the room that she shared with the Winchesters. When she put her key in the door and turned it, the door was yanked open and she found Dean Winchester standing in the door way looking angry. Her stomach caved in as he stared at her and she opened her mouth to speak when he grabbed her. The kiss that came next surprised her, it was filled with anger and relief and she barely had the chance to kiss back before he was pulling away from her.

"Where the hell have you been?" he questioned looking at her. "We got arrested and attacked by a shit load of demons and nearly got killed and I come here hoping to find the woman I love safe and sound and she's not here." She sighed, running a hand through her hair revealing the cut on her arm. Dean grabbed her arm quickly and inspected the wound looking at her. "Alex, what the hell happened to you?"

She pulled her arm away from him and brushed past him finding Sam sitting on the bed, looking up at her confused. She turned to Dean who was still standing in the doorway looking at her expectantly when she sighed. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to come clean, it was all too much to bear alone.

"Dean…Sam," she said softly. "There is something I have to tell you."


	11. Matters of the Heart

**A/N: Hello!!! I am back and with a smut filled update...Were you guys shocked about the deal? hehe...I am mischievious I know. Anyway so here is the aftermath of it all and you may not get the reaction that you expect from Dean and Sam, but this is how it came out of my head. Feel free to tell me if you hate it...I won't mind....aside from that enjoy and R&R**

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You both had to live for six months thinking I was gone during which you slept together…_again_ and had a heart to heart with the trickster where he told Alex that basically her father made a deal and Sam was obsessed with saving me. Then Alex, you go to a crossroads _alone _and meet the most powerful crossroads demon who tells you that you died when you were ten and your father made a deal to bring you back and the demon infected you with demon blood?"

Alex sighed heavily before looking back up at Dean with a nod. Dean said nothing for a long moment staring at Alex as she sat on the bed looking up at him like she was a five year old who had just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She could tell by the way his jaw was set and the fire in his hazel green eyes, that he was upset. _Really upset. _But Alex had wanted to come clean; she didn't want to hide anything else from Dean even if meant crucifying herself as well as Sam. She had tried to ignore the hitch in his voice when he talked about her being infected with demon blood, but it was too much to ignore. She knew what he was thinking; probably the same thing he thought about Sam's being infected with demon blood. She saw the way his eyes changed as he looked at her now, there was caution in them.

"I need a drink," Dean said finally, moving away from them and walking to the small fridge in the kitchenette. He pulled out a beer, opening it and taking five long swigs before looking back at them.

"Dean-," Sam started rising to his feet from where he had been sitting in the chair of the desk.

Dean held up a hand making his brother fall silent. "Hold on Sammy…I'm trying to…process all of this," he said softly as he shook his head and took another swig.

He didn't know what to be madder about. The fact that they had lied to him _and_ slept together again or that his girlfriend had gone to the crossroads alone and tried to go up against a demon? And what did it mean for Alex to have a powerful crossroad demons blood coursing through her veins? Did that make her worse than Sam? Was she going to change? Did he have to worry about protecting her and how she was going to be after he was gone? He shook his head again and finished his beer looking up to find them both staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted with a shrug shaking his head again. "I'm pissed off that you both lied to me and you both slept together _again_, but that kind of pales in comparison to the fact that you both are infected with demon blood and the demons have a plan for you both and I am going to hell in three months. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to think. The two people I care about most in my life are the two people I don't even know how to feel about."

Neither Alex or Sam said anything, they both only gazed at him for a moment before their eyes strayed and Dean sighed. He set aside his empty beer bottle and walked forward grabbing his coat and car keys before he moved toward the door. Alex was on her feet the minute he gripped the knob, her hand on his arm making him turn.

"Dean," she said softly as she looked up into his eyes. "Look…me and Sam…it didn't mean-."

"I know," he said cutting her off as his eyes dropped. "I just need some time to think…"

She released his arm with a sigh and he pulled the door open, slipping through before closing it behind him. She stared at the closed door for a long moment before turning back to Sam and finding his eyes on the dark carpet of the floor. She walked back toward the bed and sat down beside him, her own eyes moving toward the carpet to try and find what was so interesting to him. Neither spoke for a long moment.

"I'm sorry that I told him…about us," Alex said softly, her eyes still down.

Sam sighed. "Don't be…you did the right thing, Alex," he replied. "Dean deserves to know everything."

"I don't know what to do, Sam," she whispered shaking her head. "I…have demon blood in me…hell we both do…but what for?"

Sam shook his head. That was a question he had been asking himself for a long time. He didn't know how to respond to it because he truly didn't know. He looked at Alex for a long moment before his eyes fell to the cut on her arm.

"That looks like it needs stitches," he said nodding to it.

Alex blinked and looked down at the cut before shrugging. "I don't care," she admitted.

"We may be infected with demon blood, but we are still human," he replied with a frown. "We need to stitch that up before it gets infected."

She sighed. "Fine."

He rose to his feet, walking to his duffel and grabbing the suture kit. He walked back to her and sat down on the bed, taking her arm in his hands and inspecting the wound. She didn't say anything or look at him as he inspected it and then began to string up a suture. She remained quiet as he poured rubbing alcohol over it, even though it stung like hell.

"You want a drink?" he asked making her look into his eyes.

She shook her head. "I don't think I should," she admitted. "I should be sober."

Sam nodded and began to stitch her up. She ignored the sting of it, pushing it all to the back of her mind as she thought about everything she had experienced that night. Everything she had believed all her life had been a lie. It made her doubt everything she believed in, even who she was. She should have been dead long ago along with her mother, and because her father wanted her to live he sacrificed himself. Now she was alone on the earth with no true family and no one to answer any of her questions.

"Don't think about it," Sam said snapping her out of her thoughts as he pulled the needle through her skin one last time and then tied the suture. "I know you're wondering why there is demon blood inside of you and what the demon has planned for you, but you can't figure it out on your own. Trust me. I have tried. And you'll go insane trying to if you don't stop. I know you aren't evil, Alex. You are a good person…the same way I know I am a good person…that's why we should just let it go for now. The answers will come along the way. And maybe it's better if we never know."

Alex hesitated watching him break the suture and then begin to put the things away. She couldn't just let it go. It wasn't that simple, she had to know what they wanted her for and why they had done this to her. She didn't want to just wait for answers; she didn't want to just wait and see what would become of her. But she knew that Sam was only trying to help, to ease her mind about things going on and nodded.

"Okay," she said softly pulling her arm back and inspecting his work.

Sam put the kit back into his duffel and reached for his coat. "I am going to go for a walk," he said pulling it on. "Try to clear my head. Alex?"

"Yeah?" she said looking up at him.

"If you ever do anything that stupid again, I will kick your ass," he said sternly with a frown. "And by stupid I mean go to a crossroads alone."

Alex hesitated, surprised at the anger in his voice, but nodded. "Okay."

Sam nodded and walked to the door. "Okay."

She watched him walk out of the door before rising to her feet and grabbing her duffel. She carried it to the bathroom with her, turning on the light. She turned the shower on and shut the bathroom door. She stripped quickly and climbed into the warm water, reaching forward to increase the temperature to near scalding. She was hoping the hot water would vaporize the demon blood from her body, but she knew it wouldn't. She sighed and leaned against the cool tile, unable to keep herself from thinking, _I'm a freak._

* * *

Dean was sitting behind the wheel of the impala staring at the door to their motel room. He truly hadn't wanted to go anywhere and he truly didn't want to be inside around his brother or Alex either. So he confined himself within the shell of the impala, finding comfort in being encased in the steel with warm leather underneath him. He had tried to clear his mind; to allow him a few moments of worry and stress free bliss but was unable to stop everything that was running through his head. Finding out that Sam had known all along that there was a powerful demon named Lilith who wanted Sam's intestines on a stick, the death of Hendrickson and Nancy and the deputy, finding out that Alex and Sam had slept together again, and that she was infected with demon blood and had died. It was all too much for any normal man to bear, but he didn't consider himself to be a normal man so he added it to all the other things he carried on his shoulders and filed it under _Dealing with it later_. But later was going to come to soon, he was dying and there was nothing anyone could do about it, even he knew that.

He didn't know what he was going to do about Alex. He didn't think he could truly be upset with her for sleeping with Sam again. After the way she had put it he couldn't blame them, even though he wanted too badly. He could imagine them alone all that time, hurting and angry, wanting revenge and having no one and nothing but each other. It only made sense for them to try and find some comfort in one another, after all who better to relate to each other besides the two of them? But just because he understood it, didn't mean that he was any less pissed off about it. He didn't want to spend the last few months worrying about what would happen between them after he was gone. Would they fall in love? Get married? Have little kids that they named after him in his memory? He shook his head. He didn't want that, Alex was _his_. He loved her like no other and that he could say with a lot of confidence. He truly didn't care that she was infected with demon blood, granted it scared the living hell out of him to not know what the demons wanted her for, but he loved her for who he knew her as. And she was a fun-loving, understanding, and caring, kick ass woman who put up with him and loved him just as much in return, they both had made mistakes along the way, and he was willing to put it behind them all. He would just have to let her know how much he loved her and that she was his and no one else's.

He unlocked the driver side door and climbed from the impala. He walked into the motel room knowing not to expect to find Sam because he had seen him walk out of the room a little while after he did. He moved toward the bathroom, walking to the door and pushing it open. He found her stepping out of the shower, still dripping wet and naked as she reached for her towel on the rack. She jumped when she heard the door opening, bringing up her hands to cover her breasts.

"Dean!" she hissed looking at him with wide eyes. "You scared the hell out of me…I thought…you were going out.."

He stepped further into the bathroom, his eyes never leaving her as he shut the door behind himself and took careful steps toward her. She watched him coming, looking at him with bright eyes, hands still covering her breasts until he reached her and took her face in his hands. He didn't say anything as he gazed at her for a long moment, taking in the beauty of her face.

"Dean…" she started slowly, her eyes dropping as they began to water. "I'm sorry…"

"Shh…." He whispered brushing his thumbs across her cheek. "Don't…"

He leaned forward, capturing her mouth with his and sliding his tongue over hers. She shivered against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his arms came around her to bring her body closer. She felt like heaven in his arms, her body fitting perfectly against his. She was everything he wanted and needed, which made him even more mad that Sam had touched what was rightfully his. It drove him crazy to know that he only had a few more months with her before he was going to bed dead. He never wanted to leave her, wanted her to be his forever and always.

She pulled away from his kiss with a gasp as his hands slid down her sides, feeling the goose bumps that had risen on her skin from his kiss. She moaned as his hand dipped low sliding up her inner thigh until he found her warmth and pressed his palm against it. His body hardened every time he felt how warm he made her, how wet she became just from his touch. His cock throbbed against her just from feeling it and his teeth nipped at the skin of her neck as her head lulled back. He slid two fingers inside of her making her gasp, allowing a moan to escape from his mouth as he felt her walls begin to pulsate around his fingers. He slid them further, purposefully brushing her g-spot lightly to get a moan from her throat.

"Does that feel good?" he whispered leaning in to her ear, biting her ear lobe when she didn't respond right away.

"Yes," she purred digging her fingers into his shoulders. "Yes Dean…Please…"

He loved it when she begged, loved to hear the pleading in her tone and know that he was the only one who could fill her want. He was throbbing against her, his fingers sliding in and out until she was panting against him. He brought his thumb up circling her clit to add to the pleasure, getting a louder moan from her mouth as her walls throbbed faster around his fingers.

"Dean," she gasped against him her fingers digging deeper into his flesh. "Please…more…god please…"

He didn't stop, only increased the tempo until she was shivering and panting. He brushed her g-spot again making her let out a small cry and knew she was close. The fire burned within him and he grinded himself into her. She gasped as he brushed over her sensitive area once more, pushing in deeper as her walls constricted around his fingers. He groaned as he felt her orgasm rip through her, making her cry out against him, warm liquid gushing against his fingers as her walls clamped down on his fingers like a vice. He didn't stop, he rode out the orgasm until her walls released his fingers and he withdrew them from her as she gazed up at him through heavy lidded eyes. He brought his fingers to her lips, touching them gently until she pulled them into her mouth and sucked her own juices from them. He let out a groan feeling his cock bob and the fire within him intensify.

"I want you so bad, Dean," she moaned as she gripped his wrist and pulled his fingers from her mouth. She guided his hand down to her warmth again, pressing his fingers against her entrance so he could feel the wetness of her again. "See what you do to me?"

His teeth clenched as he felt her heat, and he pulled his hand away to unbuckle his jeans. Her hands came forward to help, yanking his shirt over his head and then gripping sides of his jeans to push them down his hips. Her hand gripped his cock once it was free, stroking him slowly as his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he thrust into her hand. He wanted her badly, wanted to feel her cum around him many more times.

"Bed," he growled taking her hand and stepping away from her. "Now."

She didn't need telling twice, he pulled her along with him as the exited the bathroom before pushing he down onto the bed. He kicked his jeans off the rest of the way before kneeling down beside the bed and yanking her hips toward the edge. She bent her knees allowing him full view of her and arched as he pressed his lips to her clit, his tongue snaking out to taste it. He moaned softly as his tongue swirled around her, teasing and tasting before sliding into her opening. He could hear her panting on the bed, her hips grinding against his mouth as her body searched for some sort of release. His name rolled off her lips as he slid two fingers within her, sucking her clit as he slid them in and out. The grinding of her hips increased and he could feel her walls begin to throb quickly around his fingers.

"Yes," he urged softly pulling his mouth away from her warmth. "Cum for me, Alex...I want to taste it."

"Oh god…Please Dean…," she panted and begged above him.

He slid his fingers in deep licking the pad of his tongue up her clit simultaneously. It sent her over the edge with a loud cry, her body trembling with the force of the orgasm. He rode it out, his fingers growing slicker as he continued to slide them in and out of her until she relaxed completely on the bed. He withdrew his fingers from her, sliding his body over hers to take her mouth. He kissed her hungrily as his hands gripped her hips and pushed her further back onto the bed. He settled himself between her hips, the tip of him rubbing against her entrance.

"Please Dean…" she begged looking up at him with desperate eyes. "I want you… I need you…please."

"How bad?" he countered sliding himself up along her clit. "How bad do you want me?"

"So bad…" she moaned through clenched teeth. "Please…make love to me…"

He slid the tip of himself into her unable to resist the inviting warmth of her anymore. He hissed at the feel of her warmth gripping him, throbbing warm and wet around him, begging for him to come in further. He resisted against his better judgment, wanting to hear her beg more. He grabbed both her hands as they reached downward trying to slide him in herself and held her wrists down to the mattress. Her body reacted immediately, beginning to grind against the tip of him, trying to get him all within her.

"Am I the only one you want, Alex?" he whispered looking into her eyes as she panted beneath. "Is it just me and only me?"

"Yes, Dean," she panted gripping his shoulder tight. "Only you…please…"

He slid himself in a little further making himself shiver and her moan. "Forever?" he questioned further rocking his hips forward just a little to make her moan again.

"Forever," she answered with a nod. "Only you…please.."

He smirked at her answer, surging forward hard to slide into her until he reached the hilt. She gasped in surprise, trying to move her hands, but he continued to hold her wrists as he slid into her with long sure strokes. She throbbed around him making him moan softly in time with each of his thrusts as he purposefully brought her close to the edge and then changed up his tempo to throw her off. She was squirming and begging beneath him, pushing her hips up into his with each of his thrusts until he could take no more. He slid home twice more hitting just the right spot that was sending them both over the edge at once. He gripped her wrists tightly, his body shaking as he spilled himself into her before he collapsed on top of her.

He took a moment to catch his breath, feeling the ripples from within her dying down. He released her wrists, sitting up on his elbows as he looked down at her. The passion and lust in her eyes was gone now and they were filled with shame and apologies that he didn't want to hear. He knew she was sorry, he knew that she didn't mean it, just as much as he knew that she had no control over the fact that a demon had infected her with his blood. He didn't care.

"Alex…I love you," he said making her blink in surprise. "More than I have ever loved any woman. I don't care about the demon blood and I don't care that you died. I'm just happy your alive and I want you to be mine forever…."

She didnt speak for a long moment. "Dean...I am yours..."

"No I mean officially," he replied shaking his head.

She hesitated. "What do you mean?"

"Marry me..."

She blinked up at him in surprise, her mouth opening slightly. He felt his heart skip a beat for the few seconds that he didn't get a response and then she was up on her own elbows, kissing him deeply. When she pulled her mouth from his, he saw tears rolling down her face.

"Yes, Dean," she said softly, pressing her forehead against his. "I will marry you."


	12. The Wedding

**A/N: This chapter is devastatingly short and I apologize for that, but the next chapter is the BIG chapter where Dean unfortunately faces his last night on earth and with Alex and Sam so expect a loooooonnnnnngggg exciting smut, angst, and drama filled chapter next!!In the mean time read this little snippet that is pretty much just a filler chapter…haha**

* * *

"You're really going to marry Dean?" Bobby asked again for the sixth time looking at Alex.

Alex nodded and smiled at him. "I love him Uncle Bobby," she admitted with a shrug.

"I love the boy too, but he is going to die in five days, Alex," Bobby said trying to reason with her. "You are going to be a widow."

Alex frowned at him. "Uncle Bobby..."

"Don't get me wrong, Alexandra," Bobby said quickly putting his hands up. "I love the both of you and I am happy that you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together, but the rest of Dean's life only happens to be five short days."

"That's only _if_ we don't find a way to save him, but we will," Alex reasoned.

"You can't know that for sure, Alex," Bobby said softly shaking his head. "I just don't want to see you heart broken."

Alex's face fell slightly and her eyes dropped. "He is the love of my life, Bobby...and whether he dies as my husband or dies as my boyfriend, it's not going to matter. It's going to hurt just the same...."

Bobby sighed, but nodded. "Then you have my blessing kiddo."

Alex offered a weak smile and turned continue fussing with her hair in the mirror. "Thanks, Uncle Bobby."

Bobby frowned for a moment, but allowed a small smile to spread across his face. Alex was like a daughter to him after all and if she truly loved Dean and this was what she wanted then he would just have to be okay with it. He hadn't heard from Dean, Sam, or Alex for a few weeks; he had been busy trying to find some way to save Dean, and they had been busy dealing with fake ghost hunters who had nearly gotten them all killed, a crocotta with a cell phone, a psychotic doctor who was into taking out body parts and then getting the colt back from Bella and finding out about her own deal. When Bobby had finally gotten a call, he was shocked to hear it was because Dean and Alex were getting married. They wanted to do it at his house, one of the only places both of them could truly call home. They had phoned Bill, an old hunting friend of John's who was also a minister and he had agreed to marry them there. Bobby hesitantly agreed to everything and Dean, Sam, and Alex arrived the next day.

Alex turned to face Bobby after fussing with her hair a bit more and raised her eyebrows. "What do you think?" she asked hesitantly.

She had gone out and bought a white dress, wanting to live up to the cliché at least a little. It wasn't like anything she would normally wear; she was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl and only happened to own one black miniskirt. The dress was tight, hugging every curve of her body, and short. It came down to the middle of her thighs. She hadn't done anything special with her hair just let it fall down her shoulders. She was nervous even though there wasn't going to be a grand ceremony, just her, Dean, Sam, and Bobby in the living room of Bobby's house, with beer and pizza to eat afterwards. She was still getting married either way, something that she thought would never happen to her, and to the famous Dean Winchester no less. She knew he only had five days left and they had no way of finding Lilith or fighting her off, the chances of saving him were slim, but she didn't want to give up. She wouldn't.

"You look great, Alex," Bobby said suddenly very serious. "Dean is a lucky man…"

Alex smiled. "I'm ready then…"

Bobby extended his arm to her and she took it walking with him down the stairs to the first floor. They found Dean and Sam standing with Bill in the living room, the men chatting quietly with beers in hand. When they heard them coming their set their beers down quickly, and Bill and Sam stepped back from Dean as he watched Alex walk down the stairs in awe. She smiled brightly at him, taking his hand once she reached him and giving it a squeeze.

"Wow…you look…like a million bucks," he said shaking his head as he looked her up and down.

She blushed crimson, her eyes dropping. "Thank you…"

"You guys ready?" Bill asked making them both look at him.

Dean and Alex both nodded at once. "Yeah," he said looking back at Alex. "I am ready."

Alex felt her heart leap in his chest at those words and Bill began the makeshift ceremony. She couldn't believe that she was marrying Dean Winchester and that he actually wanted to marry her in return. She had asked him if this was what he had truly wanted, saying that he didn't have to marry her just because he was dying and didn't want her to find love again. After loving a man like Dean, she doubted she ever would. But he insisted that he wanted to die a happily married man, and she was the key to that. From then on she didn't care that he was dying or that she didn't have a ring. None of it mattered, just hearing Dean say his vows to her made all her dreams come true. Bill breezed through the ceremony quickly like they had asked, glossing over the part about exchanging rings and anyone having objections and finally the grand finale came.

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of South Dakota; I know pronounce you man and wife," Bill finished with a smile. "You can kiss her…." He added nodding at Dean.

Dean smirked and turned to Alex, taking her into his arms and kissing her passionately as Bobby and Sam clapped softly. When he pulled back from the kiss he saw tears rolling down her cheeks and reached a hand up to wipe them away. She smiled at him despite the tears and kissed him quickly once more before withdrawing.

"You are officially a Winchester now," Sam said stepping forward to hug Alex. "Welcome to the dysfunction."

* * *

"You want to do it again?"

Alex huffed, wiping sweat from her brow as she pulled the sheets back up over her naked form and looked at Dean who lay beside her. "I don't think I can take another round," she chuckled scooting closer to snuggle into the warmth of him. "Besides I think Sam and Bobby would like to get some sleep now, without having to hear this old bed creak and groan."

They lay in Alex's old room, both of them covered in sweat. They had spent some time with Bobby and Sam after the ceremony, eating pizza and drinking beer as they talked and laughed for the time being, thoughts of demon blood, crossroad deals, and deal momentarily gone. Once the pizza was gone, Dean and Alex headed upstairs to "consummate" their marriage as Dean playfully told her. She was nervous about being in Bobby's house, but once Dean was inside of her everything else just flew out the window, she would just have to apologize to Bobby the next day.

Dean wrapped his arm around her, burying his face into her damp hair. "I don't want this night to end," he whispered into her ear.

She sighed. "Me either."

He lifted his head and looked into her eyes as he caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a ring or a proper wedding," he said softly kissing her bottom lip.

She frowned at him in return. "I don't care about having a ring, Dean. And I think our wedding was perfect," she insisted with a small smile. "Because it was me, you, Sam, and Bobby, together like a family. All the people I care about most were there to see it and most of all I got marry you…what more could I have needed?"

Dean couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, falling more in love with her if it was even possible. _Only four days left of this after tonight, Dean_, a voice in the back of his mind said. _And then you will be gone…and she will be alone to suffer. Just like Sammy._ He frowned and shook the thoughts from his head looking down at his hand to gaze at the silver ring he always wore on his finger. It was one of the few possessions he had owned for a long time. He pulled it from his finger and held up to the light watching it reflect off the silver before turning to Alex who was watching him.

"Here," he said taking her hand and placing it in her palm. He knew it would be too big to fit on any of her fingers. "This will be your ring…I want you to have it."

Alex felt her eyes water as she wrapped her hand around the ring and looked into Dean's eyes. _When did I get so damn emotional?_ She thought leaning up too kiss him as she slipped the ring on her thumb, it was still too big, but she didn't care. "Thank you, Dean," she whispered. "It's perfect."

"Alex….look…" he started, his eyes dropping. "_If_ we don't find some way to save me…I don't want you to beat yourself up okay? I knew what I was doing when I made that deal…and now I wish sometimes that I hadn't because I have to lose you, but…losing Sam-."

Alex put her hand up, shaking her head to cut him off. It was her wedding night and she didn't want to hear the "If I die" speech. She already knew everything he was going to say, already knew that he both regretted and feared the decision he had made that day at the crossroads, but she also knew that if had a second chance he would do it again. That was just the kind of man that Dean Winchester was and that's why she loved him so much. She leaned forward to kiss him as he fell silent.

"Shut up, Mr. Winchester," she said after brushing her lips across his. "I don't want to hear that kind of talk right now…you have more important things to attend too."

Dean raised an eyebrow, a smirk sliding across his face. "Oh really, _Mrs. Winchester_? Like what?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her, nipping his bottom lip. "Me," she answered.


End file.
